Vocabulary

furrow n. 皱纹； v. 使眉皱起；使额蹙起

I couldn't help hating the way his brow furrowed with worry.

feud n. 世仇; 积怨

His family would have to be invited as well even though Homayoun and Nader had a bit of a feud going.

v. 长期争吵；结怨；结仇

He feuded with his ex-wife.

rekindle v. 重新点燃；使重新活跃

To my dismay, Hassan kept trying to rekindle things between us.

stay out of 袖手旁观

clench v. (通常指生气、不安时)咬紧(牙齿)，咬牙切齿

“I grew up with Ali,” he said through clenched teeth.

snap v. 恶声恶气地说；声色俱厉地说

“Hassan's not going anywhere,” Baba snapped. He dug a new hole with the trowel, striking the dirt harder than he had to. “He's staying right here with us, where he belongs. This is his home and we're his family. Don't you ever ask me that question again!”

“Hit me back!” I snapped. Hassan looked from the stain on his chest to me.

v. 突然精神崩溃；突然失控；

Then something seemed to snap in me. I couldn't endure any more.

adj. 突然的，仓促的，鲁莽的；

I think this is too important for a snap decision.

Excerpt

景色描写

KAKA HOMAYOUN'S WHITE, two-story house in Jalalabad had a balcony overlooking a large, walled garden with apple and persimmon trees. There were hedges that, in the summer, the gardener shaped like animals, and a swimming pool with emerald-colored tiles. I sat on the edge of the pool, empty save for a layer of slushy snow at the bottom, feet dangling in.

…

I finally had what I'd wanted all those years. Except now that I had it, I felt as empty as this unkempt pool I was dangling my legs into.

这一段的景色描写实际上中规中矩，但作者的前后呼应功力实在是不可小觑。前后两个dangling，从景色描写到作者的心绪，连接得自然贴切。

段与段之间如此，情节与情节之间也如此。情节呼应能给读者带来很多阅读趣味，如此密集却不让人觉得厌烦的设计，让人钦佩。

For at least a few months after the kite tournament, Baba and I immersed ourselves in a sweet illusion, saw each other in a way that we never had before. We'd actually deceived ourselves into thinking that a toy made of tissue paper, glue, and bamboo could somehow close the chasm between us.

爸爸和阿米尔的关系终于有所改善。其中immersed ourselves in a sweet illusion写得让人有些哭笑不得。哈桑出事后，作者的语言变得伤感阴郁，没有太多欣喜。

HASSAN MILLED ABOUT the periphery of my life after that. I made sure our paths crossed as little as possible, planned my day that way. Because when he was around, the oxygen seeped out of the room. My chest tightened and I couldn’t draw enough air; I'd stand there, gasping in my own little airless bubble of atmosphere. But even when he wasn't around, he was. He was there in the hand-washed and ironed clothes on the cane-seat chair, in the warm slippers left outside my door, in the wood already burning in the stove when I came down for breakfast.

哈桑和Amir之间充满了尴尬的气氛，our paths crossed as little as possible（两人尽可能地避免与彼此相见），在他面前，the oxygen seeped out of the room（房间里稀缺氧气），

Thoughts

Amir的自责溢于言表，即使他和爸爸在一起时也完全不能享受愉快时光，无论做什么事情脑子里都是Hassan的事。

他想了很多，其中有一段分析非常经典：

I thought about Hassan's dream, the one about us swimming in the lake. There is no monster, he'd said, just water. Except he'd been wrong about that. There was a monster in the lake. It had grabbed Hassan by the ankles, dragged him to the murky bottom. I was that monster.

他将自己看做是湖里的妖怪，抓着Hassan向下走。

因为对自己的责问和对Hassan的愧疚占据了生活的大部分，所以：

MY MEMORY OF THE REST of that winter of 1975 is pretty hazy.

当Hassan友好地试图修复两人的关系是，Amir不耐烦地只想赶他走，但走了以后打开门，Amir又会感到极度的孤独和空虚。

I fell on my bed, buried my head under the pillow, and cried.

Amir多么希望Hassan能够惩罚他的罪恶，多么希望能得到Hassan的原谅和理解，多么希望一切赶快过去。

I hit him with another pomegranate, in the shoulder this time. The juice splattered his face. “Hit me back!” I spat. “Hit me back, goddamn you!” I wished he would. I wished he'd give me the punishment I craved, so maybe I'd finally sleep at night. Maybe then things could return to how they used to be between us. But Hassan did nothing as I pelted him again and again.

但他没有对Hassan表达一丝丝善意，只是一味地伤害，伤害，伤害。

“You'e a coward!” I said. “Nothing but a goddamn coward!”

…

I don't know how many times I hit him.

…

All I know is that, when I finally stopped, exhausted and panting, Hassan was smeared in red like he'd been shot by a firing squad. I fell to my knees, tired, spent, frustrated.

…

Amir太懦弱，越是懦弱，越是想通过伤害从不会反击的最亲最温柔的人，证明自己的不懦弱，实在可悲。

Notes

施虐事件发生后，Hassan开始沉默寡言，承受着万般折磨，却对此事未提一字。他避免与Amir见面，时常躲在房间里独自一人。Baba和Ali担心他，但Amir却对此没有任何表示，他心神不宁，被心中的愧疚和痛苦折磨，但更多的竟还是嫉妒与焦躁。

风筝比赛后，Amir和Baba的关系有所改观，但Amir心中的罪恶感却难以抹去，他的脑海里满是可怜Hassan被人欺凌，但他一句话也没有说，而且更让人心寒的是他也在疏远Hassan。Amir似乎在比赛后终于得到了爸爸的赏识，却失去了爸爸最珍视的品质——诚实。

在施暴事件的催化剂下，Amir的嫉妒开始转向病态，他内心的恶占据了上风。而可怜的Hassan一无所知，单纯善良的他一直在努力放下过去，并一直不明白为什么自己最好的朋友突然疏远自己，一次次讨好和祈求并没有起到任何作用，反而让Amir的不安越来越甚，痛苦越来越深。

Amir把Hassan骗到曾经一起嬉戏的小山，用曾经象征二人友谊的石榴挑衅，试图让Hassan猛烈地反击惩罚自己的罪过，但Hassan怎么舍得伤害他的好朋友！他沉默不语，忍受着巨大的委屈，默默地接受Amir的言语侮辱和攻击，当Amir的出气筒。Amir还试图劝Baba让Ali走，却不经意激怒了父亲，让二人的关系再度冷却了下去。

风平浪静的表面下，暗潮涌动，Amir成为了湖里的鬼怪，无法排解自己焦虑和伤痛的他，想尽办法拽Hassan到湖底。在Amir的生日那天，Hassan端着银盘服侍Assef的场景，成为了压死骆驼的最后一根稻草，Amir从此走上了不归路。