It is said that this generation of parents is the most anxious in China's history. Years ago, parents did not need to buy property near key schools, neither did they spend such a large amount of money and time on children's after-class study as today's parents. With the decreasing rate of birth and increasing educational resources, children in the future may face less competition on schooling and parents will be less anxious.
Life is like a long journey, and who laughs last laughs best. We all know that, but often forget it when we raise children. We prefer praising their results to praising their efforts. We often say, honey, you are so clever. We seldom say, darling, you are so hardy and persistent. We hurry to see their success, and are not patient enough to see their growth. When they fall behind, when they don't rank front in their class, we are overcome by anxiety.
Then, do we ever think out our aim of education and our expectations about our children? To get high grades in examinations? To get a good job after graduation? Or to be an independent, adaptable, and positive person?
In Professor Dweck's speech, she introduced us two kinds of mindsets, one is fixed mindset, and the other growth mindset. Those who have fixed mindsets love to stay in the comfort zone, and tend to run from difficulties. But those who have growth mindsets believe their abilities could be developed, and they ambrace challenges. According to the scientific researches, the neurons in the brain of of the latter can form newer and stronger connections than the former, and overtime the latter will become smarter.
So, if our children fail this time, don't label them "faiure". Instead, we can tell them that they just don't pass yet. We should learn to praise their efforts and persistence instead of their intelligence or talent.
Believe in the Power of Yet, see and encourage the growth of our children. Then, we may become less anxious.
(Click here to watch the speech: https://mp.weixin.qq.com/s/vi14vFDXon047hNF2wM_hw)
