RESISTANCE AND THE CHOICE OF A MATE
Sometimes, if we’re not conscious of our own Resistance, we’ll pick as a mate someone who has or is successfully overcoming Resistance. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s easier to endow our partner with the power that we in fact possess but are afraid to act upon. Maybe it’s less threatening to believe that our beloved spouse is worthy to live out his or her unlived life, while we are not. Or maybe we’re hoping to use our mate as a model. Maybe we believe (or wish we could) that some of our spouse’s power will rub off on us, if we just hang around it long enough.
This is how Resistance disfigures love. The stew it creates is rich, it’s colorful; Tennessee Williams could work it up into a trilogy. But is it love? If we’re the supporting partner, shouldn’t we face our own failure to pursue our unlived life, rather than hitchhike on our spouse’s coattails? And if we’re the supported partner, shouldn’t we step out from the glow of our loved one’s adoration and instead encourage him to let his own light shine?
生词：
endow：赠予
disfigure：破坏
hitchhike on sb's coattails：搭便车
抵制与择偶
有时候，如果我们没有意识到自己的抗拒，我们会选择一个已经或正在成功克服抗拒的伴侣。我不知道为什么。也许把我们实际上拥有但却不敢付诸行动的力量赠予我们的伴侣会更容易一些。也许，相信我们深爱的配偶值得过他（她）的未活过的生活不那么吓人，而我们却不是。或者也许我们希望用我们的伴侣作为榜样。也许我们相信(或希望)配偶的某些力量会对我们产生影响，只要我们坚持得足够久。
这就是抵抗如何破坏爱。它创造的形式丰富多彩;田纳西·威廉姆斯(Tennessee Williams)可以将其改编成三部曲。但这是爱吗?如果我们是去支持的伴侣，比起搭配偶的便车，难道我们不应该直面我们自己的失败，去追求我们没有活过的生活?如果我们是被支持的伴侣，难道我们不应该从所爱之人的崇拜中走出来，鼓励他闪耀自己的光芒吗?
