Ⅲ 冰雨的风暴 Chapter41 琼恩
JON
地上到处是松针和被风吹落的树叶，仿佛一层棕绿色地毯，却为雨水所浸透。落叶在脚下咯吱作响。光秃秃的大橡树、高耸的哨兵树和成片的士卒松矗立在旁。又一座古老圆塔位于山岗，里面空空的，墙壁爬满厚厚一层绿苔藓，几乎直达塔顶。“这些石东西是谁修的？”耶哥蕊特问他，“国王吗？”
The ground was littered with pine needles and blown leaves, a carpet of green and brown still damp from the recent rains. It squished beneath their feet. Huge bare oaks, tall sentinels, and hosts of soldier pines stood all around them. On a hill above them was another roundtower, ancient and empty, thick green moss crawling up its side almost to the summit. “Who built that, all of stone like that?” Ygritte asked him. “Some king?”
“不，是曾生活在这里的人们修筑的。”
“No. Just the men who used to live here.”
“他们后来怎么了？”
“What happened to them?”
“死了，或是离开。”“布兰登的馈赠”数千年来都有人耕种，但随着守夜人军团的缩减，没有多余人手用于犁地、养蜂或种植果园，因此许多田地和厅堂被荒野重新占据。“新赠地”本有村落和庄园，其中税收供养着黑衣弟兄，或以货物，或以劳动，提供食物衣衫。但这些大多也不存在了。
“They died or went away.” Brandon’s Gift had been farmed for thousands of years, but as the Watch dwindled there were fewer hands to plow the fields, tend the bees, and plant the orchards, so the wild had reclaimed many a field and hall. In the New Gift there had been villages and holdfasts whose taxes, rendered in goods and labor, helped feed and clothe the black brothers. But those were largely gone as well.
“他们是傻瓜，离开这样一座好城堡。”耶哥蕊特评论。
“They were fools to leave such a castle,” said Ygritte.
“这只是一座塔楼。某个小领主曾带着家族和效忠他的武士住在这儿，掠袭者到来时，便会燃起烽火报警。真正的城堡，比如临冬城的塔有这个的三倍高。”
“It’s only a towerhouse. Some little lordling lived there once, with his family and a few sworn men. When raiders came he would light a beacon from the roof. Winterfell has towers three times the size of that.”
她似乎认为他在编故事。“没有巨人托起石头，怎能造得那么高呢？”
She looked as if she thought he was making that up. “How could men build so high, with no giants to lift the stones?”
传说“筑城者”布兰登正是凭借巨人的帮助才建起临冬城，但琼恩不想把话题弄复杂。“人们可以建比这高出许多的城堡。旧镇有座塔是全世界最高的建筑，比长城还高呢。”他看出她不相信。如果我可以向她展示临冬城……为她摘一朵玻璃花园的花，与她在大厅里欢宴，给她看坐在王座上的国王石像。我们可以在温泉里洗澡，在心树下爱抚，让旧神看护我们。
In legend, Brandon the Builder had used giants to help raise Winterfell, but Jon did not want to confuse the issue. “Men can build a lot higher than this. In Oldtown there’s a tower taller than the Wall.” He could tell she did not believe him. If I could show her Winterfell … give her a flower from the glass gardens, feast her in the Great Hall, and show her the stone kings on their thrones. We could bathe in the hot pools, and love beneath the heart tree while the old gods watched over us.
甜美的梦……但临冬城永远不是让他给人展示的。它属于他哥哥，北境之王。他姓雪诺，不姓史塔克。私生子，背誓者，变色龙……
The dream was sweet … but Winterfell would never be his to show. It belonged to his brother, the King in the North. He was a Snow, not a Stark. Bastard, oathbreaker, and turncloak …
“也许以后我们可以回到这儿，住在那座塔里，”她说，“你想不想这样，琼恩·雪诺？以后？”
“Might be after we could come back here, and live in that tower,” she said. “Would you want that, Jon Snow? After?”
以后。这个词像长矛般刺入他心房。战争以后。征服以后。野人突破长城以后……
After. The word was a spear thrust. After the war. After the conquest. After the wildlings break the Wall …
父亲大人谈论过提拔新领主，安置在废弃的庄园，作为抵挡野人的屏障。这一计划需要守夜人让出赠地里的一大片区域，但叔叔班扬相信可以说服莫尔蒙总司令，只要新领主们向黑城堡纳税，而非向临冬城。“但那是春天的梦想，”艾德公爵说，“而凛冬将至，纵然许以土地，也无法吸引人们前往北方。”
His lord father had once talked about raising new lords and settling them in the abandoned holdfasts as a shield against wildlings. The plan would have required the Watch to yield back a large part of the Gift, but his uncle Benjen believed the Lord Commander could be won around, so long as the new lordlings paid taxes to Castle Black rather than Winterfell. “It is a dream for spring, though,” Lord Eddard had said. “Even the promise of land will not lure men north with a winter coming on.”
若冬天来去得快，而春天紧接着降临，我也许会被选中，以父亲的名义占据这些塔楼之一。然而艾德公爵死去，班扬叔叔也失了踪，他们设想的屏障再也不会实现。“这儿属于守夜人。”琼恩说。
If winter had come and gone more quickly and spring had followed in its turn, I might have been chosen to hold one of these towers in my father’s name. Lord Eddard was dead, however, his brother Benjen lost; the shield they dreamt together would never be forged. “This land belongs to the Watch,” Jon said.
她嗤之以鼻，“没人住在这儿。”
Her nostrils flared. “No one lives here.”
“他们是被掠袭者赶走的。”
“Your raiders drove them off.”
“那他们就是胆小鬼。想保住土地，就该留下来战斗才对。”
“They were cowards, then. If they wanted the land they should have stayed and fought.”
“也许他们厌倦了战斗。厌倦了每晚上闩，琢磨叮当衫之流会不会破门而入，掳走妻子。厌倦了收获或任何可能拥有的家什都被你们盗走。搬到掠袭者所能达到的范围之外会比较安逸。”倘若长城沦陷，整个北境都将遭受掠袭者的侵扰。
“Maybe they were tired of fighting. Tired of barring their doors every night and wondering if Rattleshirt or someone like him would break them down to carry off their wives. Tired of having their harvests stolen, and any valuables they might have. It’s easier to move beyond the reach of raiders.” But if the Wall should fail, all the north will lie within the reach of raiders.
“你什么都不懂，琼恩·雪诺。我们只抢女儿，不抢妻子。再说，你们才是真正的强盗。你们霸占整个世界，然后筑起长城，将自由民挡在外面。”
“You know nothing, Jon Snow. Daughters are taken, not wives. You’re the ones who steal. You took the whole world, and built the Wall t’ keep the free folk out.”
“是吗？”琼恩有时会忘记她是个十足的野人，每到这时候，她的言行就会主动提醒他，“什么意思？”
“Did we?” Sometimes Jon forgot how wild she was, and then she would remind him. “How did that happen?”
“诸神创造世界给人类共享。然而所谓的国王们带着王冠和钢剑到来，宣称那全是他们的。‘这是我的树，’他们说，‘你不能吃上面的苹果。这是我的河，你不能在这儿捕鱼。这是我的森林，你不能过来打猎。这些是我的土地，我的流水，我的城堡，我的女儿，把你们的手拿开，否则休怪我剁了它。当然啦，朝我下跪的话，我也许会让你们嗅一嗅。’你们称我们是贼，但贼至少得敏捷、机智和勇敢。下跪的人只会下跪。”
“The gods made the earth for all men t’ share. Only when the kings come with their crowns and steel swords, they claimed it was all theirs. My trees, they said, you can’t eat them apples. My stream, you can’t fish here. My wood, you’re not t’ hunt. My earth, my water, my castle, my daughter, keep your hands away or I’ll chop ’em off, but maybe if you kneel t’ me I’ll let you have a sniff. You call us thieves, but at least a thief has t’ be brave and clever and quick. A kneeler only has t’ kneel.”
“哈玛和骨头袋子可不是为鱼或苹果而掠袭。他们掠夺长剑和斧子，香料、丝绸与毛皮，攫取能找到的每枚硬币、每枚戒指和每只珠宝杯子，夏天抢酒，冬季抢肉，任何季节都抢女人，并将她们掳过长城。”
“Harma and the Bag of Bones don’t come raiding for fish and apples. They steal swords and axes. Spices, silks, and furs. They grab every coin and ring and jeweled cup they can find, casks of wine in summer and casks of beef in winter, and they take women in any season and carry them off beyond the Wall.”
“那又怎样？我宁愿被强壮的男人偷走，也不要被父亲嫁给懦夫。”
“And what if they do? I’d sooner be stolen by a strong man than be given t’ some weakling by my father.”
“说是这么说，但你怎知道对方是好是坏？若被讨厌的人偷走怎么办？”
“You say that, but how can you know? What if you were stolen by someone you hated?”
“要偷走我，他必须敏捷、机智和勇敢。这样他的儿子也会又强壮又聪明。我为什么要讨厌这样的人？”
“He’d have t’ be quick and cunning and brave t’ steal me. So his sons would be strong and smart as well. Why would I hate such a man as that?”
“也许他从不洗澡，臭得像头熊。”
“Maybe he never washes, so he smells as rank as a bear.”
“那我就把他推进河里，或者泼桶水到他身上。不管怎么说，男人不该闻起来像花。”
“Then I’d push him in a stream or throw a bucket o’ water on him. Anyhow, men shouldn’t smell sweet like flowers.”
“花有什么错？”
“What’s wrong with flowers?”
“没什么——对蜜蜂而言。上床嘛，我要这样的。”耶哥蕊特伸手勾他马裤前褶。
“Nothing, for a bee. For bed I want one o’ these.” Ygritte made to grab the front of his breeches.
琼恩握住她手腕。“如果偷走你的人是个酒鬼呢？”他坚持，“如果他粗暴残忍呢？”他使劲捏紧，加以强调。“如果他比你强壮，又喜欢狠狠揍你呢？”
Jon caught her wrist. “What if the man who stole you drank too much?” he insisted. “What if he was brutal or cruel?” He tightened his grip to make a point. “What if he was stronger than you, and liked to beat you bloody?”
“那我就趁他睡着时割他喉咙。你什么都不懂，琼恩·雪诺。”耶哥蕊特像鳗鱼一样扭动，挣脱了他。
“I’d cut his throat while he slept. You know nothing, Jon Snow.” Ygritte twisted like an eel and wrenched away from him.
我懂，你打骨予里是个十足的野人。当他们一起欢笑、一起接吻时，这点很容易忘记。但随后其中一人会说些什么，做些什么，于是他会突然记起他们的世界之间隔着一堵墙。
I know one thing. I know that you are wildling to the bone. It was easy to forget that sometimes, when they were laughing together, or kissing. But then one of them would say something, or do something, and he would suddenly be reminded of the wall between their worlds.
“男人要么占有女人，要么得到匕首，”耶哥蕊特告诉他，“每个女孩小时候都从母亲那儿得到了教诲。”她挑战似地扬起下巴，晃晃浓密的红发。“而且人们不能占有土地，正如不能占有海洋和天空。你们下跪之人自认为可以，曼斯会让你们知道并非如此。”
“A man can own a woman or a man can own a knife,” Ygritte told him, “but no man can own both. Every little girl learns that from her mother.” She raised her chin defiantly and gave her thick red hair a shake. “And men can’t own the land no more’n they can own the sea or the sky. You kneelers think you do, but Mance is going t’ show you different.”
这话很是英勇自豪，却十分空洞。琼恩回头瞥了一眼，确定马格拿听不到。埃洛克、大疖子和麻绳丹跟在身后几码处行走，但都没留意。大疖子正抱怨他的屁股。“耶哥蕊特，”他压低声音说，“曼斯赢不了这场战争。”
It was a fine brave boast, but it rang hollow. Jon glanced back to make certain the Magnar was not in earshot. Errok, Big Boil, and Hempen Dan were walking a few yards behind them, but paying no attention. Big Boil was complaining of his arse. “Ygritte,” he said in a low voice, “Mance cannot win this war.”
“他能！”她坚持，“你什么都不懂，琼恩·雪诺。你从没见过自由民打仗！”
“He can!” she insisted. “You know nothing, Jon Snow. You have never seen the free folk fight!”
自由民打起仗来像英雄还是像恶魔，取决于你的交谈对象，但说到底是一回事。他们凭着鲁莽的勇气，为荣耀而战。“我丝毫不怀疑你们的勇敢，然则战争需要纪律，没有规矩不成方圆。曼斯终将像以前的塞外之王一样失败，而当他失败时，你们会死！你们所有人都会死。”
Wildlings fought like heroes or demons, depending on who you talked to, but it came down to the same thing in the end. They fight with reckless courage, every man out for glory. “I don’t doubt that you’re all very brave, but when it comes to battle, discipline beats valor every time. In the end Mance will fail as all the Kings-beyond-the-Wall have failed before him. And when he does, you’ll die. All of you.”
耶哥蕊特看起来非常生气，他甚至以为她要打他。“我们所有人，”她说，“你也一样。你现在不是乌鸦了，琼恩·雪诺。我曾发誓说你不是，所以你最好不是。”她将他推向后面一棵树的树干，就在这衣衫褴褛的队列中间，拼命接吻，嘴唇紧贴。琼恩听见山羊格里格的耸恿，还有人哈哈大笑，但他浑不理会，也回吻向她。终于分开时，耶哥蕊特脸上泛着红晕。“你是我的，”她轻声说。“我的，就像我也是你的。如果要死，就一起死好了。凡人皆有一死，琼恩·雪诺，但首先得好好地活。”
Ygritte had looked so angry he thought she was about to strike him. “All of us,” she said. “You too. You’re no crow now, Jon Snow. I swore you weren’t, so you better not be.” She pushed him back against the trunk of a tree and kissed him, full on the lips right there in the midst of the ragged column. Jon heard Grigg the Goat urging her on. Someone else laughed. He kissed her back despite all that. When they finally broke apart, Ygritte was flushed. “You’re mine,” she whispered. “Mine, as I’m yours. And if we die, we die. All men must die, Jon Snow. But first we’ll live.”
“是的，”他的声音含糊不清，“首先得好好地活。”
“Yes.” His voice was thick. “First we’ll live.”
听到这话她咧嘴笑笑，让琼恩看到弯弯曲曲的牙齿，他现在居然有点喜欢起那些牙齿来。你打骨子里是个十足的野人，他再次想到，心口有种沮丧悲哀的感觉，握剑的手不禁开开合合。倘若耶哥蕊特知道他的心思，会怎么做呢？倘若拉她坐下，告诉她自己仍是艾德·史塔克的儿子，仍是守夜人的汉子，她会不会背叛他？他希望不会，但不敢冒险。太多人的安危取决于他，得设法赶在马格拿之前抵达黑城堡……假设能找到机会逃跑的话。
She grinned at that, showing Jon the crooked teeth that he had somehow come to love. Wildling to the bone, he thought again, with a sick sad feeling in the pit of his stomach. He flexed the fingers of his sword hand, and wondered what Ygritte would do if she knew his heart. Would she betray him if he sat her down and told her that he was still Ned Stark’s son and a man of the Night’s Watch? He hoped not, but he dare not take that risk. Too many lives depended on his somehow reaching Castle Black before the Magnar … assuming he found a chance to escape the wildlings.
他们通过灰卫堡南下，该要塞已被废弃了两百年，而一个多世纪之前，巨大的石阶梯就已崩塌，即使如此，下来也比攀登容易。斯迪率队由此深入赠地，以免遭遇守夜人的巡逻队。山羊格里格带路，绕开少数几个尚有人居住的村子。行进途中，除开一些四处分散、像石手指般伸向天空的圆塔，看不到任何文明的痕迹。穿越阴冷潮湿的丘陵和强风吹刮的平原，没人监视，没被发现。
They had descended the south face of the Wall at Greyguard, abandoned for two hundred years. A section of the huge stone steps had collapsed a century before, but even so the descent was a good deal easier than the climb. From there Styr marched them deep into the Gift, to avoid the Watch’s customary patrols. Grigg the Goat led them past the few inhabited villages that remained in these lands. Aside from a few scattered roundtowers poking the sky like stone fingers, they saw no sign of man. Through cold wet hills and windy plains they marched, unwatched, unseen.
不管要你做什么，都不准违抗，统统照办，断掌吩咐，与他们一起行军，与他们一起用餐，与他们一起作战，直到时机来临。他跟他们骑了无数里，如今又改为步行，他跟他们共享盐和面包，还与耶哥蕊特同床共枕，但仍不受信任。瑟恩人日日夜夜地监视，提防任何背叛。他无法脱身，然而过不多久，一切就太迟了。
You must not balk, whatever is asked of you, the Halfhand had said. Ride with them, eat with them, fight with them, for as long as it takes. He’d ridden many leagues and walked for more, had shared their bread and salt, and Ygritte’s blankets as well, but still they did not trust him. Day and night the Thenns watched him, alert for any signs of betrayal. He could not get away, and soon it would be too late.
跟他们一起作战，科林死在长爪之下以前如是说……好在迄今为止，情势尚不至于此。哪怕夺走一个弟兄的生命，我就会迷失，就会永远越过绝境长城，再也无法回来。
Fight with them, Qhorin had said, before he surrendered his own life to Longclaw … but it had not come to that, till now. Once I shed a brother’s blood I am lost. I cross the Wall for good then, and there is no crossing back.
每天行军之后，马格拿都会召他来提一些关于黑城堡的尖锐而精明的问题，以了解守军情况和防御工事。琼恩在敢于说谎的地方骗他，有时则佯作不知，但山羊格里格和埃洛克就在旁边，他们知道得不少，足以让琼恩警惕。太过明显的谎话将暴露意图。
After each day’s march the Magnar summoned him to ask shrewd sharp questions about Castle Black, its garrison and defenses. Jon lied where he dared and feigned ignorance a few times, but Grigg the Goat and Errok listened as well, and they knew enough to make Jon careful. Too blatant a lie would betray him.
真相十分可怕。除开长城本身，黑城堡没有防御工事，连木栅栏和土堤都无。而所谓的“城堡”不过是些木造城楼和石砌高塔，其中三分之二业已塌陷损毁。至于守军，熊老出击时带走两百人。有人回来吗？琼恩无从得知。城中约剩四百人，多半是工匠和事务官，并非游骑兵。
But the truth was terrible. Castle Black had no defenses, but for the Wall itself. It lacked even wooden palisades or earthen dikes. The “castle” was nothing more than a cluster of towers and keeps, two-thirds of them falling into ruin. As for the garrison, the Old Bear had taken two hundred on his ranging. Had any returned? Jon could not know. Perhaps four hundred remained at the castle, but most of those were builders or stewards, not rangers.
瑟恩人是坚毅的战士，比寻常野人更有纪律性——无疑这是曼斯选择他们的原因。而与之相对，黑城堡的防御者包括盲人伊蒙学士，照料他的半盲事务官克莱达斯，独臂的唐纳·诺伊，醉醺醺的赛勒达修士，聋子迪克·佛拉德，“三指”哈布，老文顿·史陶爵士，还有霍德、陶德、派普、阿贝特及其他曾跟琼恩一起受训的男孩们，他们的指挥官是胖胖的总务长、红脸孔波文·马尔锡——莫尔蒙总司令缺席期间，由他担任代理城主。忧郁的艾迪照“熊老”配莫尔蒙的样，为马尔锡取了个外号叫“石榴老”。“等哪天你在战场上跟敌人堂堂正正地交手，就会发现他是你最需要的人，”艾迪以一贯阴沉的声调说，“他会帮你把对方人数点得清清楚楚。那家伙是个活算盘。”
The Thenns were hardened warriors, and more disciplined than the common run of wildling; no doubt that was why Mance had chosen them. The defenders of Castle Black would include blind Maester Aemon and his half-blind steward Clydas, one-armed Donal Noye, drunken Septon Cellador, Deaf Dick Follard, Three-Finger Hobb the cook, old Ser Wynton Stout, as well as Halder and Toad and Pyp and Albett and the rest of the boys who’d trained with Jon. And commanding them would be red-faced Bowen Marsh, the plump Lord Steward who had been made castellan in Lord Mormont’s absence. Dolorous Edd sometimes called Marsh “the Old Pomegranate,” which fit him just as well as “the Old Bear” fit Mormont. “He’s the man you want in front when the foes are in the field,” Edd would say in his usual dour voice. “He’ll count them right up for you. A regular demon for counting, that one.”
倘若马格拿出其不意地袭击黑城堡，将是一场血腥屠杀，那些男孩还没明白过来，就会在睡梦中死于床上。琼恩必须警告他们，但怎么做呢？他从未被派出去征集或打猎，也没被允许单独站岗。他还为耶哥蕊特担心。他不能带走她，但若将她留下，马格拿会要她为他的背叛负责吗？两颗跳动如一的心……
If the Magnar takes Castle Black unawares, it will be red slaughter, boys butchered in their beds before they know they are under attack. Jon had to warn them, but how? He was never sent out to forage or hunt, nor allowed to stand a watch alone. And he feared for Ygritte as well. He could not take her, but if he left her, would the Magnar make her answer for his treachery? Two hearts that beat as one …
他们每晚共用一张毯子，入睡时总有她的头枕在胸前，红发轻蹭下巴。她的体味成了他的一部分。她弯弯曲曲的牙齿，她的乳房握在手中的感觉，她嘴巴里的滋味……是他的快乐，也是他的无奈。无数个晚上，躺在耶哥蕊特温暖的身躯旁，他疑惑地想，不管自己生母是谁，父亲大人想必也有同样的感觉吧？耶哥蕊特设好陷阱，曼斯·雷德将我推进去。
They shared the same sleeping skins every night, and he went to sleep with her head against his chest and her red hair tickling his chin. The smell of her had become a part of him. Her crooked teeth, the feel of her breast when he cupped it in his hand, the taste of her mouth … they were his joy and his despair. Many a night he lay with Ygritte warm beside him, wondering if his lord father had felt this confused about his mother, whoever she had been. Ygritte set the trap and Mance Rayder pushed me into it.
每天和野人一起生活，他发现自己越来越难以去履行必须履行的责任。他要想方设法背叛这些朝夕相处的人，而一旦找到方法，他们就会因此而死。他不能接受他们的友谊，正如他不该接受耶哥蕊特的爱情。然而……瑟恩人讲古语，很少跟琼恩交谈，但贾尔的掠袭者们、那些攀登冰墙的壮士就不同了。起初并非情愿，但他逐渐开始了解这些人：精瘦安静的埃洛克，爱交朋友的山羊格里格，男孩科特和波吉，制绳子的麻绳丹。其中最糟的是戴尔，一位与琼恩年纪相仿的马脸少年，他会如梦似幻般地讲述打算去偷的那个野人女孩。“她是幸运的，跟你的耶哥蕊特一样火吻而生哟。”
Every day he spent among the wildlings made what he had to do that much harder. He was going to have to find some way to betray these men, and when he did they would die. He did not want their friendship, any more than he wanted Ygritte’s love. And yet … the Thenns spoke the Old Tongue and seldom talked to Jon at all, but it was different with Jarl’s raiders, the men who’d climbed the Wall. Jon was coming to know them despite himself: gaunt, quiet Errok and gregarious Grigg the Goat, the boys Quort and Bodger, Hempen Dan the ropemaker. The worst of the lot was Del, a horsefaced youth near Jon’s own age, who would talk dreamily of this wildling girl he meant to steal. “She’s lucky, like your Ygritte. She’s kissed by fire.”
琼恩只好忍住不开口。他不想知道德尔的女孩，不想知道波吉的母亲，不想知道“头盔”亨克位于海边的家乡，不想知道格里格探访千面屿上绿人的渴望，也不想知道一头驼鹿怎样赶着“手指脚”上树。他不想听“大疖子”讲屁股上的疖子，不想听“石拇指”能喝多少麦酒，也不想听科特的小弟恳求他不要像贾尔那样死去。科特本人不超过十四岁，却早已给自己偷到老婆，并且有个孩子即将出世。“也许他将出生在某个城堡里，”那男孩夸口，“像领主一样，出生在城堡里哦！”他对看到的“城堡”十分入迷，实际上那只是些嘹望塔。
Jon had to bite his tongue. He didn’t want to know about Del’s girl or Bodger’s mother, the place by the sea that Henk the Helm came from, how Grigg yearned to visit the green men on the Isle of Faces, or the time a moose had chased Toefinger up a tree. He didn’t want to hear about the boil on Big Boil’s arse, how much ale Stone Thumbs could drink, or how Quort’s little brother had begged him not to go with Jarl. Quort could not have been older than fourteen, though he’d already stolen himself a wife and had a child on the way. “Might be he’ll be born in some castle,” the boy boasted. “Born in a castle like a lord!” He was very taken with the “castles” they’d seen, by which he meant watchtowers.
琼恩不知白灵现在在哪儿。他去了黑城堡，还是跟狼群一起在森林里逡巡？他感知不到冰原狼的存在，甚至在梦里也做不到，这让他觉得自己的一部分被切断了。纵然身边有耶哥蕊特，他仍感到孤独。他不想孤独地死去。
Jon wondered where Ghost was now. Had he gone to Castle Black, or was he running with some wolfpack in the woods? He had no sense of the direwolf, not even in his dreams. It made him feel as if part of himself had been cut off. Even with Ygritte sleeping beside him, he felt alone. He did not want to die alone.
那天下午，树木变得稀少，他们沿缓缓起伏的平原向东进发。青草长到齐腰之高，株株野麦随风轻曳。白天大多数时间温暖明亮，然而，到得日落时分，乌云从西方压来，很快吞噬了橙色的太阳，莱恩估计一场大风暴即将来临。他母亲是森林女巫，掠袭者们都认定他有预言气象的天赋。“附近有个村子，”山羊格里格告诉马格拿，“离这儿两三里地。我们可以在那儿过夜。”斯迪立刻同意。
By that afternoon the trees had begun to thin, and they marched east over gently rolling plains. Grass rose waist high around them, and stands of wild wheat swayed gently when the wind came gusting, but for the most part the day was warm and bright. Toward sunset, however, clouds began to threaten in the west. They soon engulfed the orange sun, and Lenn foretold a bad storm coming. His mother was a woods witch, so all the raiders agreed he had a gift for foretelling the weather. “There’s a village close,” Grigg the Goat told the Magnar. “Two miles, three. We could shelter there.” Styr agreed at once.
等到达那地方，天早已黑暗，风暴开始肆虐。村子坐落在湖边，很久以前就被废弃，所有房屋都已倒塌，甚至那木结构的小客栈也倒了一半。过去，旅人看到它定会十分宽慰，而今这没屋顶的废墟却怎么也让人高兴不起来。我们在这儿得不到遮蔽，琼恩沮丧地想。每次闪电划过，都能看见湖中央小岛上矗立着一座圆形石塔，但没船，过不去。
It was well past dark and the storm was raging by the time they reached the place. The village sat beside a lake, and had been so long abandoned that most of the houses had collapsed. Even the small timber inn that must once have been a welcome sight for travelers stood half-fallen and roofless. We will find scant shelter here, Jon thought gloomily. Whenever the lightning flashed he could see a stone roundtower rising from an island out in the lake, but without boats they had no way to reach it.
埃洛克和戴尔蹑手蹑脚地前去侦察废墟，后者几乎立刻就回来了。斯迪当即止住队列，派出十几个瑟恩人，手持长矛，一路小跑往前行。这时琼恩也发现了：闪烁的火光映红了客栈的烟囱。我们并非唯一的访客。恐惧像蛇一样缠绕在他心中。他听见一声马嘶，然后是呼喊。与他们一起行军，与他们一起用餐，与他们一起作战，科林的吩咐……
Errok and Del had crept ahead to scout the ruins, but Del was back almost at once. Styr halted the column and sent a dozen of his Thenns trotting forward, spears in hand. By then Jon had seen it too: the glimmer of a fire, reddening the chimney of the inn. We are not alone. Dread coiled inside him like a snake. He heard a horse neigh, and then shouts. Ride with them, eat with them, fight with them, Qhorin had said.
战斗刚开始就告结束。“只有一个人，”埃洛克回来报告，“一个老头跟一匹马。”
But the fighting was done. “There’s only one of them,” Errok said when he came back. “An old man with a horse.”
马格拿用古语大声发号施令，二十个瑟恩人分散开来，围住村子，其余部下则于房屋之间巡察，确保没人躲在杂草丛或乱石堆里。掠袭者们挤在那没屋顶的客栈，互相推攘着向壁炉靠近。老人用来点火的断枝所产生的烟似乎比热量还多，但在这样一个狂暴的雨夜，哪怕一点点暖意都令人舒心。两个瑟恩人将老人推到地上，搜查他的随身物品，另一个牵了他的马，还有三个在翻他的鞍囊。
The Magnar shouted commands in the Old Tongue and a score of his Thenns spread out to establish a perimeter around the village, whilst others went prowling through the houses to make certain no one else was hiding amongst the weeds and tumbled stones. The rest crowded into the roofless inn, jostling each other to get closer to the hearth. The broken branches the old man had been burning seemed to generate more smoke than heat, but any warmth was welcome on such a wild rainy night. Two of the Thenns had thrown the man to the ground and were going through his things. Another held his horse, while three more looted his saddlebags.
琼恩走开了。一个烂苹果在脚下碾碎。斯迪会杀了他。马格拿在灰卫堡就声明过，遇到任何下跪之人，都要立刻处死，以确保他们无法示警。与他们一起行军，与他们一起用餐，与他们一起作战。这是否意味着，必须沉默无助地看着他们割开无辜老人的喉咙？
Jon walked away. A rotten apple squished beneath his heel. Styr will kill him. The Magnar had said as much at Greyguard; any kneelers they met were to be put to death at once, to make certain they could not raise the alarm. Ride with them, eat with them, fight with them. Did that mean he must stand mute and helpless while they slit an old man’s throat?
在村子边缘，琼恩面对面遇上一名斯迪安排的守卫。瑟恩人用古语低沉地说了些什么，并用矛尖指指客栈。回到属于你的地方去，琼恩猜测。但我属于哪儿呢？
Near the edge of the village, Jon came face-to-face with one of the guards Styr had posted. The Thenn growled something in the Old Tongue and pointed his spear back toward the inn. Get back where you belong, Jon guessed. But where is that?
他走向湖边，在一堵倾斜的土木墙边发现块干燥的地方——那堵墙属于一幢摇摇欲坠、大部坍塌的村舍——坐下来呆呆地望着雨点抽打的湖面。耶哥蕊特正是在这儿找到了他。“我知道这地方的名字，”她坐在他身边，他说，“下次闪电的时候注意看塔顶，告诉我看到了什么。”
He walked towards the water, and discovered an almost dry spot beneath the leaning daub-and-wattle wall of a tumbledown cottage that had mostly tumbled down. That was where Ygritte found him sitting, staring off across the rain-whipped lake. “I know this place,” he told her when she sat beside him. “That tower … look at the top of it the next time the lightning flashes, and tell me what you see.”
“好，只要你喜欢，”她回答，然后续道，“一些瑟恩人听见那儿有响声，似乎是里面传出的喊叫。”
“Aye, if you like,” she said, and then, “Some o’ the Thenns are saying they heard noises out there. Shouting, they say.”
“多半是打雷吧。”
“Thunder.”
“他们说是喊叫。也许有鬼魂呢。”
“They say shouting. Might be it’s ghosts.”
那要塞黑乎乎地矗立在风暴中，而它所在的岩岛四周，雨水不停地鞭击湖面，看起来确实有点阴森森，像是鬼魂出没之所。“我们可以过去看看，”他建议，“反正身子够湿，不会更糟了。”
The holdfast did have a grim haunted look, standing there black against the storm on its rocky island with the rain lashing at the lake all around it. “We could go out and take a look,” he suggested. “I doubt we could get much wetter than we are.”
“游泳？在风暴中游泳？”她报以大笑，“是想骗我脱衣服吗，琼恩·雪诺？”
“Swimming? In the storm?” She laughed at the notion. “Is this a trick t’ get the clothes off me, Jon Snow?”
“为此还需要骗你？”他调皮地回答，“还是你根本连划水都不行呀？”琼恩自己是个游泳能手，小时候在临冬城的宽阔护城河里学就的。
“Do I need a trick for that now?” he teased. “Or is that you can’t swim a stroke?” Jon was a strong swimmer himself, having learned the art as a boy in Winterfell’s great moat.
耶哥蕊特捶了一下他的胳膊。“你什么都不懂，琼恩·雪诺。我就是半条鱼，你会明白的。”
Ygritte punched his arm. “You know nothing, Jon Snow. I’m half a fish, I’ll have you know.”
“半条鱼，半头山羊，半匹马……你的一半也太多了，耶哥蕊特。”他摇摇头，“我们不需要游，如果这就是我所知道的那个地方，我们可以走过去。”
“Half fish, half goat, half horse … there’s too many halves to you, Ygritte.” He shook his head. “We wouldn’t need to swim, if this is the place I think. We could walk.”
她退后一步，瞪着他瞧。“在水上走？这是南方佬的哪门子巫术啊？”
She pulled back and gave him a look. “Walk on water? What southron sorcery is that?”
“不是巫——”他刚开口，便有一道巨大的闪电从天劈落，打在湖面上。刹那间，世界如正午般明亮。雷霆爆裂，耶哥蕊特惊呼一声，捂住耳朵。
“No sorc—” he began, as a huge bolt of lightning stabbed down from the sky and touched the surface of the lake. For half a heartbeat the world was noonday bright. The clap of thunder was so loud that Ygritte gasped and covered her ears.
“你看到没？”琼恩问，此时声音已滚向远方，夜晚再度黑暗，“看清了吗？”
“Did you look?” Jon asked, as the sound rolled away and the night turned black again. “Did you see?”
“黄色，”她说，“你指这个？顶上竖立的石头有些是黄色。”
“Yellow,” she said. “Is that what you meant? Some o’ them standing stones on top were yellow.”
“那些石头我们称之为‘城垛’。很久以前，它们被漆成金色。这里就叫‘后冠镇’。”
“We call them merlons. They were painted gold a long time ago. This is Queenscrown.”
湖对面那座塔又变回阴沉沉的模样，黯淡的影子依稀可见。“那儿曾住着一位王后？”耶哥蕊特问。
Across the lake, the tower was black again, a dim shape dimly seen. “A queen lived there?” asked Ygritte.
“一个王后在那儿住了一晚上。”故事是老奶妈讲的，但其中的梗概为鲁温学士所证实。“亚莉珊王后是‘仲裁者’杰赫里斯国王的妻子，他也被称为‘人瑞王’，因为统治时期有好几十年。但他坐上铁王座时还很年轻，喜欢周游全境。有一天，他带着王后、六条龙及半数廷臣来到临冬城，并跟北境守护商议国事，亚莉珊王后觉得无聊，因此乘她的龙‘银翼’飞到北方去看绝境长城。这个村子是她路过的地方之一。她走之后，百姓们将要塞顶涂成金色，使其看起来像是她跟他们共度那一晚所戴的金冠。”
“A queen stayed there for a night.” Old Nan had told him the story, but Maester Luwin had confirmed most of it. “Alysanne, the wife of King Jaehaerys the Conciliator. He’s called the Old King because he reigned so long, but he was young when he first came to the Iron Throne. In those days, it was his wont to travel all over the realm. When he came to Winterfell, he brought his queen, six dragons, and half his court. The king had matters to discuss with his Warden of the North, and Alysanne grew bored, so she mounted her dragon Silverwing and flew north to see the Wall. This village was one of the places where she stopped. Afterward the smallfolk painted the top of their holdfast to look like the golden crown she’d worn when she spent the night among them.”
“我没见过龙。”
“I have never seen a dragon.”
“没人见过。最后的巨龙一百多年前就死了。这是比那更早的事。”
“No one has. The last dragons died a hundred years ago or more. But this was before that.”
“你说她叫亚莉珊王后？”
“Queen Alysanne, you say?”
“人称她为‘善良的亚莉珊’。长城上有个城堡‘王后门’就是为她而命名的，那里从前叫‘风雪门’。”
“Good Queen Alysanne, they called her later. One of the castles on the Wall was named for her as well. Queensgate. Before her visit they called it Snowgate.”
“如果她真那么善良，就该把长城推倒。”
“If she was so good, she should have torn that Wall down.”
不，他心想，长城保护着王国全境，抵御异鬼……还有你们，亲爱的。“我有个朋友梦到过龙。他是个侏儒，他告诉我——”
No, he thought. The Wall protects the realm. From the Others … and from you and your kind as well, sweetling. “I had another friend who dreamed of dragons. A dwarf. He told me—”
“琼恩·雪诺！”一个皱紧眉头的瑟恩人出现在上方，“来，马格拿要。”琼恩觉得这就是攀登冰墙前夜在山洞外找到自己的那个人，但无法确定。他站起身，耶哥蕊特紧紧跟随——这点一直让斯迪不满。然而每次他要她离开，她总会回答：她是个女自由民，不是下跪之人，想来就来，想走就走。
“JON SNOW!” One of the Thenns loomed above them, frowning. “Magnar wants.” Jon thought it might have been the same man who’d found him outside the cave, the night before they climbed the Wall, but he could not be sure. He got to his feet. Ygritte came with him, which always made Styr frown, but whenever he tried to dismiss her she would remind him that she was a free woman, not a kneeler. She came and went as she pleased.
他们发现马格拿站在一棵从客栈大厅地板里长出来的树下，俘虏跪在壁炉前，周围是一圈亮出木长矛和青铜剑的瑟恩人。斯迪看琼恩走近，没有说话。积水沿墙流淌而下，雨点啪啪敲打仍附在树上的最后几片叶子，火堆里升起盘旋的浓烟。
They found the Magnar standing beneath the tree that grew through the floor of the common room. His captive knelt before the hearth, encircled by wooden spears and bronze swords. He watched Jon approach, but did not speak. The rain was running down the walls and pattering against the last few leaves that still clung to the tree, while smoke swirled thick from the fire.
“他必须死，”斯迪马格拿说，“你来动手，乌鸦。”
“He must die,” Styr the Magnar said. “Do it, crow.”
老人没说话。他只是站在野人中间望着琼恩。雨水和烟雾中，仅靠那火堆的光亮，加上披的羊皮斗篷，他不可能看清琼恩的黑衣。他究竟能看清吗？
The old man said no word. He only looked at Jon, standing amongst the wildlings. Amidst the rain and smoke, lit only by the fire, he could not have seen that Jon was all in black, but for his sheepskin cloak. Or could he?
琼恩拔出长爪。雨水冲刷着瓦雷利亚钢剑，火焰沿刃面反射出阴郁的橙光。燃起一小堆火，却要了这老人的性命。他记起断掌科林在风声峡说的话：火是生命之源，也是取死之道。然而那是霜雪之牙，长城外没有法律的荒野；这里是赠地，受守夜人和临冬城的保护。人们可以随意生火，不必因此而死。
Jon drew Longclaw from its sheath. Rain washed the steel, and the firelight traced a sullen orange line along the edge. Such a small fire, to cost a man his life. He remembered what Qhorin Halfhand had said when they spied the fire in the Skirling Pass. Fire is life up here, he told them, but it can be death as well. That was high in the Frostfangs, though, in the lawless wild beyond the Wall. This was the Gift, protected by the Night’s Watch and the power of Winterfell. A man should have been free to build a fire here, without dying for it.
“还犹豫什么？”斯迪说，“快动手！”
“Why do you hesitate?” Styr said. “Kill him, and be done.”
即使到这个关头，俘虏也没说话。他可以说“饶命！”或者“您们夺了我的马、我的钱和我的食物，就让我留下这条命吧！”或者“不，求求您，我没有做伤害您们的事！”……他还有其他上千种说法，或者哭泣，或者呼唤信仰的神灵。但什么言语都救不了他，或许正因为明白这点，所以老人闭上嘴巴，以谴责与控诉的眼光望向琼恩。
Even then the captive did not speak. “Mercy,” he might have said, or “You have taken my horse, my coin, my food, let me keep my life,” or “No, please, I have done you no harm.” He might have said a thousand things, or wept, or called upon his gods. No words would save him now, though. Perhaps he knew that. So he held his tongue, and looked at Jon in accusation and appeal.
不管要你做什么，都不准违抗，统统照办。与他们一起行军，与他们一起用餐，与他们一起作战……但眼前的老人毫无反抗。他不过是运气不好。他是谁？来自何方？要骑那可怜的驼背马去哪儿……在野人眼里，全都无关紧要。
You must not balk, whatever is asked of you. Ride with them, eat with them, fight with them … But this old man had offered no resistance. He had been unlucky, that was all. Who he was, where he came from, where he meant to go on his sorry sway-backed horse … none of it mattered.
他是个老人，琼恩告诉自己，五十岁，甚至有六十岁，比大多数人活得长。但瑟恩人会杀了他，不管我说什么或做什么都救不了。长爪仿佛比铅还重，难以提起。那人继续瞪他，眼睛像又大又黑的井。我会掉进这口井里淹死。马格拿也在看他，他几乎可以闻到猜疑的味道。这人一定会死，由我来杀，又有什么关系呢？只需利落一刀，用尽全身力气。长爪是瓦雷利亚钢铸成。跟“寒冰”一样。琼恩记起另一次行刑：逃兵跪在地上，脑袋滚落，雪地上明亮的鲜血……父亲的剑，父亲的话，父亲的脸……
He is an old man, Jon told himself. Fifty, maybe even sixty. He lived a longer life than most. The Thenns will kill him anyway, nothing I can say or do will save him. Longclaw seemed heavier than lead in his hand, too heavy to lift. The man kept staring at him, with eyes as big and black as wells. I will fall into those eyes and drown. The Magnar was looking at him too, and he could almost taste the mistrust. The man is dead. What matter if it is my hand that slays him? One cut would do it, quick and clean. Longclaw was forged of Valyrian steel. Like Ice. Jon remembered another killing; the deserter on his knees, his head rolling, the brightness of blood on snow … his father’s sword, his father’s words, his father’s face …
“动手，琼恩·雪诺，”耶哥蕊特催促，“你必须动手，证明自己不是乌鸦，而是自由民的一员。”
“Do it, Jon Snow,” Ygritte urged. “You must. T’ prove you are no crow, but one o’ the free folk.”
“杀一个火堆旁的老人？”
“An old man sitting by a fire?”
“欧瑞尔也在火堆旁，你杀他却很快。”她的眼神坚决而严肃。“你也打算杀我——尽管那时我还在睡觉——直到发现我是女人。”
“Orell was sitting by a fire too. You killed him quick enough.” The look she gave him then was hard. “You meant t’ kill me too, till you saw I was a woman. And I was asleep.”
“那不一样，你们是战士……是守望者。”
“That was different. You were soldiers … sentries.”
“对啊，你们乌鸦不愿让人发现，我们现在也一样。一样！快杀了他。”
“Aye, and you crows didn’t want t’ be seen. No more’n we do, now. It’s just the same. Kill him.”
他转身背对老人，“不。”
He turned his back on the man. “No.”
马格拿走上前，高大，冷酷，不怀好意。“我说要。我是指挥官。”
The Magnar moved closer, tall, cold, and dangerous. “I say yes. I command here.”
“你指挥瑟恩人，”琼恩告诉他，“管不了自由民。”
“You command Thenns,” Jon told him, “not free folk.”
“我没看到自由民，只看到乌鸦和乌鸦的老婆。”
“I see no free folk. I see a crow and a crow wife.”
“我不是乌鸦的老婆！”耶哥蕊特拔出匕首，快速跨出三步，抓住老人的头发，将脑袋向后一扳，割了喉咙，从一边耳朵划到另一边耳朵。即使死去时，那人也没出声。“你什么都不懂，琼恩·雪诺！”她冲他大喊，将染血的刀扔到他脚下。
“I’m no crow wife!” Ygritte snatched her knife from its sheath. Three quick strides, and she yanked the old man’s head back by the hair and opened his throat from ear to ear. Even in death, the man did not cry out. “You know nothing, Jon Snow!” she shouted at him, and flung the bloody blade at his feet.
马格拿用古语说了些什么，也许是要瑟恩人就地处决琼恩，但真相他已永远无法知晓。闪电陡然劈落，一道耀眼的蓝白光芒打在湖中央塔楼的顶端。他可以感觉到它炽烈的愤怒，雷声降临，震撼黑夜。
The Magnar said something in the Old Tongue. He might have been telling the Thenns to kill Jon where he stood, but he would never know the truth of that. Lightning crashed down from the sky, a searing blue-white bolt that touched the top of the tower in the lake. They could smell the fury of it, and when the thunder came it seemed to shake the night.
死亡咆哮着扑来。
And death leapt down amongst them.
闪电的强光令琼恩看不清楚，但在听见惨叫之前的刹那，他瞥到一个疾驰的影子。头一个瑟恩人死得和老人一样，血从撕裂的喉咙里涌出。然后闪光消失，影子转身，一声咆哮，又一人在黑暗中倒下。到处是咒骂、呼喊和痛苦的嚎叫。琼恩看见大疖子跌跌撞撞地向后倒去，撞翻了三个人。是白灵，他疯狂地想，白灵跳过长城来救我。接着，闪电又将黑夜变成白昼，他看到那头狼踩在德尔胸膛，黑乎乎的血从口中流下。灰的。他是灰的。
The lightning flash left Jon night-blind, but he glimpsed the hurtling shadow half a heartbeat before he heard the shriek. The first Thenn died as the old man had, blood gushing from his torn throat. Then the light was gone and the shape was spinning away, snarling, and another man went down in the dark. There were curses, shouts, howls of pain. Jon saw Big Boil stumble backward and knock down three men behind him. Ghost, he thought for one mad instant. Ghost leapt the Wall. Then the lightning turned the night to day, and he saw the wolf standing on Del’s chest, blood running black from his jaws. Grey. He’s grey.
黑暗随着隆隆雷声一起到来。狼在瑟恩人中穿梭，他们则用长矛乱刺。老人的母马被屠杀的气味刺激得发了狂，后腿人立，蹄子猛踢。长爪仍在手中，琼恩·雪诺突然意识到，不可能有比这更好的机会了。
Darkness descended with the thunderclap. The Thenns were jabbing with their spears as the wolf darted between them. The old man’s mare reared, maddened by the smell of slaughter, and lashed out with her hooves. Longclaw was still in his hand. All at once Jon Snow knew he would never get a better chance.
趁大家的注意力都在狼身上，他砍倒第一个，推开第二个，劈向第三个。狂乱之中，有人喊他的名字，但无法断定那是耶哥蕊特还是马格拿。奋力控制马匹的那位瑟恩人根本没看见他，而长爪轻若鸿毛。他挥剑砍向对方小腿，感觉到钢铁劈开骨头。野人倒下去时，母马冲了出去，琼恩左手抓紧鬃毛，一下子跃上马背。脚踝被手攫住，他向下猛砍，然后看到波吉的脸在血泊中消失。马儿人立，扬腿猛踢，击中某瑟恩人的太阳穴，发出“喀嚓”声响。
He cut down the first man as he turned toward the wolf, shoved past a second, slashed at a third. Through the madness he heard someone call his name, but whether it was Ygritte or the Magnar he could not say. The Thenn fighting to control the horse never saw him. Longclaw was feather-light. He swung at the back of the man’s calf, and felt the steel bite down to the bone. When the wildling fell the mare bolted, but somehow Jon managed to grab her mane with his off hand and vault himself onto her back. A hand closed round his ankle, and he hacked down and saw Bodger’s face dissolve in a welter of blood. The horse reared, lashing out. One hoof caught a Thenn in the temple, with a crunch.
随后人马开始狂奔。琼恩没有引导方向，只尽力伏在马背上，穿越泥沼、雨水和雷电。湿草抽打着脸，一支长矛从耳际飞过。若马跌断腿脚，他们便会追上来，把我杀死，他心想，但旧神与他同在，马儿没事。闪电划过黑暗的天顶，雷声在平原上翻滚，呐喊在身后减弱消失。
And then they were running. Jon made no effort to guide the horse. It was all he could do to stay on her as they plunged through mud and rain and thunder. Wet grass whipped at his face and a spear flew past his ear. If the horse stumbles and breaks a leg, they will run me down and kill me, he thought, but the old gods were with him and the horse did not stumble. Lightning shivered through the black dome of sky, and thunder rolled across the plains. The shouts dwindled and died behind him.
午夜后，雨停止，琼恩独自徘徊在高高的黑草海中，右大腿痛得厉害。他低头看去，惊讶地发现一支箭戳进大腿后面。什么时候的事？他抓住箭杆，拉了一下，但箭头深埋进肉中，越拔痛得越厉害。他试图回想客栈中狂乱的景象，但只能记起那头灰色的野兽，精瘦而可怖。它太大，不是普通的狼。冰原狼。只可能如此。他从没见过行为如此之快的动物。就像一阵灰色的风……难道罗柏回了北方？
Long hours later, the rain stopped. Jon found himself alone in a sea of tall black grass. There was a deep throbbing ache in his right thigh. When he looked down, he was surprised to see an arrow jutting out the back of it. When did that happen? He grabbed hold of the shaft and gave it a tug, but the arrowhead was sunk deep in the meat of his leg, and the pain when he pulled on it was excruciating. He tried to think back on the madness at the inn, but all he could remember was the beast, gaunt and grey and terrible. It was too large to be a common wolf. A direwolf, then. It had to be. He had never seen an animal move so fast. Like a grey wind … Could Robb have returned to the north?
琼恩摇摇头。找不到答案，难以思考……那头狼，那个老人，耶哥蕊特……这一切……
Jon shook his head. He had no answers. It was too hard to think … about the wolf, the old man, Ygritte, any of it …
他笨拙地滑下母马的背，受伤的腿顿时一软，令他不得不咽下尖叫。会很痛苦。然而箭必须弄出来，等待没有好处。于是琼恩握住箭羽，深吸一口气，往前推去。他闷哼，接着咒骂。实在太疼，做到一半就停了下来。我像头被屠宰的猪一样血流如注，他心想，但只能继续，别无选择。于是他满心不情愿地再度尝试……很快又颤抖着停止。再来一次。这次他喊叫出声，箭头总算从大腿前面穿了出去。琼恩将染血的裤子往后褪开，以便抓得更牢，然后皱紧了脸，缓缓将箭杆穿过腿部。他不知自己为何没有晕厥。
Clumsily, he slid down off the mare’s back. His wounded leg buckled under him, and he had to swallow a scream. This is going to be agony. The arrow had to come out, though, and nothing good could come of waiting. Jon curled his hand around the fletching, took a deep breath, and shoved the arrow forward. He grunted, then cursed. It hurt so much he had to stop. I am bleeding like a butchered pig, he thought, but there was nothing to be done for it until the arrow was out. He grimaced and tried again … and soon stopped again, trembling. Once more. This time he screamed, but when he was done the arrowhead was poking through the front of his thigh. Jon pushed back his bloody breeches to get a better grip, grimaced, and slowly drew the shaft through his leg. How he got through that without fainting he never knew.
之后，他抓着“战利品”，躺在地上，静静地流血。太虚弱，走不动。过了一会儿，他意识到如果不强迫自己动起来，很可能流血至死。于是琼恩爬到浅溪旁——母马正在那儿喝水——用冷水清洗大腿，然后从斗篷上扯下一条布，紧紧包扎起来。他把箭也洗了洗，拿在手里仔细观察。羽毛是灰的还是白的？耶哥蕊特用淡灰色鹅毛做箭羽。箭是她放的吗？他不能怪她。不知她是瞄准自己还是瞄准坐骑。若那母马倒下，我就完了。“幸亏腿挡在中间。”他喃喃道。
He lay on the ground afterward, clutching his prize and bleeding quietly, too weak to move. After a while, he realized that if he did not make himself move he was like to bleed to death. Jon crawled to the shallow stream where the mare was drinking, washed his thigh in the cold water, and bound it tight with a strip of cloth torn from his cloak. He washed the arrow too, turning it in his hands. Was the fletching grey, or white? Ygritte fletched her arrows with pale grey goose feathers. Did she loose a shaft at me as I fled? Jon could not blame her for that. He wondered if she’d been aiming for him or the horse. If the mare had gone down, he would have been doomed. “A lucky thing my leg got in the way,” he muttered.
他休息片刻，让马去吃草。它没游荡太远，真不错，否则他一瘸一拐地拖着伤腿，根本追不上。他好不容易才撑着自己站起来，爬上马背。之前我是怎么骑的，没马鞍，没马镫，手里还拿着一把剑？这又是一个无法回答的问题。
He rested for a while to let the horse graze. She did not wander far. That was good. Hobbled with a bad leg, he could never have caught her. It was all he could do to force himself back to his feet and climb onto her back. How did I ever mount her before, without saddle or stirrups, and a sword in one hand? That was another question he could not answer.
远处传来轻微而沉闷的雷声，但头顶的乌云已经散开。琼恩抬头搜寻，找到冰龙星座，然后调转马头，向着北方的长城和黑城堡进发。膝盖顶上老人的马，大腿肌肉便一阵剧痛，令他抽搐。回家了，他告诉自己。如果真是这样，为何心底如此空洞？
Thunder rumbled softly in the distance, but above him the clouds were breaking up. Jon searched the sky until he found the Ice Dragon, then turned the mare north for the Wall and Castle Black. The throb of pain in his thigh muscle made him wince as he put his heels into the old man’s horse. I am going home, he told himself. But if that was true, why did he feel so hollow?
他一直骑到黎明，繁星如无数只眼睛，向下俯视。
He rode till dawn, while the stars stared down like eyes.
