许多婚礼誓言都包含无论健康还是疾病都要在一起的承诺。
尽管社会取得了进步，但传统的性别角色和家庭劳动分工不平等仍然是一个问题。
妻子的健康问题大大增加了离婚率，尤其是老年夫妇。
“...从今天起，无论好坏、富足还是贫穷、健康还是疾病，我都将拥有并坚持下去……”
这些誓言可以追溯到公元 1549 年左右的中世纪英国教会。尽管这些誓言在后来的岁月中呈现出数百种不同的形式和变化，但它们传达的信息始终如一：忠诚、珍惜和承诺。
然而，根据《婚姻与家庭杂志》 2025年2月的研究，其中一项承诺似乎比我们想象的要附带更多条件。这项欧洲研究令人震惊的发现揭示了“银发离婚”（即50岁以上夫妻的离婚）的性别模式。
50至64岁成年人离婚的新模式
在美国，晚年离婚统计数据在过去几十年发生了巨大变化。1989年，每1000名50岁以上的成年人中，只有大约5人经历过离婚。到2010年，这一比例翻了一番，达到每1000人中有10人离婚，并且此后一直保持相对稳定。
包括英格兰和威尔士在内的许多欧洲国家都出现了类似的现象。在法国和比利时等一些国家，“银发婚姻”的发生率甚至更高。这种日益增长的趋势引发了研究人员的浓厚兴趣，尤其想知道为何如此多的长期婚姻破裂率越来越高。
因此，心理学研究人员 Daniele Vignoli、Giammarco Alderotti 和 Cecilia Tomassini 在 2025 年 2 月的研究中着手调查一个特别紧迫的问题：健康状况如何影响老年夫妇的离婚？
他们的研究分析了 2004 年至 2022 年 18 年间收集的 25,542 对年龄在 50 至 64 岁之间的欧洲异性恋夫妇的数据。他们的发现令人深感不安。
当夫妻双方都保持健康时，离婚率相对稳定。同样，当丈夫生病而妻子保持健康时，离婚的可能性并没有显著增加。然而，当妻子生病时，离婚率发生了巨大变化。
在妻子罹患重病的婚姻中，离婚率显著升高。同样，当妻子的身体状况限制了日常生活的便利时，离婚的可能性也会增加。
这表明疾病对婚姻稳定性的影响存在严重的不平衡——这引发了有关性别角色、照顾和晚年关系承诺等几个令人担忧的问题。
无论健康与疾病
值得注意的是，这项2025年研究的作者们自己也承认，需要进一步的定性研究才能完全理解这种模式背后的细节。即便如此，即使是普通人也能推测，这些结果不能仅仅归咎于健康问题带来的压力。根深蒂固的性别角色很可能也发挥了重要作用。
人们根深蒂固地期望妻子能确保家庭顺利运转，以至于任何偏离这一角色的行为都可能让人感觉像是，或者被合理地认为是，婚姻关系的破裂。
几十年来，这些角色通过从童年开始的社会化过程不断强化，女孩们被潜移默化地教导要重视照顾他人、掌握家务技能以及维护家庭。而男孩们则很少在烹饪、清洁或抚养孩子等方面得到同样的指导。
大量研究表明，尽管年轻一代的社会观念发生了巨大变化，但这些性别期望依然存在。在许多老一辈的婚姻中，传统观念依然根深蒂固——女性仍然承担着管理家务和照顾家庭的重担。
对丈夫来说，妻子因病未能履行这些职责，可能会被视为违反婚姻契约——一项“无论健康与否”的承诺。因此，当家庭管理的支柱突然被削弱时，一些丈夫可能会觉得，最基本的，甚至是最重要的誓言被违背了。
然而，客观上，正是这种心态违背了誓言。“无论健康与否”不应要求女性为了婚姻而将家务劳动置于自身福祉之上。相反，它应该意味着，如果她无法再履行这些责任，她的丈夫可以而且必须介入——正如研究人员建议妻子在角色互换时所做的那样。
毋庸置疑，期望女性独自承担这些责任既过时又不切实际。这些责任应该由夫妻共同承担。然而，令人遗憾的是，现实情况并非总是如此——即使妻子面临健康问题也是如此。
但当丈夫患病时，社会的期望并非妻子会自然而然地承担起照顾家庭的角色；在大多数情况下，这已经是她的角色了。丈夫生病不会扰乱既定的家庭主妇角色——因为女性通常被预先社会化为照顾者。
这种不对称很可能是历史上性别歧视观念的众多副产品之一，在这种观念中，烹饪、清洁和照顾家庭几乎被视为女性与生俱来的责任。《商业与心理学杂志》 2023年的一项研究指出，即使在当代环境下，家务劳动分工仍然严重偏向女性。
这种分化是自我延续的：男孩们在成长过程中几乎没有或完全没有家务管理的榜样。因此，他们往往在步入婚姻殿堂时就抱有一种不言而喻（甚至明说）的期望，那就是他们的伴侣会承担起这些责任。在许多老一辈的婚姻中，由于过去的性别规范依然未受挑战，这种期望依然根深蒂固。
从这个意义上讲，当妻子的疾病影响到她管理家庭的能力时，这种社会失衡很可能就会损害婚姻的稳定。令人震惊的是，这似乎意味着“无论健康与疾病”的承诺，会因哪一方患病而产生不同的解读。
What's Behind a Shocking New Divorce Pattern
Divorce trends among middle-aged adults have revealed a shocking new pattern.
Key points：
Many wedding vows include a promise to stay together in sickness and in health.
Despite societal progress, traditional gender roles and unequal division of household labor remain a problem.
Health issues in wives significantly increase divorce, particularly in older couples.
“...To have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health…”
These vows can be traced back to the medieval church of England, around the year 1549. While they’ve taken on hundreds of different forms and alterations in the years since, their message has remained the same: a promise of faithfulness, cherishment, and commitment.
However, according to February 2025 research from the Journal of Marriage and Family, one of these promises appears to be far more conditional than we’d like to believe. The shocking findings of the European study depict a gendered pattern in “silver splits”—that is, divorces among couples over the age of 50.
A New Divorce Pattern Among Adults Between 50 and 64 Years Old
In the United States, late-life divorce statistics have changed dramatically over the past few decades. In 1989, only about 5 out of every 1,000 adults over the age of 50 went through a divorce. By 2010, this rate had doubled to 10 per 1,000—and has remained relatively steady since.
A similar pattern can be observed in many European countries, including England and Wales. In some nations, such as France and Belgium, the rate of these “silver splits” is even higher. This growing trend has sparked immense interest among researchers, particularly in terms of why so many long-term marriages are breaking down at increasing rates.
As such, in their February 2025 study, psychological researchers Daniele Vignoli, Giammarco Alderotti, and Cecilia Tomassini set out to investigate a particularly pressing question: How does health influence divorce among older couples?
Their study examined data from 25,542 European heterosexual couples between the ages of 50 and 64, collected over an 18-year span from 2004 to 2022. What they found was deeply unsettling.
When both partners remained in good health, divorce rates stayed relatively stable. Likewise, when the husband fell ill but the wife remained healthy, the likelihood of divorce did not significantly increase. However, the pattern shifted drastically when the wife was the one who fell ill.
In marriages where the wife developed a serious illness, the divorce rate was statistically significantly higher. Similarly, when wives experienced physical limitations that made daily tasks difficult, the likelihood of divorce also increased.
This suggests a stark imbalance in how illness affects marital stability—one that raises several concerning questions about gender roles, caregiving, and commitment in later-life relationships.
When “In Sickness and in Health” No Longer Holds True
It’s worth noting that the authors of the 2025 study themselves acknowledge that further qualitative research is needed to completely understand the finer details behind this pattern. That said, even the everyday person could surmise that these results cannot be attributed solely to the stress that comes with health struggles. Entrenched gender roles more than likely play a significant part, too.
The deep-seated expectation that a wife will always ensure that the home runs smoothly is so ingrained, to the extent that any deviation from this role may feel like, or be legitimately considered, a rupture in the marital bond.
Over decades, these roles have been reinforced through socialization processes—beginning in childhood—where girls are subtly taught to value caregiving, domestic skills, and the maintenance of the home. Young boys, on the other hand, are very rarely given the same instruction in tasks such as cooking, cleaning, or child rearing.
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A significant body of research suggests that these gendered expectations have persisted, despite how much societal attitudes are shifting within the younger generations. And in many older marriages, traditional norms remain even more strongly in place—with women continuing to carry the mental load of managing household tasks and caring responsibilities.
To husbands, the failure of a wife to fulfill these roles due to illness can be perceived as a breach of sorts in the marital contract—a promise made “in sickness and in health.” As such, when the pillar of domestic management is suddenly weakened, some husbands may feel that the foundational, perhaps even the most important, vow has been broken.
Yet, objectively, it’s this very mindset that breaks the vow. “In sickness and in health” shouldn’t require a woman to place domestic labor above her own well-being for the sake of the marriage. Rather, it should mean that if she can no longer fulfill these responsibilities, her husband can and must step in—just as the researchers suggest wives do when the roles are reversed.
It goes without saying that expecting women to shoulder these duties alone, in the first place, is both archaic and unrealistic. These responsibilities should always be shared between spouses. In reality, however, this sadly isn’t always the case—not even when wives face health struggles.
But when a husband becomes ill, the societal expectation isn’t that the wife will naturally step into the caregiving role; in most cases, this is already her role. An ailing husband doesn’t unsettle the established dynamic of who manages the home—as women are typically pre-socialized to be the caregivers.
In all likelihood, this asymmetry is one of many byproducts of historically sexist expectations, where cooking, cleaning, and caregiving are viewed as an almost innate responsibility for women. A 2023 study from the Journal of Business and Psychology notes that, even in contemporary settings, the division of household labor remains heavily skewed in favor of women.
This division is self-perpetuating: Young boys grow up with little to no role models for household management. Often, as a result, they enter marriage with the unspoken (or even spoken) expectation that their partners will handle these responsibilities. In many older marriages, where gender norms from years gone by remain unchallenged, this expectation remains stubbornly entrenched.
In this sense, when a wife’s illness disrupts her ability to manage the home, this societal imbalance is very likely what undermines the stability of the marriage. Appallingly, it seems this means that the promise “in sickness and in health” can be interpreted differently depending on which partner falls ill.
