在女儿婚礼上的演讲

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Relatives, friends from China, Japan, South Korean, Canada and from all over the united states, thank you all for coming to this very special event for Allison and Evan。

从中国,日本,韩国,加拿大和全美各地远道而来的亲戚们,朋友们,衷心感谢你们前来参加Allison和Evan的婚礼。

Dear Allison, marriage in one aspect is about name. I remember that very hot summer day in Changsha, your mother suffered a lot in labor.  But at the end of the day, she was so joyful, so happy to hold you in her arm. When she asked me, what should we call you, you are just like the most precious Jade. So, I gave you the name 珺, the queen of Jade. All these years, you have brought us so much joy.

亲爱的女儿, 婚姻在某个方面来说和姓名紧密相关。依然记得长沙的那个炎热的夏日,你的母亲忍受了巨大的生产阵痛生下了你,但当她把你抱在怀里的时候,她是何等的欣喜和幸福。她问我该叫你什么名字。望着你可爱的小脸,觉得你就象一颗价值连城的宝石,我就给你取名贺珺。这些年来你给我们带来了无尽的喜乐和欢欣。
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Dear Allison, from today on you will have a different family name. I cannot help recall that after we came to the US, one day you came back home from school and was not very happy.  You were angry and shouted: “Dad, why do we have to be called He? I am not a He, I am She”.  In School, kids were laughing at you. We laughed too at that time. What could we do about that at that time?  I could only tell you that our name has a great history. The family name started from the very famous old guy fishing with a straight hook more than 3000 years ago. During the history of China, we had kings, ministers, generals, and a famous drunk poet too. Our ancestor first used the name 庆 which means to celebrate. During the Han dynasty, we were ordered to change name because the emperor’s father had 庆 as his first name。Our ancestor decided to use the name 贺 which also means to celebrate.  After we came to the united states, the name 贺 is often called “he”.  Even I explained the history of our family name in great details, you were still troubled by being called “he” from time to time. Today your frustration ends here finally because you will be called Dr. Jun Allison Glickman. As for the 贺 family we will still be called “he” , that is ok because today the 贺 family is celebrating once again in joint with the Glickman family.

亲爱的女儿,从今天开始你将会拥有一个新的姓。不禁想起初到美国的岁月,有一天你从学校回家,脸上一脸的不悦,大声地对我说 ”爸爸,为什么我们要姓他(He)啊!我可不是一位他(He),我可是一位她(She)啊”. 原来学校里有同学取笑你的姓。当时我和你媽也忍不住笑了。在那会儿我们能做什么呢?我唯一能做的只是给你讲讲贺氏家族的辉煌历史。贺姓源出那位著名的姜太公。在浩瀚的中国历史里,贺氏名人辈出,有过王候将相,还有一位著名的醉仙诗人。起初先袓从姜氏分支以庆为姓,乃庆贺之意。东汉年间因皇帝的父亲叫刘庆,先祖被迫改姓意义相近的贺。来美以后贺氏常常被叫做他(He)了。虽然我费尽口舌,还是无法消除因姓He常被人嘲笑给你心里带来的懊恼。你的懊恼今天终于可以结束了,因为你将被称为Allison Glickman 博士。至于我们贺家的人,我们还会被称为他(He). 但我们并不在意,因为今天贺家要和Glickman家一同庆贺。
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Dear Allison when you decided to go to Boston, I was not very happy at all. I do not understand why you have to go so far away from us? I was hoping you could go to UCSD. But I have to let you go. It was the right decision.  Because it was your destiny to meet Evan there.  I first met Evan very informally. It was a winter vacation.  your mother and I drove to meet Evan in LA.  Your mother liked Evan at the first sight because Evan is so tall and handsome. I however had some hesitation: “He looked like a 嘴上无毛的 young man. Is he mature enough to date?”  I was told later that very day he did a thorough facial cleaning and shaving under the suggestion of JJ. When I officially met him at the graduation in 2011 and saw his beautiful moustache and beard, I dropped all my reservation. He was such a handsome young man. We knew how smart he is because you always talked about him every vacation when you came back to San Diego.

亲爱的女儿,当你决定要去波士顿读大学的时候,我很不高兴。我希望你去附近的学校UCSD(加州大学圣地亚哥分校). 但是我不得不同意你远走高飞,因为你命中注定要在那里遇到Evan。我初识Evan是在一个寒假,我和你妈妈开车送你去落杉矶和Evan会合。你母亲第一眼就喜欢上了Evan,因为他太帅了。但我还有点犹豫。我想这是一位嘴上无毛的年轻人,他有足够成熟稳重吗?直到2011年在毕业典礼上见到他漂亮的络腮胡子,我就放下了所有的保留。他简直帅呆了。我们也知道他是一位聪慧过人的男孩。
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Dear Allison and Evan, as the two of you get ready to start this new Journey together, I would like to share some traditional wisdoms from the Chinese culture.

亲爱的Allison和Evan在你们即将共同开启人生的崭新旅程之际,我想借此机会和你们分享一些中国文化里的传统智慧。
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The first phrase I would like to share are these 2 characters: 伴侣 which means soul mate in Chinese. The structures of these 2 characters demonstrated graphically vividly what soul mates should really be. The first character 伴 is composed of two parts: the left part means a person; the right part means a half. This character is telling us one person is only a half. In marriage the mathematics is 1/2 + 1/2 = 1; Two half soul mates make a unity. The second character 侣 is also composed of two parts: again, the left part is a person, the right part is composed of two mouths. Why do we have two mouths here? The answer lies with the purposes of our mouths?  First, our mouths are for eating and drinking. In ancient time, food and drink were most important goods in life. Sharing is essential. The two mouths here mean: one mouthful for each person. Secondly, our mouths are for talking and speaking. The character tells us soul mates need to share and communicate.

首先我要和你们分享一下“伴侣”这两个字。这两个字从结构上生动形象地体现了真正的灵魂伴侣应该是怎样的。伴这个字由两部分组成。左边是一个人字旁,右边是个半字。这个字告诉我们婚姻里每个人只是一半。婚姻里的数学乃是1/2 + 1/2 = 1. 侣这个字也是由两部分组成。同样左边也是一个人字旁,右边却是两个口。为什么会是两个口呢?答案在口的功能中可以找到。人口的第一个功能是吃喝。在古代,食物是非常稀缺的,家庭成员之间彼此分享十分重要。所以伴侣之间第一是要分享。人口的第二个功能是说话。所以这两个口字在说伴侣之间应该保持交流和沟通。

Another idiom I would like to share is 百年好合. 百年 means one hundred years, 好合 means in harmony. In weddings, new couples sometimes pledge love forever to each other. Our ancestor knew forever is far too long and impossible. So, they made a huge reduction. the command was to be in harmony for only one hundred years. Dear Allison and Evan, I have the confident that the two of you will be able to commit to it.

其次我要分享一下 "百年好合" 这个成語。婚礼上有时候新人会发誓永远相爱。永远太远。我们的先祖把这个时间缩减到一百年。这里的命令只是百年好合。亲爱的Allison 和 Evan,我对你们满怀信心,相信你们能够做到。
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The last idiom, I would like to share is 相敬如宾. 相敬 means mutual respect; 如宾 means like VIPs.  Our ancestor not only gave you the command to be in harmony for one hundred years, they also provided a strategy which is: to treat each other like VIPs; to put the other half above yourself.

最后我想分享一下“相敬如宾” 这个成语。祖先们给了一个百年好合的命令,同时也给了一个简单的策略,那就是相敬如宾,把对方当作你的VIP,把对方放在自己之上。


The impact of treating each other like VIPs is far reaching, not just limited between the two of you. There is an interesting story about how the idiom got started. More than 2000 years ago, during the spring and autumn ages, there was a person whose name was 却缺. His family was demoted and had to leave the capital of the 晋 state. They moved to the rural area to work in the field as farmers.  Mr. 却缺 and his wife did not lose their manner with the ups and downs in their life.  One day Mr. 却缺 was working in the field, his wife brought lunch to him. She knelt and thanked Mr. 却缺 for his hard work, and Mr. 却缺 thanked back to his wife in a respectful manner. They enjoyed a simple lunch together happily. All these practices were watched by a minister named 胥臣 of the state who was accidentally passing by. The minister 胥臣 was touched by what he saw about this couple. When he returned to the capital, he recommended 却缺 to the king of 晋.  Mr. 却缺 was appointed a government position and later promoted to high ranking. The story tells us that treating each other like VIPs can make yourself a VIP too. It will have an impact far beyond the two of you.

相敬如宾影响深远,远超二人世界。关于这个成语是如何开始的,有一个有趣的故事。故事发生在2000多年前春秋时代的晋国。却缺的父亲犯罪被杀,全家被贬,不得不离开晋都去乡下务农。却缺和他夫人沒有因为境遇而丧失他们的品质,一直彼此相敬如宾。有一天却缺在田间劳作,他的妻子给他送饭到田边,跪下来深情感谢却缺为家辛勤劳作。却缺也深情回谢。这一切被正好路过的晋国官员胥臣看到。胥臣很是诧异这对村野农夫竟有如此教养。回到京城,胥臣就向晋王推荐却缺。却缺被任命为政府公务员,并很快得到提升。这个故事的启发是把对方当作VIP,你自己不知不觉也会成为一个VIP,影响深远宽广。


Dear Allison and Evan, these are the characters and idioms I shared with you. Keep them in heart and ponder upon them often and most importantly practice them every day.

亲爱的Allison 和 Evan, 我和你们分享的这些字和成语当牢记于心,时常思想,最重要的是在每日的生活中付之实践。

Now ladies and gentleman, please raise up your glass to this happy couple: for their one hundred years in harmony.

女士们先生们,现在让我们为这对幸福新人的百年好合举杯庆贺!
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