Usually, a good speech begins with a question. Yes or No? Now i have a question, a very important question :" Hi, guys. Do you love me?" Those girls who said 'Yes', Let's talk in private after the meeting. Those who said 'No', let's talk now.
It is remarkable and a little disheartening to note how often our first reaction to things is “NO”.Why?
Because 'NO' is the most powerful word to be against others' view.Usually after 'NO', we begin to impose our idea on others. This is the point.We always believe i'm special, i'm unique, i should be the most shinning star on this stage, i should be the focus of this world.We always want to become the controller, but never ever a supporter.
One month ago, i had a regular meeting with my team members.We discussed a lot and everyone expressed his idea very actively. And then one member asked:" Edmond, although we don't have any specific customer until now, but this platform is quite useful for future use, so i recommend to implement it right now.." "No!We shouldn't start it. No customer, no platform. Is there any questions?" Silence, long silence.
All participants kept their head down and looked at shoes.The temperature suddenly went from 20 degree to -20.
Every individual is the best of all possible world.We prepare, we propose.But 'NO' destroy everything, not only warm heart, but also warm atmosphere.
'NO' is so painful.
What would happen if we applied 'YES' rather than 'NO' to everything.
Several days later, I played a drama game called "Yes! ". The rule is quite simple. No matter what your fellow actors present to you, instead of negating it, belittling it, or disagreeing with it, your job is to say "Yes".
Show started, and i intended to act as digging a hole.....
'Hi, Edmond, are you drawing a picture?'
'Are you kidding me? I'm digging a hole. Are you stupid? Are you normal?' Of course i did't say it.Not only because he is a strong guy, but also because 'NO' is not allowed in this game. So i did calm down and responded: " YES, see, there's a pen in the hole, Awesome, i have a pen, i can draw. "
"Hey, Edmond, are you dancing?"
"Yes! This is my own style. Dancing,Dancing..."
That was really a special day with a great performance, a lot of fun and a fabulous achievement.
if we say no to others, they will say no to others, which results in a bit confusion. Audiences will not know what you're performing.
How, because no matter who is the focus, other actors said 'YES' to support him.This is the core of this game: Supporting make others shine and a clear story line.The focus may change, but the core will never change.
One stage, one focus. One team, One voice.
This is what we call Team Work.
'YES' is so powerful.
As planned, i had a meeting again with my team members. None of them expressed any idea, but kept silent. Just like now.Fortunately, i already predicted that and had my special strategy, that is
You silent, I silent. Do you remember that i digged a hole? someone will jump into it if we keep waiting. After 3 minutes silence, it worked.
one member asked:" Edmond, balabalabala." Actually i didn't remember what he mentioned, but immediately responded:" Yes, it's a good idea."
'YES' is so amazing that everyone start to participate actively. The temperature went up so...fast.
'YES' is a clear signal that every question is welcome, every thought is appreciated, everyone is respected.
'NO' close the door to have other respective, but 'YES' open the window to learn from others.
'NO' has the magic to hurt others, but 'YES' heal it.
'NO' makes you alone, but 'YES' bring us good relations.
Your kids may request something understandable. Your friends may have different opinions. Your colleague may have stupid proposal.
What's your answer? No,no,no?
Let 'NO' go, let your control go.let your own selfish go.
Letting go means less ego.
Be a supporter.Take our 'Yes', and turn in into reality.It’s such an easy thing to do, with big and unintended returns.
Now again i ask you:" Do you love my speech?"
Back to toastmaster!
