按:《Ballad in Plain D》是Bob Dylan极富争议的一首作品。这首歌自从1964年发表以来,从来没有被Dylan公开演唱过。很多评论家将这首歌视为Dylan最糟糕的作品之一,而Dylan本人也在二十年后的一次采访中声称,后悔写下这首歌。但也有人,例如Patti Smith(曾在诺贝尔文学奖颁奖典礼上翻唱《A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall》的民谣传奇)就将这首歌列为Dylan最伟大的歌曲之一。
《Ballad in Plain D》的女主角Suze Rotolo是Dylan在纽约的首任女友。Suze Rotolo大概是Dylan音乐中最著名的女性形象(例如著名的《The Freewheelin’》的封面)。当时Dylan逐渐成名,和Joan Baez陷入三角恋,但又想要维持和Suze Rotolo的关系。最终在两人分手的夜晚,Dylan和Suze的姐姐Carla陷入激烈的争吵。随后Dylan便以这件事情为原型,创作了《Ballad in Plain D》。
《Ballad in Plain D》富有争议的主要原因在于这首歌的个人色彩以及事实描述的片面性,尤其是对Carla的人身攻击(如在歌词中称Carla为寄生虫)。Dlyan传记的作者Clinton Heylin便曾用“自怨自艾”来形容这首歌——他将Dylan在这首歌里表达的感情,理解为Dylan在处理复杂现实感情问题时的无能;但另一方面,Dylan成功的地方又在于,他十分善于将类似的、个人化的东西表现在歌词里,并融入一些哲学层面的思考,例如社会和个体自由的状态。
就我个人而言,更倾向于在一种哲思的意义上欣赏这首歌。我昨天在听这首歌时候,曾想要找到中文歌词,但当时却没有发现可用的版本,于是便自己整理了一个。结果几分钟前,却又发现在网易云音乐上已经有了一个翻译——全然白费功夫。但Dylan的歌词很晦涩,在翻译成中文的过程中,不仅仅韵律丢掉了,在一些具体文字上,往往不同人理解也很不一样,例如这首歌我最有感触的最后一段便是如此。所以我只能说,这个版本是一个极其富有个人色彩的自用翻译。
I once loved a girl, her skin it was bronze
我曾爱过一个女孩,她有古铜色的皮肤
With the innocence of a lamb, she was gentle like a fawn
如同羔羊一般纯洁,她温柔地像只小鹿
I courted her proudly but now she is gone
我曾热切地追求过她,但如今她已离去
Gone as the season she’s taken
连同那个被她带走的季节
Through young summer’s breeze, I stole her away
在初夏的微风里,
From her mother and sister, though close did they stay
我从她母亲和姐姐身旁,偷走了她的心
Each one of them suffering from the failures of their day
她们两个人在生活的失败中煎熬
With strings of guilt they tried hard to guide us
在对往昔的悔恨中,她们总是试图劝诫我们
Of the two sisters, I loved the young
在这对姐妹里,我爱的是妹妹
With sensitive instincts, she was the creative one
凭着敏感的天性,她曾充满灵气
The constant scapegoat, she was easily undone
然而总是被作为替罪羊,她常常轻易地
By the jealousy of others around her
被缠绕身旁的嫉妒击垮
For her parasite sister, I had no respect
对于她寄生虫般的姐姐,我没有一丝尊重
Bound by her boredom, her pride to protect
她被禁锢在自己的无趣和虚荣中
Countless visions of the other she’d reflect
在她身上映射出无数个别人的愿景
As a crutch for her scenes and her society
被她用来支撑自己的幻想及名利场
Myself, for what I did, I cannot be excused
而我自己,因为我所做下的,永远不能被原谅
The changes I was going through can’t even be used
即使那时我所经历的人生变化——
For the lies that I told her in hopes not to lose
也不能被用作对她诉说的谎言,好让我不失去
The could-be dream-lover of my lifetime
这个可以和我共度余生的爱人
With unknown consciousness, I possessed in my grip
莫名之间,我的手中握着
A magnificent mantelpiece, though its heart being chipped
一座华丽的壁炉台,尽管它的内壁早已碎裂
Noticing not that I’d already slipped
我没有察觉到,我早已堕入了
To a sin of love’s false security
一个编织爱的虚假安全感的罪恶
From silhouetted anger to manufactured peace
从喷涌的愤怒到粉饰的和平
Answers of emptiness, voice vacancies
空白的回答,声音缺席
Till the tombstones of damage read me no questions but, “Please
直到损坏的墓碑上,我再也读不出问题,除了“请问,
What’s wrong and what’s exactly the matter?”
哪里出错了,到底——是为什么?”
And so it did happen like it could have been foreseen
然而正如当初所预见的,事情就这么发生了
The timeless explosion of fantasy’s dream
一个白日梦永无止尽地爆炸
At the peak of the night, the king and the queen
在黑夜的最深处,国王和王后
Tumbled all down into pieces
塌陷成一块块碎片
“The tragic figure!” her sister did shout
“你这个悲剧的人!”她的姐姐嘶吼到“
Leave her alone, God damn you, get out!”
“离她远点,你这个混蛋,滚出去!”
And I in my armor, turning about
而我穿着铠甲,转过身
And nailing her to the ruins of her pettiness
将她钉进她自己卑微的废墟上
Beneath a bare light bulb the plaster did pound
在一盏光秃秃的灯泡下,破碎的墙灰不停敲打着地面
Her sister and I in a screaming battleground
她的姐姐和我朝着彼此咆哮
And she in between, the victim of sound
而她在中间,成为声音的受害者
Soon shattered as a child to the shadows
很快就像孩子一样崩溃在角落的阴影里
All is gone, all is gone, admit it, take flight
一切都结束了,一切都结束了,承认吧,走吧
I gagged in contradiction, tears blinding my sight,
我欲言又止,任凭泪水模糊了视线
My mind it was mangled, I ran into the night
我心如刀绞,逃进黑夜
Leaving all of love’s ashes behind me
将所有的爱的灰烬留在身后
The wind knocks my window, the room it is wet
如今风敲打着我的窗户,而房间一片潮湿
The words to say I’m sorry, I haven’t found yet
我始终没有找到合适的语句,来诉说我的歉意
I think of her often and hope whoever she’s met
我常常想起她,并希望不管谁在未来遇见她
Will be fully aware of how precious she is
都能懂得她有多么珍贵
Ah, my friends from the prison, they ask unto me
啊,我在监狱的朋友,向我问到,
“How good, how good does it feel to be free?”
“有多好,自由的感觉有多好?”
And I answer them most mysteriously
我给了他们一个最神秘的回答,
“Are birds free from the chains of the skyway?”
“被钉在天空中的鸟儿是自由的吗?”