Draft of my first English Humorous Speech at Toastmasters International Chongqing Club

Last week, on the Sun of Beach at Jialin River, just out of this balcony, I met a girl I'll never forget. Her black hair hangs down loosely over shoulders, her eyes spark like stars of midsummer night. When she comes close to me, my whole body trembles, as if I just completed a ice bucket challenge. Huu...

Sounds a lovely story, isn't it?

Except that it is unreal.

But gentlemen, ask yourselves, even if you haven't met such a girl yet, have you ever dreamed of the scenario?

And ladies, have you ever dreamed of a handsome boy, who is neither taller nor thinner than me (of course, without my moustache), who is as strong as Superman, or as smart as Spiderman.

Let's say, one of the lovely girls here, falls down here to Jialing river. You float along the stream, catch a boy down from Chin-sha river at Chaotianmen, and immediately, you two fall in love.

You float down through the Three Gorges together. Wave thunders, sprints, beats the rocks at each side. Mountains high to the heaven. Red autumn leaves decorates the whole hillside. That's the most beautiful moment. You look perfect in each other's eyes, your voice is sweeter than toffee. You believe that you'll stay together till the end of the world. You are Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, Adam picks an apple to Eve and sings: "你是我的小呀小苹果，怎么爱你都不嫌多".

Then the snake appears, asks lots of questions you've never thought of: Do you like sweet or salty tofu? Do you favour spice or not? When you have 1 million dollar, how would you spend it? Do you snore while sleeping? Do you like singing when poo-poo?

You wake up in the midstream, fell very tired. You look at your companion again carefully, who is not attractive anymore. You even notice a piece of cabbage in his teeth. Disgusting...

My dear friends, love is about learning yourself and your mate. it's about finding a travelling companion along the same route. When you fall in love, you become blind, deaf and ignorant. Your lover may be your perfect match, or, your lifelong enemy. Don't fall in love, learn it, wander in it, try it, respect each other's unique personality, you'll find your true love and live happy together, forever.

Thank you.