2.2 Telling Stories

2.3 The First Two Principles of Clear Writing

Storytelling is fundamental to human behavior. No other form of prose can communicate large amounts of information so quickly and persuasively. （讲故事是人类的基本行为，没有任何表达方式可以像讲故事一样如此高效地传递信息）

But even prose that may seem wholly discursive and abstract usually has behind it the two central components of a story: characters and their actions. （即便是学术或专业性写作，都会包含角色和角色做出的行动）

清楚地界定主要角色以及他们的行动，是清晰表达的基本要求。试比较以下两个例子：

1. Though the Governor knew that the cities needed new revenues to improve schools, he vetoed the budget bill because he wanted to encourage cities to increase local taxes.

2. Despite his knowledge of the need by cities for new revenues for the improvement of their schools, the Governor executed a veto of the budget bill to give encouragement to the cities for an increase of local taxes.

例句2将1中的多个动词名词化，即弱化了角色的行动，整体读起来就显得不太清晰，有力。

基于故事化表达的需求，作者首次提出两个写作的原则：

(1) the subjects of the sentences name the cast of characters；（主语要表明故事的主要角色）

(2) the verbs that go with those subjects name the crucial actions those characters are part of.（紧跟主语的动词要传达出角色的行动）

试比较以下两个例子：

1b. Our lack of knowledge about local conditions precluded determination of committee action effectiveness in fund allocation to those areas in greatest need of assistance.

1a. Because we knew nothing about local conditions, we could not determme how effectively the committee had alIocated funds to areas that most needed assistance.

例句1b的主要角色是什么呢？不清楚，有可能是"We"，也可能是“Our lack of knowledge”， 还可能是“committee”。行动只有一个很弱的动词“precluded ”。这个句子完全违背了上述两条原则，表意不明，属于典型的不清晰的表达。

例句1a，可以很清楚的看出主要角色包括"We"，"committee ","areas "，行动包括“knew”，“determme ”,"alIocated ","needed "，主语表明主要角色，动词传达出角色的行动，读起来表意清晰，符合上述两条原则。

基于这两个原则，作者给出了两条修改文章的建议：

1. First, locate the cast of characters and the actions that those characters perform (or are the objects of). If you find that those characters are not subjects and their actions are not verbs, revise so that they are.（首先找到主要角色和它们的行动，如果主要角色不是主语，角色的行为没有通过动词传达，那么修改至用主语表示主要角色，动词表示角色的行动为止）

2. But even when we don't feel anything wrong with our own prose, others often do, so we ought to do something that will let us anticipate that judgment. A quick method is simply to run a line under the first five or six words of every sentence. If you find that (1) you have to go more than six or seven words into a sentence to get past the subject to the verb and (2) the subject of the sentence is not one of your characters, take a hard look at that sentence; its characters and actions probably do not align with subjects and verbs. （人们通常无法察觉自己文章中的问题，所以作者提出了一个快速检查自己文章的方法：在每句话的前6-7个单词下画线，如果发现还没有将主语和动词联系起来，或者主语不是故事的主要角色，那么就应该仔细的检查一下这个句子了，很有可能主语和动词没有和主要角色和它们的行动一一匹配起来）