你可能听说过距离打败爱情，现实打败爱情，爱情是脆弱的，友情也是一样，都需要我们用心经营、妥善维护，警惕下面这五件事，据说是打败友情的五大杀手！
Friendships can end over a lot of different things because no two relationships are exactly the same. However, there are five situations that make a friendship head toward a bad place, and possibly even end.
友情终结的原因各有不同，因为人与人之间的关系千差万别。然而，以下五种情况，会使友情每况愈下，而且很可能走向终结。
1
No Face Time
长期不见面
We're inundated with hearing from our friends on social media, but how often do we actually see them? If the get togethers with your friends are coming less frequently, it could make you drift apart so badly that your friendship will end as a result.
打开社交软件，我们会看到朋友们发来的消息令人应接不暇。但我们跟他们多久才能真正地见一面呢？如果与朋友小聚的频率越来越低了，朋友之间便会变得疏远，最终以友谊终了收场。
The way to combat this is easy: make time for your friends! Take some time off of Facebook if you have to, and make a point to see and talk with your friends in person.
解决这个困境的方法很简单：抽出时间跟你的朋友见面。必要的话，牺牲一部分刷脸书的时间，与好友相约，面对面畅聊吧。
2
A Lack of Reciprocation
缺乏回馈
While relationships aren't always give and take 100% of the time, if you're failing to give back your friend will assume you don't really care about the friendship and probably move on to someone who does know how to be a good pal.
虽然友情的重点并不在于百分百对等的付出和回报，但是如果你不肯回馈你的朋友，他们会觉得你并不在乎这段关系，所以他们很可能会离你而去，寻找他们心中更懂得“为友之道”的小伙伴了。
If you've behaved selfishly with a friend, take a mental step back and see what you can do to give them the proper attention they deserve.
如果你以前对待朋友有些自私，不妨反思一下，看看自己能做点什么补偿他们，给予他们应有的关心。
3
Negativity
过分消极
Everyone has a different idea of when negativity is too much in a relationship. Some folks don't mind a little gossip or whining, while for others it builds up to the point that they just can't take another toxic word or roll of the eyes.
在一段关系中，每个人对于“过分消极”都有自己的看法。有的人不介意你说三道四，或者听你抱怨，但有些人会觉得消极情绪太多，他们承受不来你的毒舌或者白眼。
Negativity can take on different forms, from just complaining and having a bad attitude to verbal abuse or backstabbing.
消极的形式有很多种，有的是单纯的抱怨，有的则是“出口成脏”，甚至背后中伤他人。
If you've been negative with a friend, it's time to figure out why. Is your self-esteem feeling low? Do you need to get out of a bad romantic relationship, and as a result you're taking it out on your friend? Only you can decide what the issue is, but it's worth fixing. If your current pal decides to end your friendship, your negativity will make it more difficult to connect with someone new.
如果你在与朋友相处时候负能量爆棚，是时候反思自己一下了。是自己自信心不足吗？你是不是正在经历一场痛苦的分手、而将不满发泄在朋友身上？只有你自己能找出问题的根源，并修复你们的友情。如果你现在的朋友决定跟你分道扬镳，你消极的情绪会使你的新朋友也对你敬而远之。
4
An Inability to Adapt
适应能力差
The only thing certain in a friendship is that at some point, it will change. To what degree and how it will affect the friendship will vary from person to person.
友情中唯一能确定的事就是：有些时候，友情是会变的。而变化到什么程度、会不会影响你们之间的关系则因人而异。
With some friends, when one person's situation changes, they look for new friends who more closely match their situation. Friends that get married, for example, might look for new couple friends and spend less time with their single friends. When people have kids, they might stop inviting over someone without children because they assume they don't get what their life is all about right now.
对于有些人来说，当一个人周遭的环境变了，他们会寻找能更融入他圈子的新朋友。比如，结了婚的人可能会交到夫妻档的朋友，跟他们单身的朋友在一起的时间就变少了。当他们有了孩子，可能就不再邀请没有孩子的朋友来家里玩，因为觉得对方可能不了解自己现在生活的重心。
There are plenty of reasons why a friendship may change, but the key question is how will you adapt? It's a good idea to continually make new friends, so when an existing relationship gets confusing, you can take some time away from it before it becomes overwhelming and ends. Often, when you've had time to get used to the adjustment, the friendship can go on, even if it's different than before.
友情发生变化的原因很多，但关键是你如何适应变化。建议你去不断结识新朋友，这样一来，当现有的友情遇到波折，至少在这段友谊终结之前，你可以暂且不去想它。通常情况下，给你自己一点时间去适应改变，你们的友谊就能继续下去，尽管相处的方式可能与之前不同。
5
Conflicts That Grow
冲突升级
Conflicts don't have to end a friendship. In fact, they don't even need to signify that something is wrong. And yet it seems very difficult for people to talk things through in a healthy way. Common mistakes that people make with conflicts include:
冲突本身并不会终结一段关系。事实上，冲突预示着在这段关系中有些地方出了问题。但是貌似人们不太会用一种健康的方式把事情说开。关于冲突，大家一般会犯以下几种错误：
Pretending that nothing is wrong, but then letting the problem grow.
掩饰冲突，令矛盾升级
Shutting down the friend that tries to talk to them.
不给朋友解释的机会
Failing to bring up an issue and then getting so annoyed with a friend as a result that they begin to badmouth the friend.
不肯指出问题所在，而后对朋友感到厌烦，最后苛责朋友
Ignoring clues that a friend has had enough with certain behaviors.
没有意识到朋友可能已经不能容忍某些行为
Think of conflict as a desire to make things better in your friendship. Approach disagreements with the goal of coming to an understanding, not trying to change someone's mind or get your way. Remember that how you say something is just as important as what you say.
把你们冲突看做是改善你们之间关系的契机。有不同意见时，就本着互相理解的原则先达成共识，而不是去改变他人的想法，一味满足自己。要记住，说话的方式跟说话内容一样重要。
