With the right justifications made, we started to see each other and hang out. He took me to authentic Chinese restaurants near the area and sometimes with his one best friend Y. Y was his cousin who moved to Nairobi and now working for his family. They grew up together. Like many other Chinese businessmen that ventured overseas, there weren’t many choices so hard-working and a canny way of approach had established them good business. 

I remembered he had chosen a place for Sichuan hotpot. “You’d love it, it’s spicy and authentic.” He was trying to change my mind after my initial refusal. He knew that I was from Sichuan, the spice town of China. And he was right. I went that night in the end, with the expectation that it would be like a date and I would have to find a way to make it like just between friends. And then I saw Y. He made the introduction, and the night went in a casual and friendly environment where three of us just chatted about anything here in Africa and back in China. Z held the situation just right, as neither I nor he was a talker. Sitting on the balcony of a fine restaurant that had my home style food, and with the dry hot African air mixed with the humid steam coming out of the hotpot, I feel tranquil. All the initial worries and anxieties of awkwardness in front of Y were all scattered away. It was that moment Z’s calmness and confidence and his chill approach of life had made an impression on me.

Our open relationship lasted a little over a month. “You’d delete me on WeChat, when you get back to Canada.” Z told me while he was driving, “I would know this.” “No I would not. I never made myself in the position object to anyone. I don’t easily unlike a person and deleting someone from social media was just naïve.” Z did not refute me. And ironically, I deleted him right after we said goodbye, at the end of the Ethiopia trip, when he was on the plane back to Nairobi and I were about to stay few days longer with a girlfriend of mine. He predicted my behavior and action, and possibly my course of thinking even before I was aware myself.

Sorry I was jumping forward with my story. After constantly chatting with him on WeChat, and a few gatherings with friends, one day, I told him I couldn’t go out have dinner because I just took out my wisdom teeth and there was inflammation in my whole mouth, I could barely eat. He then proposed to come and see me, I didn’t answer. Then he asked again where I live, I gave him the address. 2 hours later, he came to my house with packed foods that was good and easy to eat.

“I’m sorry it took so long” he apologized as he was unwrapping the plastic bags, “I was stuck in the traffic for at an hour; now start eating before it gets cold.” He then unpacked the food boxes and handed me a pair of chopsticks.And I just stand there stunned. Another time I was having crams in my belly, he would buy ginger and brown sugar, slice the ginger neatly and boil me a warm sweet ginger super. But I know, it was all the tricks to get girls. He was a cheater, a skunk, flirting around while his girlfriend was gone. All the while I talked to myself this way, I was enjoying the comfort he has brought to me:bringing me food whenever I want, taking me out to nice restaurants and interesting places, telling me the stories of his growing up.

So it naturally happened that we became lovers. He finally asked me if he could stay at my house the night as the road back home “was too long and he was too tired”, as so he would put it. I did not say yes, and neither did I say no. With a triumphant smile on his face, he kissed me half-forced himself in me. My mind was rejecting, but my body wants comfort and caress from another body.

The next month we still see each other often and he continued to come to my place and bring me with foods and presents. “You thought I’d disappear wouldn’t you.” Spotted out the insecurities on my face, he once asked. “I won’t leave, I like talking to you.”