Confidence?It’s a concept
自信？这是一个概念
Faith and doubt both are needed – not as
antagonists, but working side by side to take us around the unknown curve.Lillian Smith
信仰和疑惑都有用—不是作为对手，而是并肩协作，带我们走过未知的道路。Lillian Smith
I get so frustrated when I’m strugglingwith something (personal or professional) and I approach someone for input andthey come back with something like:just be confident.
当我纠结于一些事的时候（个人的，或者职业的）我都会赶到很憔悴，然后我去寻找一些人希望得到一些建议，他们会告诉我说：自信点儿就好了。
·Have faith in yourself.要对自己有信心。
·Clout the doubt!要击败疑惑！
·Success is can, not can’t.成功是关于你能行，而不是你不行。
The variations are endless.不同的说法无穷无尽
However well meaning the advice (and itusually is) these platitudes don’t move us forward.
无论这些建议的含义多么好（而且一般来说都不错）这些陈词滥调并不会让我们前进。
On the contrary, they make thing worse.
相反这些陈词滥调反倒让事情更糟。
Not only do we have doubts but now wefeel bad that we do because (apparently) we are unlike everyone else in theworld.
现在我们不仅有疑惑，而且我们对自己有疑惑这件事感到很糟糕，因为‘很明显’我们和这个世界上的其它人不一样。
It’s a double whammy.这可是双重打击。
But where are these so-called doubtlesspeople?
但是这些没有疑惑的人，他们又在哪儿呢？
Sure, we can have relatively more orless confidence than others and even within ourselves, be more or lessconfident about different areas of our expertise or experience.
没错，我们会相对的比别人更有信心，或者缺乏信心，甚至在我们自己身上也会这样，对于不同的经验或者我们不同的技能，我们会感到更有或者更少信心。
But we are human and all humans havedoubts.
但是我们是人类，所有人类都会有疑惑。
Some people may project what looks likeimpenetrable self-confidence in the world.Oftenit’s just an image designed to manage the way others respond to them.
有些人在这个世界上会看起来好像有着不可撼动的自信。但通常，这只是做出的姿态，从而控制别人对他们的看法。
For example, they might be dismissive.The cold shoulder or cursory glance is designedto keep others out and creates a power relationship in which they (the ‘giver’of approval) manage you (the ‘receiver’ of their good will).
举例来说，他们可能会表现得很不屑。冷的肩膀或者匆匆一瞥只是设计来把其他人排在外，来制造一种强关系，在这个强关系中，他们（是‘给予’认可的人）控制着你（他们‘好意’的接受者）
This is a sophisticated gag order.
这是一个非常老练的禁言令。
Or they might flummox you withjargon.Here the game is about confusing you intoagreement.
或者他们使用行话来把你弄得很晕。这里的把戏是迷惑你来达到他们想要的共识。
Irrespective of the tool they used theoutcomes is usually about preventing difference.Why?Because difference suggests that there is no‘one or ‘right’ way.And that means a lack of control.
无论他们用什么方法，目的都是为了避免出现不同。为什么？因为不同意味着并不存在所谓的一条正确的路。而这，意味着失控。
In my experience the more intact the maskthe deeper the insecurity.
On the other hand, I think doubt can behealthy.
在我的经验看来，面具越是没有破绽，内在越是缺乏安全感。另一方面，我觉得疑惑其实也可以是健康的。
I am not talking about such excessivedoubt that you become paralyzed into inaction.
我并不是说那些过度的疑惑导致你变得不知所措而不采取行动。
But doubt is what causes us to redo theexperiment, triple check the data, listen harder to what others are trying tocommunicate.It propels us to try harder, do better, to grow.
但是疑惑正是我们重新做一次实验，再三的检查数据，仔细去聆听别人想表达的内容的原因。
It also cultivates empathy.疑惑还培养了我们的同理心。
Anxious? Unsure?Worried?(Ah we nod, been there done that.)
焦虑？不确定？担心？（嗯，我们都点了头，都有过这样的感受）
Having lived with the discomfort ofdoubt and the difficult emotions that emerge we understand ina visceral way what others are going through.
This allows us to be truly supportive,not by peppering the conversation with banality but by being the embodyingwhat is possible despite our flaws.
有过活在让人不舒服的疑惑中以及那产生的艰难的情感中的时光，我们能够更深入地理解别人在经历着什么。这让我们变得更加诚恳地去支持别人。不是在谈话中说那些有的没的，而是成为可能性的化身，即使我们并不完美。
So the next time someone tells you to‘be confident’, remember that confidence is just a concept, an idea.
下一次再有人告诉你‘要自信’，请记得自信这是一个概念，一个点子。
It’s
commitment that counts.承诺才是最重要。
Not sure if you can do the job? Whetherthe project will succeed?If the bookwill be good enough? The music will not be well received?
Doit anyway.
不确定你是否可以做那份工作？不确定项目是否会成功？不确定书写得是否够好？担心音乐是否会被很好地接受？尽管去做吧。
Whatever happens, you will learn.
And the feedback you get will help youreadjust (or reaffirm) your path.And you mayaccept it, or you may not.
无论发生什么，你都会有所学到。
所获得的反馈，也将帮助你调整你的路线。还有也许你会接受他，也许不会。
