前情提要

Previously on Desperate Housewives...

丹妮尔回家了

Danielle came back home.

莱内特为孩子们担心...

Lynette was afraid for her children...

感觉像是我毁了他们的童年

It feels like I've ruined their childhood.

凯瑟琳的过往...  - 我们知道在芝加哥发生的事

Katherine's past...  - We know all about chicago.

再次回来困扰她  - 哦 很好 我们达成一致 喷泉留下

Came back to haunt her.  - Oh, good. We're in agreement. The fountain stays.

伊迪搞威胁...

Edie made threats...

如果国税局发现了你的秘密金库

If the I.R.S. gets wind of your rainy day fund,

他们会让我指证你的

They could make me testify against you.

不过逃避行动开始了

But evasive action was taken.

我也想和你在一起

I want us to be together, too,

但我更想高高兴兴地在一起

But I also wanna feel good about it.

加布和卡洛斯终止了偷情...

And Gaby and Carlos ended their affair...

可太迟了

Too late.

能用现金付款吗

Could you make it out to "cash"?

还是个小女孩时

As a little girl,

伊迪·布利特就害怕很多东西

Edie Britt was afraid of many things,

附近的小男孩都知道这一点

And all the little boys in her neighborhood knew this.

所以他们会躲起来  拿着橡胶蛇

So they would wait for her with rubber snakes

和呱呱叫的青蛙

And croaking frogs...

以及塑料蜘蛛

And plastic spiders,

期望看到她大喊大叫

Hoping to make Edie scream.

但长大后

But once she was a big girl,

伊迪·布利特只害怕一件事...

Edie Britt was afraid of only one thing--

那就是她的情人会因为第三者

That her lover might leave her

弃她而去

For someone else,

而卡洛斯·索利斯深知这一点

And Carlos Solis knew this.

所以下定决心后  他就赶忙抓紧时间走...

So when he decided to go, he tried to do it quickly...

这是怎么回事?

What the hell is this?

主要是以防她大喊大叫

Mostly to avoid her screaming.

这么长一段时间过来  我们根本不合适

It just hasn't been working for a long, long time.

你说谎  我们在一起很开心

That's a lie. We were happy.

别这样 我们不要吵

Come on. Let's not argue.

我希望不做恋人还能做朋友

I want us to end this as friends.

你肯定希望  因为我知道你的财政秘密

I bet you do, given all I know about your finances.

没错  你知道我的一些秘密

That's true. You know some of my secrets,

但我打赌你不会说的  因为你还在乎我

But i'm betting you still care enough about me to keep them.

好吧

All right.

我不会对任何人说任何

I won't say anything to anyone

关于你在开曼群岛那帐户的事

About your money in the Grand Caymans

但有一个条件

On one condition--

你必须说实话到底为何离开我

You have to tell me the truth about why you're leaving.

实话?

The truth?

是不是有第三者?

Is there someone else?

没有

No.

谢谢你  卡洛斯

Thank you, Carlos

你让一切变得简单多了

You made this a lot easier.

伊迪·布利特被迫面对她最大的恐惧

Yes, Edie Britt had been forced to face her worst fear,

现在她认为只有这么做才算扯平

And she now felt it was only fair...

你好

我知道一个人

Um, I know a guy who's got millions

在海外银行账户上有几百万存款

In a offshore bank account.

我该向谁汇报?

Who would I talk to about that?

那就是让卡洛斯来面对他的

That Carlos should face his.

美国国税局

绝望的主妇 第四季第6集

又到了一年一度的万圣节

Yes, it was that time of year.

紫藤郡充满节日的气氛

Halloween had come once again to Wisteria Lane,

没有人比刚搬来的同志夫妇

And no one was more determined to celebrate its arrival

更想庆祝这个节日了

Than the gay couple who had just moved in.

我们该先邀请哪家邻居?

So which of the neighbors should we invite first?

有什么区别?  他们都讨厌我们

What does it matter? They all hate us?

李  不是这样的  他们讨厌的是你

Oh, Lee , that's not true. They hate you.

我是那个他们喜欢的有男子气概的那个

I'm the butch one they can feel comfortable around.

- 你继续自欺欺人吧  - 我们从布里开始

You keep telling yourself that.  - Let's start with Bree .

她有个同志儿子  我相信她对同志会很友好的

She's got a gay son. I bet she's homo-friendly.

为何?  我妈也有一个  但她就排斥

Why? My mother has one, and she's not.

嗨

哦 你们好

我们顺便过来告诉你

We're just dropping by to let you know

我们要办个万圣节晚会  希望你们能来

We're having a halloween party. We'd love for you to come.

谢谢  奥森和我会很荣幸前往

Oh, well, thank you. Orson and I would be delighted.

如果你愿意  你们可以全家一起来

Well, you can bring your whole family if you like.

那是你女儿吗

Is that your daughter?

不  我女儿在瑞士

Uh, no, my daughter is in Switzerland,

在一所寄宿学校

At boarding school.

那刚才那是谁?

Who was that?

是我儿子...

My son...

在试他的服装

Trying on his costume.

他今年要扮成大明星雪儿(Cher 美国巨星)

He's going to be Cher this year.

好的 我们一定得邀请他

Okay, he's definitely invited.

跟你说了多少次离窗户远点?

How many times have I told you to stay away from the windows?

我很无聊  你不让我出门

I'm bored. You won't let me go outside.

-连看看都不行吗  -那是什么?

Can't I at least look? What's that?

鲍勃和李邀请我们去参加万圣节晚会

Oh, we've been invited to Bob and Lee 's for halloween.

化妆晚会  酷!  我能去吗

A costume party. Cool. Can I go?

你疯了?

Are you insane?

是万圣节啊  我会扮成个南瓜

It's halloween. I'll go as a pumpkin.

还有三周你就临产了

You are due in three weeks.

在那之前不许靠近窗户也不能参加晚会

Until then, no windows and no parties.

这么说...这会挺有趣

So... This is gonna be fun.

你能帮我准备套服装吗?

Will you help me with a costume?

当然

Sure!

你对70年代的流行打扮了解多少?

How familiar are you with pop icons from the '70s?

维克托  是我  我收到你的留言了

Victor, it's me. I got your message.

坦白讲  我很不爽

I've gotta be honest, I'm very annoyed

因为你说好今天回家的

That you're not coming home today like you promised.

我说过有很重要的事情要和你讲

I told you I have something very important to tell you,

我想和你面对面说

And I wanted to do it in person,

但一周之内你都回不来

But now you're gonna be home for another week,

我没法等了

And I can't wait.

维克托  我要离开你了

Victor, I'm leaving you.

我...真不敢相信我会用旅馆的答录机

I... Can't believe I'm ending my marriage

来结束我的婚姻

On a hotel voice mail.

太俗了

This is very tacky.

维克托  是你逼我这么俗的

You're forcing me to be tacky, Victor .

我可不是俗人  我是非常非常高雅的

I am not a tacky person. I am very, very classy.

稍等

Oh! Hang on one second.

你好  卡洛斯  我现在不和你说

Hello? Hey, Carlos . Yeah, I can't talk right now.

我正在和维克托分手

I'm breaking up with Victor.

不  他不在这  他在华盛顿

No, he's not here. He's in washington.

好  我回头再跟你解释

Yeah, okay, I'll explain later.

真抱歉  维克托

Sorry about that, Victor .

无论如何  我们完了

Uh, anyway, it's over.

我们都清楚彼此并不适合

Uh, we both know it wasn't working.

祝你万事如意

Uh, good luck on everything,

不用回电话了

And you don't have to call me back.

好  别了

Okay, bye-bye.

我的医生竟然建议我来做遗传咨询

I was surprised that my doctor suggested genetic counseling.

我上次怀孩子的时候就没做

I didn't have to do that with my last baby.

你上次怀孕

Well, you were 26 when you had

是26岁

your last child.

而现在你...

Now you're--

小心

Careful.

已经有资格

Old enough to benefit

从这项特别的医学分支中获益

From this particular branch of medicine.

救得不错

Nice save.

我们不谈过去了

Now can we just skip to the part

谈谈我的孩子有什么问题可以吗

Where you tell me what's wrong with my baby?

我们不知道是否有任何问题

Well, we don't know if anything's wrong.

我们只是要了解一下你的家族病史

See, we're just going over your family medical history

只是...为了安全起见

Just--just to be on the safe side.

好  我姑妈艾拉有关节炎

Okay. My aunt Ella has arthritis.

我有两个堂兄是蛙掌

I have two cousins with webbed feet,

我父亲那边很多人长副乳

And there's a whole lot of third nipples on my dad's side.

看来我和马戏团的家伙结婚了

Apparently, I married into Carny Folk.

(Carny Folk:很恐怖的马戏团小丑 有一双小手 闻起来像卷心菜)

好了  麦克  你家呢

Okay, Mike , what about your family?

每个人都挺健康

Everybody's pretty healthy.

我奶奶有癫痫症

Uh, my grandmother has epilepsy.

我父亲有高血压

My father had high blood pressure,

但他现在吃着药呢  所以挺好的

But he's on medication, so it's fine now.

你说"挺好的"是什么意思?  他不是死了

What do you mean, "it's fine now"? He's dead.

没有  你怎么会这么想

No, he's not. What makes you think that?

因为我们一开始约会时你是这么说的

Cause that's what you told me when we first started dating.

如果我让你这么以为了  真是抱歉

Oh. Well, I'm sorry if I gave you that impression.

不是我以为

It wasn't an impression.

你说过这句话..."我父亲死了"

You said those words-- "my father's dead."

这有点...复杂

It's... Complicated.

怎么会复杂呢  他要么活着要么死了

How can it be complicated? He's either dead or alive.

米歇尔  对你来说复杂吗

Does it sound complicated to you, Michelle ?

噢 呃...

抱歉  我有个紧急的水管活

Wow, I'm sorry. I-I've got an emergency plumbing call.

我得以后再来了  不用熬夜等我

I'm gonna have to do this later. Uh, don't wait up.

这么说  麦克的奶奶有癫痫症?

Okay, so, um, Mike 's grandmother is epileptic?

是的

Yeah.

但看起来他父亲能起死回生

But apparently, his dad can rise from the dead.

所以希望那基因能遗传给孩子吧

So let's hope the baby gets that gene.

正电子放射扫描做得怎么样?

Hey. How'd the P.E.T. scan go?

(PET:正电子发射型计算机断层摄影)

她可真是老手

She was a real trouper

在那里面待了20分钟  吭都没吭一声

20 minutes inside that tube, she didn't complain once.

过两天就知道到底有没有干掉这该死的病魔了

In a couple of days, we'll know if you beat this son of a bitch.

拉什顿医生对此非常乐观

Hey, Dr. Rushton is very optimistic.

太棒了  他是最好的医生

Fantastic. He's the best.

这样如何  我翘班

Hey, what do you say I ditch work,

然后带你去...泰式餐厅吃午餐?  勒奈特?

And I take you to that... ThaI place for lunch? Lynette?

-那是个洞吗  -什么

Is that a hole? What?

在花园里  有人在这儿掘过吗

In the garden there. Has something been digging in there?

可能是只负鼠

Oh, it might be a possum. Ahem.

我那天见过一只

I-I saw one the other day.

你看见一只负鼠却没告诉我?

You saw a possum, and you didn't tell me?

我不知道这是头版头条

Didn't know it was front-page news.

我们得想想办法

Well, we gotta do something about this.

我们会的  你是想带着孩子们一起

And we will, so do you want to bring the kids,

还是更想

Or would you prefer

只和我一个人共进一顿愉快浪漫的午餐?  -我现在吃不下  汤姆

A, uh, gloriously romantic lunch with just me? -I can't eat right now, Tom .

我得去园艺中心弄些栅栏

I've got to go to the garden center and get some fencing.

天啊  真气人

God, this is annoying!

难以置信  有只负鼠你们竟然不告诉我

Can't believe you didn't tell me we have a possum!

你  你醒了

Oh, you're, um, you're up.

我还想尽量不吵醒你

I was just gonna try not to wake you.

不解释清楚你奇怪的行为

Did you really think I was gonna let you crawl in bed next to me

你真以为我会让你和我睡一张床

Without an explanation for your bizarre behavior?

真是个好梦

Well, what good's a dream

如果是真的就好了

if it's not a little unrealistic?

我不管是什么问题

I don't care what the issues are.

你没否认你老爹还活着的事实

You don't deny your own dad's existence.

我父亲因为谋杀进监狱了

My father's in prison for murder.

现在你明白我为什么在一开始约会的时候

So can you see why I might have wanted to lie about him

就选择撒谎了吧

On a first date?

天啊

Oh, My God.

他因为谋杀进监狱了?

He's in jail for murder?

是的

Yeah.

他被判终身监禁且不得假释

He's doing life without parole.

你去看过他吗  我指你还和他有联系吗

Do you see him? I mean, do you have a relationship with him?

一年去看几次

Uh, I visit a few times a year.

我得去见见他

Well, I've got to meet him.

- 不 我可不认为这是个好主意 - 但他是你父亲

No, I don't think that's such a good idea. - Well, he's your father.

我应该了解一下他  另外遗传咨询师说

I should know him, and besides, that genetic counselor said

我们应该收集你的家族病史

we should gather data about your family's history.

也许你父亲知道些你不知道的事情

Maybe you dad knows something you don't.

我是说  为了孩子我也该去见见他

I mean, I should meet him for the sake of our baby.

好吧  我们去见他

Well, yeah. Fine. We'll go see him.

谢谢

Thank you.

妈妈  当医生宣布你痊愈的时候

Mom! We're gonna bake you a cake

我们要给你烤个蛋糕

When the doctor says your cancer's gone.

太好了  拿着这个

Great. Here. Grab this.

这是干吗的?

What's this stuff for?

你知道毁坏我们花园的那只负鼠吗?

You know that possum that's been ruining our garden?

知道  我和普雷斯顿叫它斯科鲁夫

Yeah, me and Preston named him Scruffles .

别给它取名  它在这里待不长了

Don't give him a name. He's not gonna be around much longer.

你不会伤害它的 对吗?

You're not gonna hurt him, are you?

宝贝  我搭篱笆而它在下面挖洞

Honey, I put up a fence, and he burrowed right under it.

园艺中心的人说它们非常狡猾

The man at the garden center said these are crafty creatures,

只有一个办法可以阻止它们

And there's only one way to stop 'em.

所以你要杀了它?

So you're gonna kill him?

宝贝  我来问你

Sweetie, let me ask you something.

如果在妈妈漂亮的花园

If you had to choose between mommy's beautiful garden

和肥胖  狡猾  肮脏的负鼠间选择一个

And a gross, mean, dirty possum,

你会选谁?

What would you pick?

斯科鲁夫

Scruffles.

好吧 我们没什么好说的了

Okay, we're done talking here.

你要再把我送回修道院?

You're sending me back to the convent?

显然你在这儿也不开心 所以我想

Well, you certainly don't seem happy here, and I thought

你可能想念那里的修女和其他女孩们了

Maybe you were missing the nuns and the other girls.

噢，太好了，一群不要脸的婊子和没结婚的变态

Oh, whoopee. Knocked-up sluts and celibate freaks.

正好开派对

Start the party.

随便了 我不管了  我只想把它从我身上弄出去

Whatever. I don't care. I just want this thing out of me.

丹妮尔  我只想让你意识到

You know, Danielle , I just want you to be aware

放弃这个孩子也许比你想象的要难得多

That giving up this baby might be harder than you think.

相信我  这根本不是什么问题

It won't be a problem. Trust me.

你现在这么说  但一旦你抱着孩子

Well, you say that now, but once you've held your child

感觉那种突如其来的母爱...

And felt that rush of love, well...

是会改变你的

It can change you.

拜托  我讨厌这个孩子

Please. I hate this baby.

对我没有一点好处  只会让我发胖

What has it done but make me fat

毁了我整整一年的生活

And ruin an entire year of my life?

我只是说换作是我的话  我会觉得...

I'm just saying, if I were you, I might be feeling--

别说了  谁说我就非得跟你感受一样

Stop. Who says I have to feel the same things you'd feel?

我跟你一点都不一样

I'm nothing like you.

你说这些的时候总觉得好像很自豪似的

You always say that like it's something to be proud of,

但是当我终于意识到你开始长大了的那一天

But the day I see even a glimmer of myself in you

就是你身上开始体现出

is the day that I realize

哪怕我一丝优点的那一天

you've finally started... to grow up.

你别想得美

Well, don't hold your breath.

不  我还是觉得

No, on second thought,

你想吧

Do.

你好  加布丽尔

Hello, Gabrielle

弥尔顿...你吓我一跳

Milton... You scared me.

我以为你和维克托在华盛顿呢

I thought you were in washington with Victor .

我是的 我先听到了留言

I was. I got to the messages first.

你不能离开他加布丽尔

Oh. You can't leave him, Gabrielle .

如果他真的想把我留下来

Well, if he really wanted me to stay,

他就会自己来  而不是把爸爸派到我这

He would've come here himself, instead of siccing daddy on me.

维克托没有听到留言

Oh, Victor hasn't heard the message.

- 我删掉了 - 噢 好极了

I erased it. - Oh, great.

我得重新跟他分一次手了

Now I have to break up with him all over again.

你知道,关于维克托竞选州长

You know, there's a lot of talk

有许许多多流言蜚语

About Victor running for governor.

在竞选活动前的离婚会是...

A divorce on the eve of a campaign could be...

毁灭性的

quite damaging.

所以你不远千里来强迫我不离婚？

And you flew all the way here to twist my arm?

不  我带了点薄礼  请不要介意

No, I had something a little more subtle in mind.

弥尔顿  再多的钱也不会... 哇!

Milton, there is no amount of money that is--wow!

好了 你一旦开始数那些零

Yeah. You start tacking on those zeros,

就会发现停不下来了

It gets hard to stop.

等一下

Hold on.

这张支票的日期是明年

This check is dated for next year.

是的

Exactly.

如果你想得到这笔钱

If you want this money, you're gonna have

就得继续和我儿子保持13个月的婚姻关系

to stay married to my son for the next 13 months.

到时候还会有次选举吗？

And isn't there an election around that time?

我儿子是注定要做一番大事业的

My son is destined for greatness.

他会当上州长的

He will be governor.

他将来也许会成为总统

He could be president.

而你要保证他

And you're going to make sure

一路走向顶峰  对么？

He goes straight to the top, aren't you?

有时候 做大事业需要有人从后面推波助澜

Sometimes greatness needs a little nudge.

你说什么都没有是什么意思?

What do you mean, there's nothing there?

我很抱歉  布利特小姐

I'm sorry, Ms. Britt.

你给我的那个账号  我查了三次

I checked the number you gave me three times.

那个海外的账户是不存在的

That offshore account simply doesn't exist.

那一千万美金哪去了？

Where is that $10 million?

什么一千万啊

What $10 million?

等一下  卡洛斯  你转移了那笔钱

Give it a rest, Carlos . You moved that money.

首先  我否认我拥有非法财产

First of all, I deny having any illegal money,

更别提转移了

Let alone moving it.

你干吗那样说话？

Why are you talking like that?

不知道  我想你是不是藏了窃听器

I don't know. I thought you might be wearing a wire.

你疯了你知道吗

You're paranoid. You know that?

难道我没有理由疯？

Well, don't I have reason to be?

你干吗非要知道那笔钱在哪

And why would you care where the money is,

除非是你打算用它威胁我

Unless you were planning on using it against me?

天哪  你以为你多聪明啊 可惜 你不是

Oh, god. You think you are so clever. Well, you're not.

事实上你是我遇见过的最蠢的男人

In fact, you--you are the stupidest man I've ever met.

你不知道自己的对手是谁

You have no clue who you're dealing with,

相信我  卡洛斯

But believe me, you're gonna pay

你会为了你对我所作的一切负责的

for what you've done to me, Carlos.

游戏还没玩完呢

This game is not over.

事实上  可能已经完了

Actually, it kinda is,

你还没意识到

And if you hadn't noticed...

我已经赢了

I won.

布里

Bree.

勒奈特 我刚还想着你呢

Lynette, I was just thinking about you.

你拿到化验报告了吗？

Did you get your test results yet?

你说那个扫描啊  还没呢  明天才能出来

Huh? Oh, the P.E.T. scan. No, not till tomorrow.

我需要你帮忙  我的院子里有只负鼠

Listen, I need your help. There's a possum in my garden.

我讨厌那些负鼠

Ugh! I hate possums.

我也痛恨  我放了毒药可一点用都没有

Not as much as me. I put out poison, but it ate around it.

我放了个陷阱在那  却只逮到硬币

I got one of those humane traps, but all I trapped was penny.

我要怎样帮你？

How can I help?

我想借你的枪

I want a gun.

当真？

Really?

我因为你是反对私人持枪的

I thought you were one of those liberal gun haters.

那是过去的勒奈特  现在的勒奈特

That was the old Lynette . The new Lynette

想要杀了那些负鼠  然后让上帝处理它们

Kills the possums and lets god sort 'em out.

不幸地是 我们慈悲为怀的镇委会

Well, unfortunately, our b Lee ding-heart town council

禁止我们在自家后院使用火力

Forbids us from using live ammo in our own backyards.

一群胆小鬼

Wusses!

我建议你用气枪

I suggest you get an air rifle.

虽然不会杀了它

It won't kill it,

但会让它痛得永远不会回来

But it'll sting it enough to keep it away for good.

太好了  我从哪能弄到？

Perfect. Where can I get one?

在枪城的浸信会教堂附近的6号路

Try, um, gun city on route 6 by the baptist church.

告诉他们是我让你去的

Tell them I sent ya,

那样你会得到一个很好的折扣

And they'll give you a nice discount.

太好了

Great.

什么事这么急？

What's so urgent?

不能先打个招呼吗？

Can't say hello to a girl?

加布  我们说好了的

Gaby, we had a deal.

我们6个月以后再见面的

We weren't gonna see each other for six months.

关于那个约定...

Oh, uh, yeah, about that...

我们改成13个月行么？

What if we make it 13?

好了 别生气 让我把话说清楚

Okay, no, just go with me on this.

我现在要做的事  能彻底解决我们的财产问题

What I'm about to propose will give us total financial freedom

而且...还能令你的亿万富翁的梦想得以实现

And... Help a conniving billionaire's dream come true.

这要付出什么代价

Whoa. What's this for?

在维克托竞选成功之前

Milton Lang doesn't want me to leave Victor

弥尔顿·朗不想让我离开他

until after he runs for governor.

一旦他的竞选结束  这就都是我们的了

Once the election's over, ka-ching!

简单来说  你为了钱

So basically, you're taking money

和一个你不爱的男人上床

to sleep with a man you don't love.

天哪  我们应该称这个工作叫什么？

Gee, if that were a job, what would you call it?

我没必要和他上床

I don't have to sleep with him,

只是因为政治原因和他在一起

Just stay with him for political reasons.

基本上是一个模特13个月合影工作的费用

It's basically a modeling fee for a 13-month photo op.

绝对不行

Absolutely not.

卡洛斯  你现在又没有工作

Carlos, you're not working right now,

你也清楚如果破产了  我们永远都不会幸福

And you know we'll never be happy if we're broke.

我们需要这笔钱

We need this.

如果我们不用呢?

What if we didn't?

如果我藏了一笔钱呢

What if I had some money stashed away?

好吧 记得几年前

Okay, remember a few years ago

我和田中的生意往来么？

When I was in business with Tanaka ?

我一直担心他会出卖我

I was always afraid that he was gonna double-cross me.

他已经出卖了

Which he did.

但在他出卖我之前

But before he did,

我从他头上拿走了一点钱

I skimmed a little off the top.

一点是多少

How much is "a little"?

一千万美金

$10 million.

你挪用了一千万美金?

You embezzled $10 million?

其实只剩下950万  我花了近50万

Actually, now it's only about $9.5. It cost me half a mil

让这笔钱躲过政府和某些人的调查

to hide it from the government and certain other people. Mm.

等一下  等一下

Oh, wait, wait, wait.

如果这钱是田中的  那我们结婚时就有?

If this is Tanaka money, then you had it when we were married?

好吧 我知道你会这么想的

Okay, I can sense where you're going with this.

也就是说我们离婚的时候你有这笔财产

Which also means you had it when we got divorced.

如果我告诉你了

Look, if I had told you about it,

- 你会把钱全卷跑的 - 卡洛斯  我们那时还是夫妻

You'd have taken me to the cleaners. Carlos, we were married.

我可是有权利拥有任何你私吞的东西的一半

I was entitled to half of everything you embezzled.

我们现在复合了 这还有什么关系啊

Look, we're back together now. What does it matter?

要紧的是你骗了我

Well, it matter that you lied to me.

我不能相信你了

I can't trust you.

-加布! - 如果我不能信你 我想我也不能和你在一起

Gaby! If I can't trust you, I don't think I can be with you.

噢 拜托

Oh, come on!

不  我是认真的  在我经历这么多之后

No, I'm serious. After everything I have been through?

不  不行  滚出去

No! No, get out!

加布  你现在应该开心才对

Gaby, you should be happy right now.

我是个百万富翁  而且想和你在一起

I have millions of dollars, and I want you to be with me.

噢 那你是想让我和你睡 拿你的钱

Oh, so you want me to sleep with you and take your money.

天 如果这是种职业 该叫作什么啊

Gee, if that were a job, what would they call it?

谢谢你  孩子

Thanks, kid.

来点熊爪蛋糕?

Bear claw?

不  尼克  谢谢

Uh, no. Thank you, Nick.

麦克说你有些问题要问我

So, uh, Mike said you had some medical questions for me?

恩 是的 那个...

Um, yes, the, uh..

遗传咨询师希望了解些东西

Genetic counselor, um, wanted to know a couple of things.

您家人里有得过癌症的吗?

Um, Is-is there any cancer in your family?

没有

No.

很好

Great.

糖尿病呢?

Uh, diabetes?

非常好

Wonderful.

你杀了谁?

Who did you kill?

在车上你没跟她说吗?

Couldn't have covered this in the car?

我觉得她应该从你这儿知道

I thought she should hear it from you.

我杀了我老板

I killed my boss.

呃  这样

Uh-huh. Okay.

我认识他的时候他还不是

He wasn't my boss when I met him.

他跟我一样在码头帮人卸货

He was just another guy on the loading dock, like me.

招监工的时候

A supervisor's job came up,

我们都想当上监工

And, uh, we were both angling for it.

然后阿尔尼--他的名字

And then Arnie-- that was his name--

他就去公司老板那儿

He went to the head of the company

在他面前诋毁我

And told him some lies about me,

然后他就当上了监工

And he got the job.

所以你就杀了他?

So you killed him?

不  我为此消沉了好几个星期

No. I stewed about it for a few weeks.

我看见阿尔尼边走边傻笑

I'd see Arnie walking around with that smirk,

还带着领带  我就想

And, uh, and that tie, and I thought to myself,

"阿尔尼  你不配得到这份工作"

"you know, Arnie, you don't deserve that job.

"你不配戴那条领带"

"you don't deserve that tie,

"你也不配活在世上"

And you don't deserve to live."

所以你就杀了他?

So you killed him?

不  我走过去

No. I confronted him.

说  "阿尔尼你那样做是不对的"

I said, "Arnie, what you did wasn't right."

他朝着我笑 然后说

He just laughed in my face and said, uh,

"你能把我怎么样?"

"what are you gonna do about it?"

然后我就杀了他

Then I killed him.

那你是怎样...

Uh, and how did you...

用那条领带  手感还不错呢

With the tie. I thought it was a nice touch.

现在你知道啦

Well, now you know.

亚当 凯瑟琳 你们好

Hey, Adam , Katherine .

或者我应该说弗兰肯斯坦和…玛丽·安托瓦内特？（讽刺自作自受）

Or should I say Frankenstein and... Marie Antoinette?

很好

Nice.

你就像一个失势的自私女王

You came as a self-important queen who lost all her power.

还真有那么点贴切?

Isn't that a bit on the nose?

李竟然拿皇后开玩笑(queen也指男同性恋)

Lee making jokes about a queen.

是不是有点讽刺啊

Isn't that a bit ironic?

你们两个好可爱啊

You two look adorable.

你是要扮演谁?

And who are you supposed to be?

雪儿  心爱的流行天后

Cher, the beloved pop diva.

都是我妈的主意

It was my mom's idea.

就是那个知道我是同志后 吓坏了的女人

You know, the woman who freaked when she found out I was gay?

天啊  那是丹妮尔吗

Oh, my god. Is that Danielle ?

我明令禁止她今晚来派对的

I expressly forbade her from coming tonight.

她以为自己是谁啊

Who does she think she is?

显然 是"你"

Apparently, you.

丹妮尔  你回来了

Danielle, you're back!

我不是丹妮尔

I'm not Danielle

我是布里·范德坎普豪治

I am Bree Van De Kamp Hodge.

噢 别别别 不要抱 拜托

Oh, no, no, no. No hugs, please.

无谓的感情流露 让我不舒服

I'm uncomfortable with needless displays of emotion.

你的装扮真不错  太像了

Your costume looks great. It's so real.

喔! 我发誓我感觉到小婴儿一定踢了一腿

Ooh! I could swear I felt a kick.

不许那样哦  小霍奇  我们不踢人哦

You stop that, baby Hodge . We do not kick people,

除非他们是仆人

Unless they're servants.

你为什么不跟我们说她回来了啊?

Why didn't you tell me she was home?

她只是回来一下  明天就回去了

Oh, it's just a quick visit. She's driving back Tom orrow.

回瑞士?

To Switzerland?

亲爱的  我们去吃点蛋糕吧

Let's go get some cake, dear.

-你在做什么啊?  -我妈要我做的事

What do you think you're doing?  - Exactly what my mother wants.

你说过你希望我更像你  不是吗

You did say to be more like you, right?

你知道我不是那个意思

That's not what I meant, and you know it,

至于你对我的小模仿

And as for your little imitation of me,

我可从来不那样说话

I don't sound anything like that.

丹妮尔?  你模仿的是谁啊?

Danielle? Who are you supposed to be?

说实话  凯伦  我可不认为上帝会乐意

Really, Karen , I don't think our lord is amused

我们装扮成女巫

When we make light of witchcraft,

还有你应该用个杯垫

And you might use a coaster.

我懂了  她扮的是你

Oh, I get it. She's you.

我只是不明白他怎么能这么若无其事

I just don't see how he could not feel bad about it.

我不想再聊这个了

I don't want to talk about this anymore.

你知道  我期望见到一个

You know, I expected to meet

充满自责悔过的人

A guy that was racked with remorse,

可是...

And instead,

桌子对面那个...

I'm looking across the table at this...

人  他是一个人

Person. He's a person.

是啊  一个邪恶的人

Yeah, an evil person.

不  他是个做了坏事的好人

No, he's a good guy who did an evil thing.

两者是有区别的

There's a difference.

是吗  我可不觉得

Well, I don't see one.

他当时太愤怒了  大家都会的  我也会

Look, he snapped. It happens. People snap. I did.

我也杀过人

I killed a guy.

你杀了个

You killed a crooked cop

跟踪你的假警察

who was coming after you.

那是自卫

That's self-defense,

-尽管如此  你也后悔了啊  -当然

And even so, you regret it, right?  - Yes, of course.

这就是我的意思 当好人一时冲动犯了错

Well, that's my point. When good people snap,

他们会感到内疚 可你爸爸不是

They feel bad about it. Your dad doesn't.

苏珊为什么你非要这么执着呢

Susan, why are you getting so worked up over this?

我不知道  它就是让我很烦啊

I don't know. It just bothers me.

我是说  天哪 麦克

I mean... My god, Mike .

他是你爸爸

He's your dad.

是  我知道

Yeah, I know,

现在你知道当初为什么我要说他死了吧

And this conversation is exactly why I told you he was dead.

勒奈特

Lynette!

宝贝  你在外面吗

Honey, are you out here?

嘘!

你要用那个对付负鼠?

Is that for the possum?

是的

Yeah.

他正跟我玩智力游戏

Now he's playing mind games with me,

但是我放了一些万圣节糖果

But I laid out some halloween candy.

很快他就会饿了  然后他一饿...

Pretty soon he'll get hungry, and when he does...

不吃糖挨枪子儿(原意:不给糖就捣蛋-万圣节俚语)

Trick or treat.

勒奈特

Lynette--

嘘!

嘘!  你听到了吗

Shh! Do you hear that?

他开始行动了

He's making his move.

勒奈特 我想你该到里面去

Lynette, I think you should come inside

躺下休息一会

And lie down for a little while.

决不  他在这  汤姆  我能确定

No way. He's here, Tom . I can tell.

你...你吓着我了

Okay, now--now you're scaring me.

为什么?

Why?

瞧瞧你自己

Look at yourself.

你...你在向负鼠宣布圣战

You've--you've declared jihad on a possum.

我没在开玩笑  汤姆  有东西正攻击我们家

This is not a joke, Tom . Something has attacked our home,

但这种事发生 你不能袖手旁观 你要反抗

And when that happens, you don't just stand by--you fight it.

这个该死的生物 不请自来

Screw this creature that has come into our lives uninvited

还想要毁了我们

And is trying to destroy us.

我是不会被打倒的

It will not defeat me.

好吧

Okay.

你想怎么着就怎么着吧

You do what you need to do.

谢谢

Thank you.

布里  你帮宝宝想好名字了吗？

So, Bree , have you, uh, picked a name for the baby yet?

还没呢 不过我想

Not yet, but I'm thinking

如果是个男孩儿 就叫"你还不够好"

"you're not good enough" if it's a boy,

如果是女孩儿 就叫"你总是让我失望"

And "you'll always disappoint me" if it's a girl.

好了  你说够了  现在回家去

Okay, you made your point. Now go home.

开什么玩笑?

Are you kidding me?

这是我这八个月来最有趣的事 不要考验我的耐心  小姐

This is the most fun I've had in eight months.Do not test me, young lady,

不然我亲自把你拖走

Or I will drag you out of here myself.

你想吵架吗?  太可笑了

You make a scene? Ha! That's a laugh.

怎么了?

What's wrong?

我觉得羊水破了

I think my water just broke.

我的老天啊

Oh, dear heavenly lord.

嘿

毯子上是什么东西?

What happened to my rug?

丹妮尔

Danielle!

我们本来想把它保留到最后的

We agreed to save that till the end of the night.

化妆晚会最精彩的那部分

The best part of the costume,

她趁大家不注意扎破了水球

And she pops the water balloon when people aren't even looking.

奥森!安德鲁!

Orson! Andrew!

我们能及时赶到医院吗

Think we can make it to the hospital?

不行!  就要生了

I don't think so! It's coming.

好吧  现在所有人进屋去

Okay, everybody, in the house now.

别在沙发上  我才换的沙发罩

Not on the couch. I just had it reupholstered.

安德鲁扶你妹妹进厨房

Andrew, take your sister into the kitchen.

拿些毛巾  再烧壶开水

Get some towels. Boil some water.

一切都会没事的  我是个医生

Everything is gonna be fine. I'm a doctor.

你是个牙医  如果引起迸发症怎么办?

You're a dentist! What if there are complications?

如果需要抢救  我们就叫护身符来

Should an emergency arise, we will simply call an amulet.

叫什么?

A what?

救护车

Ambulance.

你喝了多少朗姆宾混酒?

How many rum punches did you have?

混酒里有朗姆酒吗?

There was punch in that rum?

我回去找亚当

I am going back to get Adam.

布里  布里  出什么事了?

Bree. Bree, what's wrong?

我需要你这个医生的帮助

I need your services as a doctor,

但是在我告诉你发生什么事之前

But before I tell you what's going on,

我要你保证你对所见到的事情

I need you to promise that what you're about to learn

-严格保密  - 这和你一直

Will be kept in strictest confidence. - Does this have anything to do

假装怀孕有关是吗

With the pregnancy you've been faking?

马上就出来了

Okay, you're almost there.

丹妮尔  你做得很好  使劲  孩子  使劲

Danielle, you're doing great. Push, baby, push.

他们在家吗  - 灯亮着呢

Are they home?  - The lights are on.

马上就出来了!

Here it comes!

如果他们不在家  那是什么?

If they're not home, then what's that?

也许只是他们放的录音用来吓唬我们的

Probably just a tape they put on to scare us.

大家知道规矩的

Well, you know the rule.

不给糖  我们就去捣蛋

If we don't get our treat, they get a trick. Yeah.

来吧

Come on.

还有...谢谢

And... Thank you.

好的

Okay.

是个漂亮的小男孩

It's a beautiful baby boy.

感觉如何?

How are you feeling?

很累

Tired.

亚当走了吗

Did Adam leave?

是的  他保证

Uh, yeah, and he promised

今晚的事不会跟任何人说

That no one would ever know what happened here tonight.

这样很好

That's good, I guess.

他还好吗

Is he okay?

很棒

He's perfect.

他...恩...现在都清理干净了

He's, um, he's all cleaned up now,

如果...你想抱抱他

If... If you want to hold him.

是的

Yeah

他真小

He's so tiny.

就像你出生那会一样

He looks just like you did.

你想和他单独待会吗

Do you want to be alone with him?

你希望我...

Do you want me to...

离开吗

To go?

我该怎么做?

What should I do?

你应该养他

You should take him.

你确定?

Are you sure?

亲爱的  你觉得你这个选择会是错的么?

Sweetheart, do you feel like you're making a mistake?

不  这...

No, it's...

对大家来说都好

The right thing to do for everyone...

特别是他

Especially him.

但你是对的

But you're right.

太糟糕了

It's awful.

我要睡一会

I'm gonna sleep now.

好的  孩子

Okay, baby.

一切都好  小不点

It's okay, little one.

我们到了.我们走吧.

Here we are. Here we go.

我们走

Yes, here we go.

苏珊  是我

Susan, hey, it's me.

不好意思  只能给你留言了

Um, sorry to leave this message on your machine,

你能不能告诉他们

But can you tell the other girls

我想单独离开一阵

I'm, uh, going to be by myself for a while?

我...只是...

I... Just...

脑子很乱  需要一个人想想

Going through some stuff and need to think.

车子到了  我马上去机场

Um--oh, god, that's my car ready to take me to the airport,

我回来会告诉你一切

So I'll tell you everything when I get back.

好吗?  爱你  拜拜

Okay? Love you. Bye.

这车好棒

This is nice.

我没叫加长型的车  不过  就它吧

I didn't order a stretch, but I'll take it.

维克托

Victor.

我试着往家里打电话给你

I tried reaching you at the house,

可女佣说你已经搬走了

But the maid said you'd moved out.

我立刻搭最近的班机回来  出什么事了?

I took the next flight home. What's going on?

我...大概要离开你吧

Well, I'm... Sort of leaving you.

"大概"比"一定"听起来好受点

Well, I guess "sort of" is better than "definitely."

我要怎么做才能让你"一定不会"呢

What do I have to do to make it "absolutely not"?

我什么都愿意做  告诉我

I'll do anything. Just tell me.

维克托  没那么简单  我们有太多问题

Victor, it's not that simple. We have major problems,

而你从没时间跟我交流  更别说处理了

And you never have time to talk about them, let alone fix 'em.

我想我最好腾出时间来

Well, I guess I better make some time.

我看看

Let's see.

这周末有空

Here's this weekend.

下周有空

Here's next week.

下下周有空  看  我整个月都有空

The week after. Look at that. I've got a whole month.

你有空吗?

You busy?

维克托  我知道你肯这么做

Victor, I know you're only doing this

是因为离婚会影响你的竞选

Because a divorce would hurt your run for governor.

如果我放弃竞选呢?

What if I don't run?

你说真的?

You mean that?

州长官邸是我父亲的梦想

The governor's mansion is my father's dream.

你知道我的梦想吗

You know what my dream is?

是你

You.

别走  加布

Don't run away, Gaby ...

如果真的要走  带上我  好吗

And if you do, please, take me with you.

麦克在哪儿?

So... Where's Mike ?

在汽车旅馆  我偷跑出来的  没叫醒他

At the motel. I slipped out without waking him.

我思考了整晚

I've been up all night thinking,

我有话要和你说

And I have something to say to you.

噢?

我不相信你之前的话

I don't believe you.

我不信你杀死一个人居然不后悔

I don't believe that you could kill a man and not regret it.

你为什么在意这些?

Why do you care?

因为我怀的孩子有你的基因

Because I am carrying a baby that has your genes.

如果医生告诉我

If my doctor told me that there was

我的孩子有缺陷...在生理方面

Something wrong with this baby-- something physical,

我可以接受

I could handle that.

而且我可能会更爱他

I would probably even love it more.

但如果我的孩子生来没有良心 没有灵魂

But if my baby was born without a conscience, without a soul,

我不知道自己该怎样面对

I don't know what I would do.

你认为我没有灵魂?

You think I don't have a soul?

如果你夺去了一个人的生命

If you can't feel the tiniest bit of remorse

却没有一丝自责...

Over taking a human life...

是的  我想你没有

No, I don't think you do.

如果去想我所做的一切

If I were to think about what I did,

好好地想

Really think about it,

我会彻夜失眠

Lay awake nights

满脑子都是那张

Trying to remember the look on that guy's face

被我扼死的人的脸

When I strangled the life out of him...

我很快就会发疯的

Pretty soon, I'd go crazy.

我该走了

I should go.

你知道我后悔什么吗

You know what I do regret?

我对麦克所做的事

What I did to Mike.

你做什么了?

What did you do?

他曾是人见人爱的麦克

He was a real popular kid. Everybody liked Mikey.

而当我被关起来之后

Then when I got sent away,

一时间  整个城镇

Suddenly the whole town

都把他视为杀人凶手的儿子

Just thinks of him as the son of a murderer.

那给他造成了严重的心理阴影

He got some pretty serious demons as a result.

我不知道这阴影是否

I'm not sure that kind of darkness

有真的消失不见

Ever truly goes away.

你错了

Well, you're wrong.

他现在很幸福

He's happy.

他有一份好工作  一个爱他的妻子

He's got a good job and a wife who loves him

还有一个将出生的孩子

And a baby on the way.

在我杀人之前  我也曾有过这一切

I had a lot going for me, too, before I threw it all away.

记住...

Just...

好好看着他

Keep an eye on him.

伊迪  你要找加布的话

Edie, if you're looking for Gaby ,

她刚去上瑜伽课了

She just left for her yoga class.

瑜伽  她是这么跟你说的?

Yoga... Is that what she told you?

对不起

I'm sorry.

我了解你现在很生气  感觉很丢脸

I know how angry and humiliated you must feel.

但不要把气都撒在加布身上

But don't take it all out on Gaby.

是卡洛斯引诱的她

Carlos seduced her.

他恨你夺去了他的妻子

He hated you for taking his wife,

所以他决定让你戴绿帽子

So he decided to make a fool out of you.

我想他得到什么样的报应都不为过  你觉得呢?

I think he deserves whatever's coming to him, don't you?

嘿 嘿 嘿 安静 她在睡觉呢

Hey! Hey! Hey, quiet. She's napping.

真不容易 你是怎么让她睡着的啊

Finally. How'd you get her to do that?

噢

Oh

我给她调了杯玛格丽塔

I-I made her a margarita.

里面的龙舌兰有助睡眠

The tequila did the rest.

是拉什顿医生

Hmm, it's Dr. Rushton.

她的肿瘤大夫?

Her oncologist?

嘿

你好  拉什顿医生

Hey, Dr. Rushton.

过来有事吗?

What--what are you doing here?

我的工作大部分都是通知别人坏消息

Well...  So much of my job is delivering bad new

但我真的很想当面告诉你

That I really wanted to tell you this in person.

勒奈特  结果出来了  你痊愈了

Lynette, I got the test results back. You're clean.

- 真的吗? - 是的

Are you sure?  - Yeah.

淋巴结已经完全消失了  恭喜

Oh! Lymph nodes are completely clear. Congratulations.

我就知道  我就知道

I knew it. I knew it!

你听到了没?  听到了没?

Did you hear that? Did you hear that?

太棒了  我去告诉孩子们

This is so amazing. I'm gonna go get the kids.

嘿 医生 你看起来需要喝杯玛格丽塔

Hey, Doc, you look like you need a margarita.

就算你不喝 我也不会一个人喝的

And even if you don't, I ain't drinking alone.

对不起

I'm sorry.

世界上有太多东西让人害怕

There is much to be afraid of in this world,

但是我们所害怕的

But what we fear has nothing to do

与鬼面具

With gruesome masks

塑料蜘蛛

Or plastic spiders

仿真怪物都无关

Or lifelike monsters.

最令我们害怕的

No, it's the thoughts in our head

是我们脑海里的念头

That terrify us the most...

如果她后悔自己所作的决定

What if she comes to regret her decision?

如果他真的并不幸福

What if he really is unhappy?

如果真爱永远不会再来临

What if the chance for love has passed forever?

怎样才能克服这些可怕的念头?

How do we conquer these terrifying thoughts?

首先我们告诉自己

We start by reminding ourselves

经历过的风风雨雨...

What does not kill us...

只是让我们变得更加坚强

Just makes us stronger.