文章预告：
为什么要面对恐惧？
对于个人来说，只有在出于积极情绪中，才能发挥自己最大的潜力。对于集体（公司，企业）来说，只有员工都出于积极情绪中， 这个集体才能发挥自己的最大优势。很多人可能在上学时候都有这样的经历，自己做题目的时候，头脑很清晰，但是被老师提问的时候，就大脑一片空白。这就是恐惧紧张等负面情绪占据了我们的大脑抑制了我们的思考。
我们也可以回想一下，有多少机会是我们在恐惧的操纵下错失的？ 因为害怕被拒绝而放弃的表白，因为害怕得不到而没有提出的晋升，因为害怕失败而被一再搁置的梦想。
试想一下，若是，我们能够正式恐惧，学会面对它，和它相处，我们的人生会变得多么轻松，自由？我们也因此能够发挥自己最大的潜力，实现自己的理想。
In order to perform at our best we must access pleasant and positive emotions: enjoyment, challenge, adventure and opportunity. Emotions that arise out of threat or deficit - fear, frustration anger, sadness - have a decidedly toxic feel to them and are associated with the release of specific stress hormones, most notably cortisol. <The Power of Full Engagement>
If we are prompting fear, anger and defensiveness in others, we progressively undermine their ability to perform effectively.
- chronic negative emotions - most especially anger and depression - have also been correlated with a broad range of disorders and diseases ranging from back pain and headaches to heart disease and cancer.
- Doubts, fears, pessimism, and negative thinking poison the very source of life. They sap energy, enthusiasm, ambition, hope faith and everything else which makes life purposeful, joyful and creative. <The Power of Full Engagement>
恐惧是什么？
世界上本来没有好坏，积极情绪和消极情绪，生活中发生的事件，环境的改变都是中性的，而我们有倾向性的大脑使得外界的事件变得让我们热爱或者恐惧。所以，恐惧只是我们的一种情绪状态。表面上看，我们是恐惧某件事情，某种结果。其实，根本是我们的一种思维情绪的习惯。同样的事情，对于一个人来说是他最恐惧害怕的，而对于另外一个人来说并不害怕。 因而，意识到恐惧只是发生在我们大脑中的事情可能帮助我们更好地面对它。
Fears are nothing more than states of mind. -- Napoleon Hill <Think and Grow Rich>
Indecision is the seedling of fear! Indecision crystalizes into doubt, the two blend and become fear! -- Napoleon Hill <Think and Grow Rich>
人们的恐惧可以总结为这六类：
- 对贫穷的恐惧 (这里不仅仅指金钱，也是精神上的贫瘠）
- 对批评的恐惧
- 对疾病的恐惧
- 对失去别人的爱的恐惧
- 对衰老的恐惧
- 对死亡的恐惧
The six basic fears become translated into a state of worry, through indecision. Relieve yourself, forever of the fear of death, by reaching a decision to accept death as an inescapable event. Whip the fear of poverty by reaching a decision to get along with whatever wealth you can accumulate without worry. Put your foot upon the neck of the fear of criticism by reaching a decision not to worry about what other people think, do, or say. Eliminate the fear of old age by reaching a decision to accept it, not as a handicap, but as a great blessing which carries with it wisdom, self-control, and understanding not known to youth. Acquit yourself of the fear of ill health by the decision to forget symptoms. Master the fear of loss of love by reaching a decision to get along without love, if that is necessary. -- Napoleon Hill <Think and Grow Rich>
恐惧的原因
按照Ray Dalio的理论，人生就是一次一次向着自己的目标前进的过程。每一次达成一个目标后，我们当下的思维模式和能力帮助我们达到现有的目标，这是处在我们的舒适圈。而当我们迈向下一个目标的时候，因为目标变了，与之匹配的思维模式和能力也需要随之改变。这个时候是我们身体大脑不稳定的阶段，我们会犯错，我们会感到痛苦恐惧。但是，只要我们理性地看待错误，痛苦，恐惧，继续朝着我们的目标前进。我们又逐渐适应，达到之前的状态。而这个努力的过程，就是我们的成长过程。因而每一次成长都伴随着不适，恐惧，痛苦，挫折。倘若我们了解并适应这个过程，知道如何面对这些负面情绪，我们最终会达到理想的自由状态。
- Conflict: Before we cover this state, it is important to understand that the ideas you are emotionally involved with control the vibration you are in. Vibration on a conscious level is referred to as feeling. Although the results you are getting are what you do not want, you feel comfortable in the vibration you are in because you have been living with it every day, perhaps most of your life. In this stage, you act on and become emotionally involved with the Y idea. The moment the Y type idea is impressed on the X-type conditioning, the electrical system in your body goes haywire, and you are in an XY vibration. Worry, fear, and anxiety strike on a physical level.
- All three hit so fast and with such impact the result is your mind is in a terrible state because the new Y idea is driving you ahead and X idea is driving you back. The conflict is unbearable. You’re too scared to go ahead, you don’t want to go back, and you can’t stay where you are.
- Going ahead is the only way your life will improve. However, a lack of understanding of exactly what is taking place inside causes you to retreat to familiar territory. You may quickly bounce off the terror barrier all the way back to bondage and then rationalize to yourself why that is a good place to be. It’s comfortable… you are familiar with it… it’s good enough.
- The doubt, fear, and worry that you experience when stepping out of your comfort zone may cause you to do what most people do: retreat to what you perceive as safety. Unfortunately, that’s the most dangerous place you could live because there is no growth. And where there is no growth, there is disintegration.
- Freedom: Understanding permits you to step forward into growth and freedom. The doubt, fear, and anxiety have not left; however, through knowledge or study, you know if you persist it will leave. By continually getting involved with the Y idea and acting on it—despite the fear—over a relatively short period the conditioning changes and you are living in a new reality. You have two choices…The doubt, fear, and worry that you experience when stepping out of your comfort zone may cause you to do what most people do: retreat to what you perceive as safety. Unfortunately, that’s the most dangerous place you could live because there is no growth. And where there is no growth, there is disintegration. -- Sandy Gallager <How to Break Through the Terror Barrier >
Fear is the main driving force, because it's how our ancestors survived long enough to pass on their genes to us. And to the ancient part of us, anything new and unmapped represents danger. Therefore you'll notice your unconscious faculties, your body consciousness, may begin to freak out when your manifestation is close. It can sense energy and it an sense when someone or something is close to arriving. When our primal self feels threatened or potentially unsafe, you'll notice hysteria, stress, illogical worry, irrational eruptions of emotions. Thisis resistance to change. Know that when you experience this type of a reaction it's a sign that your body and primal unconscious self is sensing your manifestation on the way.
For best results, meditate, work to calm yourself and help this part of you feel safe.
如何面对恐惧？
首先要意识到自己当下的状态是被爱还是被恐惧支配。 有恐惧的情绪不可怕，甚至是无法避免。但是，如果我们的行动是被恐惧支配，那么就会对我们的生活产生负面影响。面对恐惧和面对焦虑相似。
1. 意识提升
最主要的是通过affirmation，meditation来改变自己的固定思维模式提升自己的意识状态， 使得我们对生活中不确定以及风险的接受度更大，对自己更有信心。
2. 理性分析
把恐惧的事情一件一件拆分并写在纸上。就能知道，我们可能潜意识中创造的可怕事件实际微不足道。或者那个恐惧来源于我们的童年阴影或者是从前不愉快的经历。比如，当一个人曾经被拒绝过一次，当他再遇到一个喜欢的人，他可能没有勇气去行动，去表白。因为他过去的失望经历占据了他的大脑。但是理性思考，过去的他和现在的他不同，过去的他喜欢的人和现在他喜欢的人也不同。又有什么理由用过去的经历来预测将来可能会被拒绝的结果呢？如果他行动，走向他心中喜欢的人，那么他实现目标获得幸福的可能性至少是50%。 如果他因为恐惧而不行动，那么他获得幸福的可能性只有0。
3. Fear it but do it anyway
我们可能羡慕常常登上新闻头条的企业家的勇气和承担风险的能力。其实，他们和普通人面对恐惧的时候的感受并没有太多不同。只是他们选择直视恐惧，而不是逃避它。
“I think they would agree with me that their real advantages come from knowing how to deal with what they don’t know more than anything they know,” Dalio said of Musk and Gates in the interview.
“A shaper is someone who comes up with unique and valuable visions and builds them out beautifully, typically over the doubts and opposition of others,” Dalio writes his book “Principles: Life and Work.” Apple’s Steve Jobs was the most iconic shaper, he says.
Stop thinking about what it is you fear. Each time a fearful or negative thought comes into your conscious mind, replace it with a mental picture of your positive and worthwhile goal. I want to exhort you, therefore, to resolve to change your habitual pattern of thinking now. and remember, the stream of plenty always flows towards the open, expectant mind. Whenever you did reach a desired goal, you not only desired that goal but you actually expected to attain it as well. desire without expectation is nothing more than wishful thinking your ideal, dream or goal - this wealth you wish to see materialize - can only become a desire once it has been properly planted in the subconscious mind. However, once your desire has been firmly established, it is the expectant attitude which ensures that your goal or dream is not uprooted or replaced by any opposing or competing ideas.One key is to decide not affected by outside circumstances and only think about what you want and desire do not think logic if its attainable. Kill the habit of worry, in all its forms, by reaching a general, blanket decision that nothing which life has to offer is worth the price of worry. With this decision will come poise, peace of mind, and calmness of thought which will bring happiness. -Bob Proctor
Risk-takers are knowledgeable people who study situations carefully, have confidence in their own abilities and have a very healthy self-image. For the person who analyzes a situation carefully, prepares himself accordingly and then proceeds in the face of fear with the image of success in mind, is a genuine risk-taker. Furthermore, as you are already aware, risk-takers very rarely lose; and even when they do, they usually bounce right back to try again. In other words, risk-takers live exciting, creative lives, because they are living the kind of life that we are all intended to live. - Bob Proctor <You are Born Rich>
“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” Eleanor Roosevelt
Vulnerability is not knowing victory or defeat, it's understanding the necessity of both; it's engaging.It's being all in. Vulnerability is not weakness, and the uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure we face every day are not optional. Our only choice is a question of engagement. Our willingness to own and engage with our vulnerability determines the depth of our courage and the clarity of our purpose; the level to which we protect ourselves from being vulnerable is a measure of our fear and disconnection. When we spend our lives waiting until we're perfect or bullet proof before we walk into the arena, we ultimately sacrifice relationships and opportunities that may not be recoverable, we squander our precious time, and we turn our back on our fists, those unique contributions that only we can make. Perfect and bullet proof are seductive, but they don't exist in the human experience. We must walk into the arena, whatever it may be - a new relationship, an important meeting, our creative process, or a difficult family conversation - with courage and the willingness to engage. Rather than sitting on the sidelines and hurling judgment and advice, we must dare to show up and let ourselves be seen. This is vulnerability. This is daring greatly. <Daring greatly>
4. 调整自己的注意力
没有任何东西有绝对大小。我们在大脑中投入更多（时间乘以行动乘以情感强度）， 我们对这种情绪的体验变得越大。如果我们一直把自己的注意力放在让自己恐惧的事情上，那么这个恐惧感会因为我们的关注而变得越来越强烈。反之，如果我们把自己的觉知放在体验快乐，灵感和创造上，我们会对这些积极的体验更敏感，而忘记让我们恐惧的事情。因此，减少对恐惧的关注，而对灵感，兴奋，创造和娱乐更多地采取行动，会使那些事情变得更明显，而相对论则使那些恐惧的事情变得更小，更微不足道。
