《与焦虑、敏感和低落的孩子工作》第一章 1.4

《Working with Anxious, Nervous and Depressed Children》

I.FUNDAMENTALS OF A SPIRITUAL-EDUCATIONAL PRACTICE .(从灵性层面的教育实践基础)

1.4 IS THE BODY TOO CHILLY FOR THE SOUL?

1.4 身体对于灵魂来说是否太冷了?

The further requirement is that in addition to nutritional questions you make yourself a picture of “a soul squeezed into a body” as described, and regularly carry this image with you as a questioning into sleep. The watcher on the bridge will accept this as a pass if you meet the second condition, that of never failing in faithful observation of the child. It is not my intention to make a hard and fast rule of the above example, chosen at random, as a source of insights derived from meditative practice, but simply to illustrate with a small illustration of what I have in mind.

在有关营养的问题之外,你需要让自己有一幅“灵魂将自己积挤压进身体”的图景,并且定期将这个图景作为一个问题带入到睡眠中去。守桥人会把这种情况视作你的通行证,而且总是充满诚挚的去观察孩子。我并不是想在上述的例子中给出一个不容更改的铁律,只是尽可能简单的展示出我的想法;具体要根据情况来选择,并将此类的冥想练习作为洞察力的一个来源。

When a soul feels itself jammed too tightly into a body, the simple conclusion must be that the soul is too big to fit. So it would naturally tend to be pressed against the confining bodily boundary, unable to get through it, feeling the body to be a dam blocking it.

当心魂感觉自己被紧紧挤进了身体,简单的结论是心魂对于身体而言太大了。所以,很自然的就会有被身体界限紧紧束缚的压力感,心魂难以穿越身体,感觉身体成为一道阻水坝。

Now observe the child’s motions when he is acting up. You will see him continually stretching and twisting, occasionally pulling himself convulsively together and then shaking himself loose again. There can be no question that you see here a blocked condition in which something inward is seeking to get free; the boundary presented by the body is too rigid and impermeable for the child’s subjective feeling. It needs to be more elastic and permeable, a “breathing” border, if it is to form a suitable enclosure for the child’s inner life to expand in.

现在观察孩子的行为动作。你会看到孩子时常会做出伸展或扭曲的动作,有时还会突然痉挛似的收缩然后再晃动着放松下来。如果你能看到一些内在的东西正在试图突破阻碍寻求一种自由的状态,你对于这样的情况就不难理解。对于孩子的主观感受来说身体的屏障过于僵硬和死板(难于渗透)。它需要更加具有弹性和渗透性,就像一个“可以呼吸的”边界,从而可以为孩子的内在生命提供一个更为适合的包裹。

What could be the reason for a child’s experiencing his body as a block in every attempt to enter into relationship with the surrounding world? You already possess the image of a soul that becomes too large for the body. And you now possess the image of the impermeable bodily boundary. That is quite a lot to go on! But wouldn’t it be natural for you now (at night you meditate on the above two, perhaps not technically scientific images, but nevertheless still based upon exact observation) gradually to note an instinctive need awakening in you to find out whether your child is always warm enough? You suddenly notice that the child’s hands and feet are always cold. This may start at first with just an opinion that you are becoming edgy about heat, perhaps, and making the whole family nervous about it. Then you try to understand what is going on. Now you see the corrections needed.

究竟是什么原因使孩子在每一次试图与周围环境建立关系时,都感到自己的身体成为了一种阻碍?你已经有了心魂较于身体而言太大的图景。现在还有了一个关于不可渗透的身体边界的图景。这是一个很好的基础去继续!但是对你来说更自然的(在夜晚你带着以上的两个图景去冥想,或许这图景不是那么严格科学的,但尽管如此还是基于准确的观察)则是逐渐有了一种本能的需求觉醒促使你去思考你的孩子是否足够的温暖?你可能突然意识到孩子的手脚总是凉的。这种情况下,一开始往往会让你对温暖和热变得敏感焦虑,甚至全家都有些紧张兮兮的。然后你试着去理解到底是怎么回事,然后就会慢慢的回归到正轨。

The immediately obvious fact is that cold has some connection with rigidity and impermeability, warmth with mobility, permeability, and elasticity. Things of a soul nature burgeon in warmth, whereas the natural tendency of the physical body is to coldness. The soul can pervade the body properly only by warming it through and through. If this is not achieved from within, the warming process has to be supported from without. Warmth has a desire to expand, and the soul is similar in harboring this desire. The whole material world would stiffen and petrify if there were no such things as warmth.
一个显而易见的事实是这种冷和身体僵硬而难以渗透有所关联,毕竟热量总是需要流动、渗透和灵活性的。心魂这种东西总是需要温暖的,但与此同时物质体非常自然的有冷却的趋势。那么心魂只有不断的去温暖身体才能很好的充盈身体。如果这个过程无法由内达成,那么这个“温暖的过程”就必须有外界的支持了。温暖总是有扩散的渴望,心魂也一样。但整个物质世界如果没有热量则会是生硬冰冷的。

Our human soul- life stands in the same relationship to our physical body, being both contained within it and at the same time pressing beyond the boundary it presents. If the physical body is too strongly subjected to the cold process, the soul element is not just kept within proper bounds (as it should be), but blocked in its need to expand. The child experiences this blockage as painful, particularly in developmental phases in which the soul feels a regular need to live out a dynamic, expansive relationship to the surrounding world. This is experienced in the fourth and fifth years, for example, and later on in the eighth and ninth years, before the introverted pre-pubertal phase sets in.

我们人类的心魂生命对于物质身体而言,也有着完全相同的关系,即在其之又同时需要跨越边界。如果物质身体的冷却过程太强,心魂就无法很好安驻于边界之内,因为其向外扩展的需求被阻碍。孩子会因为这种阻碍而感到痛苦,特别是在孩子的心魂需要与周边世界建立动态、可扩展关系的发展时期。最开始可能是4,5岁的时期,然后就会使8,9岁,在内向的前青春期之前。

Now, as the parent in our example, the time has come to ask yourself a further question: What can I be doing in daily life, in a one-on-one relationship, to support my child in his or her need?
现在,作为例子中的父母,就需要问自己一个进一步的问题了:我们能在日常生活中做什么?在一对一的关系中,如何去支持孩子的需求。

Of course, you have to go on supplying warmth from outside; that is the right thing, and helpful, but it is only treating a symptom. How does it happen that many children today prefer to feel cold? Could it be that they are comfortable when their soul is cool and contracted within their body and uncomfortable when their soul expands in warmth and wedges itself against the confining limits of their impermeable bodily boundary?

当然,你需要继续从外部为孩子提供温暖,这样做没错,有所帮助,但这仅仅是治标。是什么让如今那么多的孩子容易感到寒冷?有没有这种可能,当他们的心魂冰冷而收缩于身体之内他们感觉舒服,但当他们的心魂温暖扩张而与外在不可穿越的边界相对抗时,就感到很不舒服呢?

最后编辑于
©著作权归作者所有,转载或内容合作请联系作者
  • 序言:七十年代末,一起剥皮案震惊了整个滨河市,随后出现的几起案子,更是在滨河造成了极大的恐慌,老刑警刘岩,带你破解...
    沈念sama阅读 219,589评论 6 508
  • 序言:滨河连续发生了三起死亡事件,死亡现场离奇诡异,居然都是意外死亡,警方通过查阅死者的电脑和手机,发现死者居然都...
    沈念sama阅读 93,615评论 3 396
  • 文/潘晓璐 我一进店门,熙熙楼的掌柜王于贵愁眉苦脸地迎上来,“玉大人,你说我怎么就摊上这事。” “怎么了?”我有些...
    开封第一讲书人阅读 165,933评论 0 356
  • 文/不坏的土叔 我叫张陵,是天一观的道长。 经常有香客问我,道长,这世上最难降的妖魔是什么? 我笑而不...
    开封第一讲书人阅读 58,976评论 1 295
  • 正文 为了忘掉前任,我火速办了婚礼,结果婚礼上,老公的妹妹穿的比我还像新娘。我一直安慰自己,他们只是感情好,可当我...
    茶点故事阅读 67,999评论 6 393
  • 文/花漫 我一把揭开白布。 她就那样静静地躺着,像睡着了一般。 火红的嫁衣衬着肌肤如雪。 梳的纹丝不乱的头发上,一...
    开封第一讲书人阅读 51,775评论 1 307
  • 那天,我揣着相机与录音,去河边找鬼。 笑死,一个胖子当着我的面吹牛,可吹牛的内容都是我干的。 我是一名探鬼主播,决...
    沈念sama阅读 40,474评论 3 420
  • 文/苍兰香墨 我猛地睁开眼,长吁一口气:“原来是场噩梦啊……” “哼!你这毒妇竟也来了?” 一声冷哼从身侧响起,我...
    开封第一讲书人阅读 39,359评论 0 276
  • 序言:老挝万荣一对情侣失踪,失踪者是张志新(化名)和其女友刘颖,没想到半个月后,有当地人在树林里发现了一具尸体,经...
    沈念sama阅读 45,854评论 1 317
  • 正文 独居荒郊野岭守林人离奇死亡,尸身上长有42处带血的脓包…… 初始之章·张勋 以下内容为张勋视角 年9月15日...
    茶点故事阅读 38,007评论 3 338
  • 正文 我和宋清朗相恋三年,在试婚纱的时候发现自己被绿了。 大学时的朋友给我发了我未婚夫和他白月光在一起吃饭的照片。...
    茶点故事阅读 40,146评论 1 351
  • 序言:一个原本活蹦乱跳的男人离奇死亡,死状恐怖,灵堂内的尸体忽然破棺而出,到底是诈尸还是另有隐情,我是刑警宁泽,带...
    沈念sama阅读 35,826评论 5 346
  • 正文 年R本政府宣布,位于F岛的核电站,受9级特大地震影响,放射性物质发生泄漏。R本人自食恶果不足惜,却给世界环境...
    茶点故事阅读 41,484评论 3 331
  • 文/蒙蒙 一、第九天 我趴在偏房一处隐蔽的房顶上张望。 院中可真热闹,春花似锦、人声如沸。这庄子的主人今日做“春日...
    开封第一讲书人阅读 32,029评论 0 22
  • 文/苍兰香墨 我抬头看了看天上的太阳。三九已至,却和暖如春,着一层夹袄步出监牢的瞬间,已是汗流浃背。 一阵脚步声响...
    开封第一讲书人阅读 33,153评论 1 272
  • 我被黑心中介骗来泰国打工, 没想到刚下飞机就差点儿被人妖公主榨干…… 1. 我叫王不留,地道东北人。 一个月前我还...
    沈念sama阅读 48,420评论 3 373
  • 正文 我出身青楼,却偏偏与公主长得像,于是被迫代替她去往敌国和亲。 传闻我的和亲对象是个残疾皇子,可洞房花烛夜当晚...
    茶点故事阅读 45,107评论 2 356

推荐阅读更多精彩内容