1 Don't mutitask
Be present/Be in that moment.
Don't think about your argument you had with your boss.Don't think about what you're going to have for dinner.If you want to get out of the conversation, get out of the conversation, but don't be half in it and half out of it.
2 Don't pontification
If you want to state your opinion without any opportunity for response or argument or pushback or growth, write a blog.
You need to enter every conversion assuming that you have something to learn.
The famed therapist M.Scott Peck said that true listerning requires a setting aside of oneself. And sometimes that means settings aside your personal opinion.
Bill Nye:"Everyone you will ever meet knows something that you don't".
Everybody is an expert in something.
3 Use open-ended questions
In this case, take a cue from journalists. Start your questions with who, what, when, whose, why or how.
If you put in a complicated question, you're going to get a simple answer out.
Let them describe it. They're the ones that know.
They might have to stop for a moment and think about it, and you're going to get a much more intersting response.
4 Go with the flow
That means thoughts will come into your mind, and you need to let them go out of your mind.
Stories and ideas are going to come to you. You need let them come and let them go.
5 If you don't know, say you don't know
Err on the side of caution.(谨言慎行)
Talk should not be cheap.
6 Don't equate your experience with theirs.
All experience are individual. And more importantly, it is not about you.
Somebody asked Stephen Hawking once what his IQ was, and he said, "I have no idea. People who brag about their IQs are losers."
7 Try not to repeat your self.
It's condescending, and it's really boring.
8 Stay out of weeds.
Frankly, people don't care about the years, the names, the dates, all those details that you're struggling to come up with in your mind.
Forget the details, let them out.
9 Listen.
If you mouth is open, you're not learning.
Calvin Covlidge said, "No man ever listened his way out of a job."
Stephen Covey said it very beautifully. He said, "Most of us don't listen with the intent to understand, We listen with the intent to reply"
10 Be brief
A good conversation is like a miniskirt; short enough to retain interest, but long enough to cover the subject.
Be interested in other people.
Go out, talk to people, listen to people, and most importantly, be prepared to be amazed.
