We learnt a lot about communications in Toastmasters / through Pathways, like: active listening, to persuade, to encourage, to inspire, to motivate, evaluation and feedback, mentoring, etc. it takes a long journey to gain communication skills. but there isn't a theory that summarizes communication skills highly in Toastmasters. Yesterday night, I got one: Johari Window.
Johari Window was originally created by Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham in 1955 as a tool to help people understand their interpersonal communication and relationships. 4 areas exist:
Public/open area: what others know about you and you know too. Public / famous figures got the biggest public area, as they show up often in different occasions. the best communication happens when public area is biggest. as the more you know about yourself and the more other people know about you, the more you can communicate on the same wavelength. by asking for feedbacks you can simultaneously increase public area and reduce blind area.
wavelength n. 波长
blind area: what other people know about you, but you don't. like you disadvantages. people usually don't tell you, as you may get uncomfortable, unacceptable, even angry about it. it's a normal response when you a negative stimulate. But as a human, we can choose to be proactive, we can give a positive response to a negative stimulate by exerting human's 4 gifts: self-awareness, imagination, conscience, independent will. Strive to accept others' point-blank suggestions, it's a fabulous opportunity for you to get improvements.
exert /ɪɡ'zɝt/ vt. 运用，发挥；施以影响
point-blank adj. 断然的；直截了当的；近距离平射的 adv. 直射地；断然地；直截了当地
private/hidden area: what others don't know about you, but you do. it's your secrets. there are 3 levels in hidden area:
- 3rd level: Deep Dark Secret(DDS). You don't have to disclose it if you are not ready, disclosure DDS is based on deep mutual trust/understanding which requires long-term continuing invest in each others‘ emotional bank account.
disclose /dɪs'kloz/ vt. 公开，揭露 n. disclosure
mutual /'mjutʃuəl/ adj. 共同的，相互的，彼此的
- 2nd level: secrets/things you are not brave or shy to tell, like your dissatisfaction to colleagues, your adore to someone, some skills you don't have chance to present. Sometimes it's tacit.
tacit /'tæsɪt/ adj. 缄默的；不言而喻的；心照不宣的；默许的
- 1st level: secrets/things you forget to tell or you choose not to tell. like lack of love expression between parents and kids under Chinese education system which may bring communication barriers.
self-disclosure is a good way to decrease hidden area. be brave to tell your secrets/stories, you can build authentic trust with others.
Unknown area: what others don't know about you and you don't know either. it's the biggest area. Unknown is equal to potential. Explore what you never tried, wonders may happen.
to conclude:
- by asking for feedbacks, blind area can be shrunk to enlarge public area;
- by disclosing yourself, hidden area can be shrunk to enlarge public area;
- explore unknown area, new life may be perceived.
Keep this model in mind and practice, you can be a better communicator.
