Master is not the new Bachelor
I remembered the title of a TED talk very well - "30s is not the new 20s" and I think it also applies to the topic I would like to tackle about today. Why Master is not the new Bachelor? Please lend an ear and judge if my points make sense.
1. There is less excitement.
I remember the experience of my first couple of days as a new undergrad very well. I was super excited about all the courses from all the departments I can choose from, and during the shopping week, I was bustled between all buildings among the campus trying to find the classes I am really interested in. That was the first time I knew I can be so free to choose what I like to take, not what I am required to take. The excitement was overwhelming.
Now, the next day is the start of the first semester. Honestly I feel a bit nervous but not too much excitement. I am nervous because I am afraid to do something wrong - to take the "wrong" course, to not fully participate and leave a good impression for the lecturers, etc. I feel I am less willing to try and explore and just want to play safe.
2. There is less routine.
Going to the university was the first time I am away from home and live alone. I had to learn from zero to schedule my daily life in a very foreign environment. I had to cook for myself and use English as my primary language, for example. Also, the culture difference made great impacts on me. It takes me a lot time to adjust to my new life in the U.S.
However, now is very different. Before I decide to come here in Germany, I have already lived a somewhat mundane but stable life. I maintain a relatively clear schedule for work, exercise, play instruments and study. Thus, when I immediately arrive here, I can retain the routine with some modifications.
3. There is less change and mind-blowing moments.
During my undergrad years, my world, life, value views have undergone critical changes a couple of times. For my first two years, because I could not quiet live peacefully with the surrounding environment, I developed a conservative, even chauvinist attitude toward my home country. I felt so lost and so alien in the new environment that I desperately tried to grasp something I thought I belonged to. Of course, after all things I experienced, I gradually changed my views to more inclusive, peaceful and mindful ones.
Being mindful offers me huge help in the years in-between. Currently, I am using writing as a tool to reflect on recent things I've experienced, so I can focus more on my emotions and thoughts. When I notice something might be wrong, I will seek help from the internet, friends and family. Since I recognize the importance of assistance and guidance, I pay more attention on communicating with the others. I have to admit that I still need a lot of practices on this area, though.
Here are the reasons I can think of that distinguish my bachelor's and (incoming) master's years. I initially wrote this essay because I am a little worried about my current state. I did not sleep well for the previous 2 nights because of intensive dreams; I found myself procrastinating a lot recently; I still did not find the right sport and instrument here for me to practice; I often feel I did nothing and waste my life so on. Now my feeling changed toward better. I realized my worries came from my inner thoughts to better myself, even perfect myself, which is not the wrong thoughts. I still need to make plans and enrich my life and be more relaxed and chilled toward everything.
Nevertheless, by comparing my current experience to that of 6 years ago, I feel my growth and being more mature. Master is not the new Bachelor. I am losing something, but I am also gaining a hell lot. The suggestion I give myself is to be a little more excited and dare to explore, but at the same time keep content, confident and be introspective. This is the end of my writing today, and I am looking forward to the start of the semester tomorrow :)
