The foundation of trust is in place, and you can talk to your child about anything, otherwise, you will be wary of each other, guessing, and hiding from each other. Basically, you will not be able to talk about anything. When you do, it is useless. When he does, he will give false promises and do whatever he says. So what's gonna happen when a new person takes over?
First, let's not keep trying to take advantage of our kids. Just like when a child is young, you tell him to write his homework quickly, and when he's done, you can play. As a result, they really finished it.
Well, when you see it's still early, you're accumulating a lot of money, so you say I'll give you something more. Okay, then some parents say I let him study for the good of it. How can I take advantage of him?
We've been foxes for thousands of years, so you don't have to talk to me like that. Your company boss has changed his tactics, very conscientiously assigning you work and asking you to work overtime, and he says it's good for you, so ask yourself whether you can trust this boss. So don't be too complacent for the first time, don't think about calculating the child, don' t think about taking advantage of him.
Second, don't treat your child as an idiot. For example, you think it's cold outside, and when your child goes out, you want him to wear more clothes, but he doesn't. If the child is over 10 years old and is a normal intellectually qualified person, ask yourself, does he really not know whether it is hot or cold outside? Oh, he's so stupid he can't feel it. It's cold outside. Should you have to dress him? Could it be because you're too old, and you're afraid that a kid or a lad will burn two bunks, using all the firepower, and they won't feel cold. Then you don't trust his judgment, and the logic behind that is that you don' trust his IQ. You don't believe him anymore. How can he believe that none of your new energy foundations have been destroyed? Finally, don't always treat people like children. Oh, yeah, of course you don't care about that. Oh, i told you, you don't understand. I'll know when i grow up. Oh, well, just learn your lessons. Don't ask anymore. All these words, you think you are protecting him, but in the child's view, you are looking down on him and not discussing anything with him or telling him anything. Isn't that believable? I can't believe his IQ, I can' believe his character, I can believe his affection for you. So do you think he's got any good impressions of you? You can't trust him. You probably can trust you. You don't talk to him any time. Then you think he's having a problem. Will he tell you? Both sides have this defense. Is there a basis for trust?
信任基础到位，那里跟孩子聊什么都可以，否则就是互相提防，互相猜，互相隐瞒，那基本上啥事都谈不成，谈成了也没用，谈成了他也阳奉阴尾，说一套做一套。那信任接手该怎么搭呢？ 第一，咱甭老想着占孩子便宜。就像孩子小的时候，你跟他说，作业要快点写，写完了，你可以去玩。结果人家真写完了。哎，你一看时间还早，你就很积得，你说要不我再给你布置点吧。好，那有的家长说我让他学习是为的好啊，那怎么能翻占样他的便宜呢？咱都是千年的狐狸，你就甭用跟我这话聊斋。
你的公司老板变了法子，很积德的给你派活，让你加班，他也说是为你好啊，那你自己摸着良心问一下以后你还信不信得过这个老板。所以第一个甭太积碎，甭脑想着算计孩子，甭脑想着占他便宜。
第二个，别把孩子当傻子。举个例子啊，你觉得外头很冷，孩子出去的时候呢，你想让他多穿点衣服，结果他非不穿。如果这个孩子已经10岁以上了，他是个智力合格的正常人，你扪心中问，他难道真的不知道外面是热还是冷吗？哦，他蠢到已经感受不了，外面很冷，还非得由你来给他穿衣服这件事情了吗？
有没有可能是因为你年纪太大的，你怕了人家孩子小伙子烧两炕，全凭火力壮，人家就觉得不冷了。然后你不相信他的判断，那背后的逻辑就是你不相信他的智商。你都不相信他了，他还怎么相信你一点新能基础不就全被破坏了吗？最后第3个，别老把人家当小孩子。哎呀，当然这的事情你别管。
哎呀，跟你说了，你也不懂，以后长大了就知道了。哎呀，你学你的习就好了，别的时候你少问。所有的这些话，你以为你在保护他，其实在孩子看来，你这是瞧不起他好，啥事都不跟他商量，啥事都不跟他说，这不就是信不过吗？
信不过他的智商，信不过他的人品，信不过他对你的感情。那你觉得他对你还能有什么好印象吗？你都信不过他了，大概信得过你啊，你啥时候都不跟他说，那你觉得他有事儿，他会告诉你吗？双方都防成这样了，还有信任基础吗？
