巧者劳而智者忧

单身者无所求

饱食而遨游

泛若不系之舟

———《庄子·乱编》

We are the generation who doesn’t want a relationship.

我们是不想要进入“关系”的一代人。

We want a second coffee cup in our Instagrams of lazy Saturday mornings, another pair of shoes in our artsy pictures of our feet.

We want a Facebook official relationship every one can like and comment on, we want the social media post that wins #relationshipgoals.

We want a date for Sunday morning brunch, a Taco Tuesday partner, someone to text us good morning on Wednesday.

We want a plus one for all the weddings we keep getting invited to (how did they do it? How did they find their happily ever after?).

我们想要懒洋洋的周六早晨两人一起享用咖啡，想要拍照的相框里有另一个人；

我们想要在Facebook上人人都能看到的情侣关系，想要在社交网络上完成各种亲密关系测试；

我们想要周日能有人一起懒洋洋地吃顿早午餐，周二一起吃墨西哥卷饼，周三的时候有人短信说早安；

我们想要在收到所有婚礼邀请的时候能够有人陪伴同去（讲真，那些结婚的人是怎么做到的？）

We read 5 Ways to Know He’s Into You and 7 Ways to Get Her to Fall For You, in hopes of being able to upcycle a person into a relationship like a Pinterest project.

We invest more time in our Tinder profiles than our personalities.

We “talk” and we text, we Snapchat and we sext.

We hangout and we happy hour, we go to coffee and grab a beer.

我们读 《让他爱上你的5个方法》、《7个小技巧找到女朋友》，希望能像完成一个Pinterest项目那样让一个人为自己倾心；

我们在Tinder上花费的时间比自我投资的时间多的多；

我们看起来在讲话在聊天，我们彼此在传照片讲一些色色的笑话；

我们一起出去玩去喝咖啡喝啤酒。

Yet we don’t want a relationship.

但我们还是不想要进入“关系”。

We want the façade of a relationship, but we don’t want the work of a relationship.

We want the pretty promise without the actual commitment, the anniversaries to celebrate without the 365 days of work that leads up to them.

We want the happily ever after, but we don’t want to put the effort in the here and now.

We want someone to hold our hand, but we don’t want to put the power to hurt us in their hands.

我们想要一段关系的光鲜外表，但是不想为这段关系付出；

我们喜欢甜言蜜语但不在意真心承诺，喜欢周年纪念但并不想要平淡的365天；

我们希望能从此幸福地生活下去，但是不想持续地投入。

我们希望有人能牵着我们的手，但是又不希望而因此给予这个人伤害自己的能力；

We want the deep connection, while keeping things shallow.

我们看起来似乎想要深刻的连接，但是总是无可避免地将事情变得浅薄。

We want to connect – enough, but not too much.

We want to commit – a little, but not a lot.

We take it slow: we see where it goes, we don’t label things, we just hang out.

When things get too close to being real, we run. We hide. We leave.

We keep one foot out the door, we keep one eye open, and we keep people at arm’s length - toying with their emotions but most of all toying with our own.

我们希望能彼此连接，但不要太深；

我们希望能彼此承诺，但不用太多；

我们在关系中进展缓慢：我们看着它发展，但并不定义它，我们只是一起出去玩；

当事情发展的越来越真实的时候，我们就会跑走、躲开、离开这个人；

我们对这段关系睁一只眼闭一只眼，和对方保持一定的距离。看起来像是在玩弄他人的感情，其实更多时候却反被自噬。

We want anything that will give us the illusion of a relationship, without being in an actual relationship.

我们想要的只是身处一段关系中的幻觉，而非一段真实的关系。

We like the idea of loving someone despite their flaws; yet we keep our skeletons locked in the closet, happy to never let them see the light of day. We feel entitled to love, like we feel entitled to full time jobs out of college. Our over-watched Disney VHSs taught us true love, soul mates, and happily ever after exist for everyone. And so we put in no effort, and wonder why our prince charming hasn’t appeared. We sit around, upset that our princess is no where to be found. Where is our consolation prize? We showed up, we’re here. Where’s the relationship we deserve? The true love we’ve been promised?

我们喜欢所谓爱一个人无论他有什么缺点的理论，但是我们却把真实的自己锁在心底，从不释放。我们觉得需要去爱，就像毕业之后需要去工作一样自然。我们看的迪斯尼的那些动画片告诉我们每个人都可以拥有真爱、灵魂伴侣以及从此以后的幸福生活。于是我们一边把这一切看做理所当然的事情，一边焦虑着真命天子怎么还没有到来。我们就呆坐在那里，内心沮丧这个世界上根本找不到白马王子。说好的安慰奖呢？生而为人存在于世，那个完美的恋人那段完美的关系在哪儿呢？

We want a placeholder, not a person. We want a warm body, not a partner.

We want someone to sit on the couch next to us, as we aimlessly scroll through another newsfeed, open another app to distract us from our lives.

We want to walk this middle line: pretending we don’t have emotions while wearing our heart on our sleeve, wanting to be needed by someone yet not wanting to need someone.

We play hard to get just to test if someone will play hard enough – we don’t even fully understand it ourselves.

We sit around with friends discussing the rules, but no one even knows the game we’re trying to play.

我们只需要一个占位符，而不是一个真人；我们只需要肉体，不需要伴侣；

我们滑动手指百无聊赖地查看社交网络上的更新好让自己脱离现实生活好过一点的时候，又希望旁边的沙发上有人陪着自己；

我们在两处游走：一边假装自己内心冰冷毫无情绪不需要任何人，一边又毫不掩饰地跟全世界呐喊着我需要被需要。

The problem with our generation not wanting relationships is that, at the end of the day, we actually do.

我们这不想要关系的一代人的真正悲哀在于，到最后，我们其实还是想要。

并不完全同意的Seed君想说：

被爱的人是幸福的，去爱的人是勇敢的。

而那些选择不想要关系的人，有他们自己更看重的东西。

任何选择都有结果，也有代价，只能说是各得其所。

From | HuffingtonPost