February 16 2019
Two people, two stories。
The first story。
There was a man who asked me to do a personality test。After I finished the test,He helped me interpret the test results。People like you, he says, are very enthusiastic And sensitive。But people may misunderstand you，they don't know how to get along with you,Because you have a lot of inner thoughts, so they will feel that you are particularly hypocritical。
This story makes me feel comfortable because I get what I want from it,The communication between me and him made me feel accepted.He did not use a moral standard to measure my character, and then said that my character is good, or bad.He objectively described the behavior of people with this personality in their daily lives.
Besides being accepted, I have a feeling of being understood,I feel that my actions have finally been understood, that I am no longer misunderstood, that Someone can understand the psychological mechanism behind my actions.I don't have to worry about being accused or misunderstood and It makes me feel very relaxed.
The conversation between us made me feel respected,Because he said,When dealing with people like you, People should be careful what they say and do,Because you'll think too much.
In the end, I feel like I'm being trusted, not being considered unfriendly or bad, but being treated like a good person。I feel like I'm being treated like a nice, respectful, trustworthy Good man。
2019年1月23日。
暴力的沟通形式之一进行比较。
学完功非暴力沟通之后，我觉得自己有很多暴力沟通的成分。比如说，我会把周围的人和一个标杆进行比较和自己心中的标准进行比较，如果他们不符合自己的标准和我心目中的标杆有一定的距离，那么。我就觉得他们好像有些不好。我心中有很多应该这些应该是我对其他人的要求是。期待别人打道德标准，如果他们不能够达到这个标准，就认为他们不够好会有一点否定他们。我觉得。我可以不去。进行比较，而只关注于自己的需求。
这样的话不进行比较就不会对别人进行评判。就避免了很多的主观的自大。这样更能接近自己的内心。而不是以他人为中心，也不是你自己。敌人为中心。把能力转移到自己的影响圈上面去。而不是关注于别人的对错，是非像一个法官一样在评判着别人的行为举止或者期望自己生行。期望自己成为一个上帝一样，可以对别人进行审判和惩罚。关注了自己的需求就从法官和上帝的角色变成了真的自己。做好自己成为自己不需要扮演法官和上帝。
