1.
又见到一个对话，有个观点再次遇见:
never say you have to do anything.
不要说自己必须去做什么事，而没有选择。
对话是学生向作者请假说自己必须去参加一个tennis trip，就不能去上他的课了。
作者反问他“You have to go, or you choose to go? ”
经过一番询问和回答，作者发现了他的学生这一行为的原因，如果学生不去参加这次tennis trip就会被逐出队伍，而他不想这样的social consequence发生，与不上课的natural consequence（he guesses he will miss the learning）相比，前者的损失对他影响更大。
便有了作者的分析:
You have to weigh that consequence against the other consequence and make a choice.
最后学生也向作者坦诚了这是自己的一个choose，非something he has to do。
通过这个对话从前到后的语言描述不同，反映的心态也不一样，这大概是前文提及的“act or be acted upon”——主动还是被动行动。
也要学会listening to our language，是reactivate language还是proactive language，后者比前者更能体现一种自主性，为自己负责，为自己解决问题。我们需要有这种responsibility。
2.
还有一段话，大约是第三次看见了，还是想记录下来。
—The feeling of love just isn't there.
—If the feeling isn't there, that's a good reason to love her.
—But how do you love when you don't love?
—My friend, love is a verb. Love——the feeling——is a fruit of love, the verb. So love her. Serve her. Sacrifice. Listen to her. Empathize. Appreciate. Affirm her. Are you willing to do that?
3.
这段话也值得仔细体会:
Proactive people make love a verb. Love is something you do: the sacrifices you make, the giving of self, like a mother bringing a newborn into the world. If you want to study love, study those who sacrifice for others, even for people who offend or do not love in return. If you are a parent, look at the love you have for the children you sacrifice for. Love is a value that is actualized through loving actions. Proactive people subordinate feelings to values. Love, the feeling, can be recaptured.
这描写的，我觉得像是高级的“爱”了——“恒爱”。如果拓展一下爱的对象，对于工作，或者我们所做的事，要是能这样去“爱”，应当也是没有什么事不能做，没有什么事不能做得尽善尽美吧。
这种“爱”的能力，需要少一些观点、偏见，不设限，就单纯的去做事，去奉献吧。要能逐渐像这样趋近，也是值得过的人生呐。
