First, I have a special request for the audience, more precisely, for Ava:
Could you give me a hug, please?
It's ok. That's what I want. A REJECTION.
When I was young, I used to collect something very cool.
Maybe you could guess what it is. Every time when I expressed my special interest to a pretty girl. I always got a gift from her. An exquisite card that full of praising words on it. From those cards, I knew how kind I was. I have even collected a full deck of cards that I can play poker game.
OK. Honestly speaking, every time when I received the good man card, I felt it was a disaster for me. as if it was the end of the world. I started to be skeptical about myself. As a male, was I have nothing to attract a female?
Things are going on, I found every time I got a rejection, not only the romantic side, I became more and more unconfident.
It was about three years ago, I advised to develop a new equipment to test our product. It could amazingly improve our productivity. But our manager said:"no". Without asking why I just closed my mouth and never mentioned it. It's a stupid idea, and I am stupid too. Why I suggested such a stupid thing! At that time, I told myself time and time again. From that time, I lost my courage to innovate for my work.
Finally, I started feeling like everyone might reject me, even my closest loved ones. I began to feel terrified when I want to ask for something from my families and friends. I was scared of being rejected. I put myself in my small castle, my own territory, closed the door.
Fortunately, I joined our club less than two years ago. Because someone promised me the VPE is the most important officer except the President, I took the job. What I didn't know is, this job is a hell of rejections.
One major job of VPE is to encourage members to do more speeches. In most cases, when I ask a member to do a cc next week or next month, they would probably say no. In this situation, I clearly know It's not my fault. So I always ask for the reason. Someone are busy for work at that time; someone just has no idea what to say. All in all, THEY HAVE THEIR OWN REASONS.
Another major job for VPE is to assist meeting manager in finding facilitators.
"Could you help us to do the IE tomorrow?"
"I am not free tomorrow, Sorry."
"Could you be our TOM next meeting?"
"TOM!!! I can't do that!"
"Could you just visit our club's meeting?"
"I have no interest."
But I didn't give up. I always can find someone else to feed the gap. Because I tried to invite tens of my acquaintances, as a result, I have added more than 500 people in weechat. Even for this meeting, I have invited more than 10 guests, and finally, () of them came here. That means I got another () rejections.
This kind of experience also told me another truth about rejection. If nobody says yes to you, then don't give up, there is always someone's waiting for you.
To be a VPE for one year, I found I became more and more tolerant for rejections. But I don't why.
Till I read a story about an American-Chinese young man, who was suffered from rejections, started to seek rejections for 100 days. As getting more rejections he got more confident.
Just as him, I used to automatically blame myself after being rejected. But after hundreds of times being rejected as a VPE, I started to know, first, rejection is just an opinion of the rejector, not the business of rejectee. Second, every request could have a potential one to say yes.
It's truly an amazing lesson that Toastmaster's journy taught me. It's not a big deal of receiving a rejection.
Next time, when you feel hurt by a rejection, please remember three rules:
1 Don't run, ask for the reason.
2 It's not your fault, It's not your business.
3 Don't give up, just try to switch up.(for another chance or for another people)
So back to my first request, Ava, Could you give me a hug?
