Grandpa Stan讲述自己年轻时候的失恋经历：
-Her name was Carla McCorkle. Carla “HOT PANTS” McCorkle.
-Me and Carla baby cut a rug (摇摆舞) together at the juke joint,our favorite 50's themed 1970s diner.
-Then one day, this new aged tree-hugger （嬉皮士）starts playing this transcendental hippie music.Carla's hot pants turned into bell-bottom （喇叭裤）before I even knew what happened. -My memories get a little hallucination at the end, but you get the gist.
Grandpa Stan讲述自己变坚强强壮的成长经历
He is a loser ,He is weak,I just want to get rid of it.yeah, those are all things people said about me when I was a boy.It was terrible.I was the biggest wimp on the playground.So one summer my pop signs me up for boxing lessons.
And it was even worse than the schoolyard ! You know, at the time,I thought my pop was trying to torture me.But wouldn't you know it?The old man was doing me a favor all along.So you see,That's why I'm hard on Dipper.To toughen him up.So when the world fights,He fights back.
/Do you think it's actually working? He's really coming along.When push comes to shove,I'm actually proud of him/
stan 兄弟
It all started a lifetime ago,1960-something. Glass shard Beach,New Jersey.I lived with my ma and pa in the lead paint district above the family pawn shop.祖传典当行
Dad was strict man, tough as a cinder block 面如铁石 and not easily impressed.难以取悦
Mom was a pathological liar, which served her well as a phone psychic.电话媒灵
And then, there was my nerdy twin brother Stanford. As if his abnormal high IQ wasn't enough, he also had a rare birth defect ----six fingers on each hand, which might have explained his obsession with sci-fi mystery weirdness.
As for me,I had what my mom liked to call"personality". But as different as we were, we were the perfect team.and every day we'd wander the beach, looking for adventure.
-A shipwrecked sailboat possibly haunted by pirates ghosts.失事的船骸
This is the greatest thing I've ever seen.And once I saw a dead rat floating in a bucket.
Those were good times, those bullies may have been right about us not making many friends, but when push comes to shove节骨眼上, you only really need one.Ford's brain seemed to get more impressive every year.so did our pet project.Sure I got in more than my fair share of trouble.But when you brother's the smartest kid in school, you've always get a leg up on the competition.The future was looking bright for both of us till one day.
I'v lost him.I didn't know If he was dead or alive in some distant galaxy.But I know his journal must have answer to getting him back somehow.I didn't get much sleep that night or after that.I tried for weeks to turn that dumb machine back on.But without the other two journals it was hopeless.Finally I ran out of food,I had no choice but go into town...
So I came up with a plan,I couldn't leave my brothers house until I figure out how to save him.But I needed to pay his mortgage .
For once in my life, people were actually buying what I I was selling.And soothe murder hut was born.Later named the Mystery Shack.Finally I'd found something I really good at. being a liar and a cheat paid off.
脆莓公园
It was 15 years ago ,I was your average ,everyday little girl.
I wanted to please my mother so much.She just ignored me and my hankering for hoo haa until she could n't any more.
My father and the church members made a gay curing machine.They called it the homo eradicater. When it didn't work, my parents disowned me.
They bought a st.Bernard named it Connie and photoshopped me out of all the family pictures.I never spoke to them again.
秃顶的烦恼
You don't understand what it's like to be bald!
I've been dealing with this problem for most of my adult life.
Cruelly,the day I gained hair in one area I lost it in another.I tried to hide my secret shame, but sooner or later I would be exposed.
The cruelest blow came on prom night.Stacy agreed to go with me if I did her homework for the semester.Thanks to me, she got to go to high school an extra year....
-Must be hard to process sarcasm with that shitty chrome dome.
Connie,I spent the last ten years here cultivating an image of the coolest guy in the park, an object of desire for women and confused animals.But now I've been exposed,I need find some place I can be popular again
