这是我最喜欢的文章之一,在这里与大家分享。
Love means that I know the person I love. I'm aware of the many sides of the other person--not just the beautiful side but also the limitations, inconsistencies and flaws.
Love means that I care about the welfare of the person I love. If I care about you, I'm concerned about your growth, and I hope you will become all that you can become.
Love means having respect for the dignity of the person I love. If I love you, I can see you as a separate person, with your own values and thoughts and feelings, and I do not insist that you surrender your identity and conform to an image of what I expect you to be for me.
Love means having a responsibility toward the person I love. If I love you, I'm responsive to most of your major needs as a person.
Love means growth for both myself and the person I love. If I love you, I am growing as a result of my love. You are a stimulant for me to become more fully what I might become, and my loving enhances your being as well.
Love means making a commitment to the person I love. This commitment does not entail surrendering our total selves to each other; nor does it imply that the relationship is necessarily permanent. It does entail a willingness to stay with each other in times of pain, uncertainty, struggle, and despair, as well as in times of calm and enjoyment.
Love means trusting the person I love. If I love you, I trust that you will accept my caring and my love and that you won't deliberately hurt me. I trust the reciprocal nature of our love.
Love can tolerate imperfection. In a love relationship there are times of boredom, times when I may feel like giving up, times of real strain, and times I experience an impasse. Authentic love does not imply enduring happiness. I can stay during rough times, however, because I can remember what we had together in the past, and I can picture what we will have together in our future if we care enough to face our problems and work them through.
Love is freeing. Love is freely given, not doled out on demand. Authentic love is not given with strings attached. There is an unconditional quality about love.
Love is expansive. If I love you, I encourage you to reach out and develop other relationships. The honest evidence of our love is our commitment to encouraging another's full development.
Love means having a want for the person I love without having a need for that person in order to be complete. If I am nothing without you, then I'm not really free to love you.
Love means identifying with the person I love. If I love you, I can empathize with you and see the world through your eyes. I can identify with you because I'm able to see myself in you and you in me. This closeness does not imply a continual "togetherness", for distance and separation are sometimes essential in a loving relationship. Distance can intensify a loving bond, and it can help us rediscover ourselves, so that we are able to meet each other in a new way.
Love is selfish. I can only love you if I genuinely love, value, appreciate, and respect myself. If I am empty, the all I can give you is my emptiness. If I feel that I'm complete and worthwhile in myself, then I'm able to give you out of my fullness. One of the best ways for me to give you love is by fully enjoying myself with you.
Love involves seeing the potential within the person we love. In my love for another, I view her or him as the person she or he can become, while still accepting who and what the person is now.
Mature love is union under the condition of preserving one's integrity, one's individuality. In love this paradox occurs that two beings become one and yet remain two.
爱意味着我了解我所爱的人。我了解对方的诸多方面--不仅仅是美好的一面，而且包括不足之处，矛盾之处以及各种缺点。
爱，指的是关心我所爱的人的幸福。如果我真关心你，就会关心你的成长，并希望你在一切可能的范围内成全自己。
爱，指的是维护我所爱的人的尊严。假如我爱你，我就会把你看成一个具有自己的价值观，思想和感情的独立的人，而不会要求你为了我而改变你的个性和屈从于我对你的期待。
爱，指的是对我所爱的人有责任心。假如我爱你，我会把你看成一个有独立个性的人，对你的多数重要需求作出反应。
爱，指的是我和我所爱的人能从中共同获取成长的力量。假如我爱你，我就会因我的爱而在不断成长。你将会激励我更充分地发展我的潜能，而我对你的爱也将进一步完善你的整个人生。
爱，指的是对我所爱的人做出某种承诺。这种承诺并非指我们之间要完全屈从于对方，也不暗指我们之间的关系一定要永久不变。它实指我们必须相互依存的决心，不管是在平静和欢乐的日子还是在痛苦、迷茫、挣扎和失望的时候，都不分离。
爱，指的是信任我所爱的人。假如我爱你，我就会相信你会接受我的关怀和我的爱，也相信你不会故意伤害我。我相信我们之间的爱有一种天然的互补性。
爱，须能容忍不完美。在相爱的过程中，肯定会出现厌烦的时候，有我想放弃的时候，有十分紧张的时候，亦有我感到无望的时候。真爱并不一定会有持久的幸福。然而，在厄境中我会坚持下去，因为我能记起我们在过去共同拥有的美好时光，也能预见，假如我们对自己的问题给予足够的重视并加以解决，我们会有光明的前景。
爱，是自愿的。爱只能是无偿地献出，而不是在需要时赊与。真爱的付出绝对没有任何附加条件，无条件才是它的品质。
爱，是敞开的。假如我爱你，我会鼓励你向外发展并建立其他人际关系。鼓励对方去充分发展自己才是两人相爱的真实证明。
爱，指的是渴望得到我所爱的人，而不是因为缺了对方自己就会不完整。假如缺少你我就无法生存，那么我就不会真有能力去爱你。
爱，指的是理解我所爱的人。假如我爱你，我会与你产生情感共鸣并能通过你的眼睛看世界。我之所以能理解你是因为你中有我，我中有你。此种亲密并不意味着两人一刻不能分离，因为离别和距离有时候在两人爱的关系中是必要的。距离能加强爱的纽带，能帮助我们重新发现自己，因此我们能以某种新的方式认识对方。
爱是自我的。只有当我真正地爱自己、珍惜自己、欣赏并尊重自己，我才能爱你。假如我空虚，那么我能给予你的也只能是空虚。假如我觉得自己充实完整并活得有价值，那么我也能给予你的就是充实完整。我爱你地最佳方式之一就是与你一起分享我的一切。
爱，指的是能看清我们所爱的人内在的潜力。爱一个人时，我会一面接受对方的现状，一面把对方看成将来能成为的那种人。
成熟的爱指的是在保持个人完整独立性的前提下所形成的统一。合而为一，却又一分为二，这就是爱中似是而非的矛盾现象。
