TED-001 世界最丑女人的演讲:如何定义你自己

分类:心理

时间:2019-08-27

片长:13:10

演讲者:Lizzie Velasquez 丽兹·维拉斯奎兹,身高1米57,体重约27公斤,右眼发蓝且已失明,另一只眼睛是棕色的。“零脂肪女孩”,她的身体无法储存脂肪,要吃60顿饭,她的怪病全球只有三例,她被称为“骷髅女孩”……而她的生活本身就是一场华丽的逆袭!你有选择快乐的权利。

图文源于@TED博物馆

Hello, everybody.

I want you to do something with me really quick. I want you to all think in your head, remember the time -- because I know every single one of you in here have done this -- when you're procrastinating (procrastinate vi. / vt. time delay  n. procrastination)doing homework and you're procrastinating by listening to music on YouTube.

Now, you know, when you're looking at YouTube, and you are watching a video,

there's "related videos" on the right-hand side of the screen. I want you to imagine that you are listening to some random song and you see a little picture on the right-hand side that looks pretty familiar. So, you click on it. 

And what you see is something that will change your entire life. Now imagine if you clicked on the video, and you realized that somebody posted a video of you, and labelled it "The World's Ugliest Woman,"or "Man."

Think for a second. How would you feel? How do you think somebody would feel if they found that? I will tell you, because it happened to me. And the moment I found this video, I was given two options.【1】 I could either choose happiness, or I could choose to give up.

(提出话题背景)

Now being in this situation isn't something that's new to me, because I was born with a very, very rare syndrome. There are only 3 people, including myself, that we know of that have this syndrome. 

I am 24 years old. I've never weighed over 62 pounds in my entire life. I literally could eat whatever I want, whenever I want, and not gain weight. 

Now it might sound pretty amazing. It is. Let's just be honest. (Laughter) But I am so small and I look very different from other people. So as you can imagine, when people see me and they have never heard my story, they don't know who I am they know nothing about me, (想起《一个叫欧维的男人决定去死》说道,你不了解我的故事,也就不了解我是什么人。)they see me and they think, "What's wrong with that girl?" "What eating disorder does she have?" "Why is she so skinny?"

From the second I was born, the doctors prepared my parents to expect absolutely nothing out of me. They said I wouldn't come out crying. They said I'd never talk, I'd never walk, I'd never crawl, I would literally accomplish nothing in my life. 

And my parents said, "You know what?  We're going to take her home, we're going to love her, and we're going to raise her as best as we can." (Applause ) So, that's exactly what they did. They raised me completely normally.

I was a cute kid, I'm not gonna lie. (Laughter) I was so small that my parents had to go to Toys “R” Us to buy me doll clothes, because regular baby clothes were way too big on me.

If you go like this, that's the size I was when I was a baby. I personally don't remember, but that's what my parents told me. I grew up completely normally, so normally to the point that, when I started kindergarten, I had no clue (realize)that I was different. I couldn't physically see that I looked different from the other kids. I unfortunately had to find out in a way that I like to think of as a big slap of reality for a 5-year-old. 

I am sure you guys know the feeling, the night before the first day of school, when you are super excited, you have that like anxious feeling in your stomach, because you don't know who's going to be in your class, if you're going to make friends. 

That's what I felt. I had my full lunchbox, my matching bow, my ruffled socks, ready to go. I walked in on the first day, and I saw a little girl reading a book. I walked up to her, and I smiled at her, and she looked up at me like I was the scariest thing she'd ever seen. And my first thought was, "She's rude. I'm a fun kid. She is missing out." (Laughter) So I let it go, and the rest of the day, unfortunately, didn't get any better. 

No one wanted to play with me, no one wanted to stand by me. No one wanted to have a single thing to do with me, because I was different. And again, I couldn't understand, because I was raised so normally. So, going to the playground was hard.

I remember climbing up to the top of the playscape, wanting to go down the slide, (我记得爬上滑梯顶部,想从上滑下来)but there was a long line. And, as soon as I got up there, everybody moved.

And you would think, “Yeah, VIP to the slide." (Laughter) But they were moving because they were scared of me. So that's when I had to go home and ask my parents, "What is wrong with me? Why doesn't anyone like me? I'm just like them." And my parents encouraged me to go back to school, be myself and eventually they'll see that I am just like them. And that's exactly what I did.

So again, at such a young age, I was forced to be in a situation of,【2】 I can either chose to be happy, or I could choose to give up. Luckily, I chose to be happy.

As I grew up, I started making a lot of friends. I am pretty funny. So I made a lot of friends really easily. And once I started making friends, my friends started becoming my body guards, per se. 

When people would come up to me and kind of tease me and make fun of me, which happened often, they would come up and say, "This is my friend Lizzie, you know. Be nice to her, she is pretty cool." And luckily, it worked. As I got older, I, of course, had to deal with a lot of bullying(n. the act of intimidating a weaker person to make them do something). Luckily no physical bullying, but a lot of name calling and stares. 

And so I felt self-conscious(难为情的), a lot, even though I was so young, because I didn't look like the popular girls. But I again continued to be myself.

During middle school, I did cheerleading. I was a flyer. You could've seen how high I went up in the air. (Laughter) I'd realized that I was the people person.(easy-going,social) I loved being around people, I loved talking to people, meeting new people. So I joined every organization that I could think of: high school cheerleading, yearbook staff, newspapers, theater. I hate acting. I won an award in a play. I was doing all of these things, and, once I got to high school, I was at a very high point, and I felt really good about myself, until the day I found the YouTube video.

This video is 8 seconds long. It had no sound. It had over 4 million views, to this one video, that was 8 seconds long. I scrolled down, and there were thousands of comments on it, telling me I should kill myself;

If people see my face, they will go blind. So I thought, "Those people... How could they? They don't know me. They know absolutely nothing about me." So again, I was put in the position:【3】 choosing happiness, or to choose to give up. And in that moment, I didn't want those people to define who I was as a person. I wanted to tell them off, I did, but I told myself, "Lizzie, you are going to prove to these people that they're not going to win, and they're not going to hold you down. 

So, at this point, I am deciding,"How am I going to get my 'revenge'(报复)? What am I going to do?" I am a very goal-oriented person. So I decided to set four goals for myself.

⊙ I decided I was going to be a motivational speaker. 

2013 will be my eighth year of motivational speaking. 

⊙I was going to write a book.

(Applause) I told myself I wanted to write a book. I never thought I would be like, on Harry Potter, or Twillight level, but I knew I want to write a book. My first year of college, I published my first book, called "Lizzie Beautiful," in English and Spanish. (Applause)

I never thought it would happen, but I ended up writing my second book, and it came out this past October, called “Be Beautiful, Be You."

A couple days ago,I got an e-mail from my publishing house with a release date for my third book. 

⊙I was going to graduate college .

(Applause) I told myself I wanted to graduate college. And this May, I will be getting my degree from Texas State University.

⊙ I was going to have my own family and my own career.

 I made these goals when I was probably a sophomore, beginning of junior year. 

My fourth goal was to have my own family and my own career. The family part, down the line.  I am only 24. The career part, I feel like I have got in a good jump on it. So now, I am faced with: "What's next? What am I going to do?" One of the biggest motivations for me to accomplish all those things was that YouTube video.

Every time I was sad, every time I doubted myself -- you may think this sounds kind of crazy, and you're thinking, "Why?" -- I would go back to that video and I would look at every comment, every hateful comment, and it was fuel to my fire to keep going. (别人的恶意、嘲讽转化成动力)

Every nasty comment made me want to work even harder, even harder. It's kind of funny timing, because my mom said, "Well, your goals are pretty much going to be all done. What are you going to do now? Are you going to take a rest?" And I said, "No, are you kidding? Why would I waste my time?

My next goals are going to be even bigger." But that bad video was finally taken down. So I thought, "Great! Things are looking up. Life is pretty good."(Everything is going well.) This past Sunday, as I was preparing for this speech, I started getting a lot of Tweeter notifications. And when that happens, my heart sinks, because I never know if it's something bad.

Unfortunately, it was something bad. Somebody else posted another bad video of me. This person had over a million subscribers to his channel. He googled my name in his video, had horrifying music playing when the search came up, and all his subscribers started googling me, and sending me really hateful things.

My dad's always told us you could have your one good cry, and then you have to pick your chin up, smile, and move onto the positive.(你可以大哭一场,然后抬起下巴、微笑,走向积极的一面) I had my one good cry, I smiled, and I said, "What great accomplishment is this video going to lead to?"

I told myself, "Lizzie, you are going to show these people that they're not going to define you." I am not going to let the people who stared at me, the people who called my ugly, the doctors who said I would never accomplish a thing... They're not going to define me, and they're not going to win. I kind of looked at this whole battle of “The World's Ugliest Women”versus me, and I realized the best revenge is with your accomplishments.(成绩说话!)

So yes,

I won.

Thank you.


❤  TED系列,摘取自@TED博物馆(公众号),详情自行前往了解

❤  当一名安静的聆听者,听别人的故事,走进别人的世界

❤  当一名文明的表达者,敢于表达,尊重表达

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