从2008到2018，从二十多岁到三十多岁，从青涩到落落大方，从懵懂到顿悟，从一颗小苗到随风摇曳的小树，十年北京，有幸跟多朋友分享了这期间经历的种种。临走之前，写封信感谢一下朋友们，有的陪伴了整整十年，有的仅有两月，突然发现重要的不是时间长短，而是the chemistry and spark of the bond, the intensity of the conversation, the quality of the talk and the level of engagement. 突然又发现，回看十年，曾经那些刻骨铭心的痛和恨早已随风而去，留在内心的只有感动和感谢，跟自己的心和解，给自己的心一个交代。如果将生命看做一条长河的话，那么现在划的不是句号，而是逗号或分号，真实的情感是流动的，真正的友谊是需要历经考验的，告别这一段，希望下一段旅程你依然还在。下附邮件原文，也分享给你，感谢阅读，也感谢有你。
Dear friend,
December 2018 marks 10 years and 5 months of my stay in Beijing. Some of you have known me longer than that (thanks for still being there with me), but today I am trying to deliver the message to those who have witnessed the ups and downs of my life and shed light on it, however long or brief, between 2008 and 2018. It’s my genuine intention to take this opportunity to thank you and say goodbye before I embark upon a new adventure in Canada from January 2019.
So what have I gained and learnt over the past 10 years? There are many, but on top of the long list, it is your friendship and the wonderful support that have made my time in Beijing most fascinating and life-changing. I will always remember the precious moments when we shared our sheer happiness of securing a decent job, starting a family or meeting an interesting person, and of course the struggles with career, family and relationships. You have always provided timely comforts, supports and inspirations and I wish I have done the same for you, making you feel that I was with you in spirit. You may argue that I would otherwise have made friends with another cohort of interesting people if I had gone to a different city. That seems true, but I chose Beijing and got to know you here. I often feel that the friends I have met here share a kindred spirit and are often on the same wavelength in thoughts and values. It doesn’t mean that our ideas are the same (in fact, that’s bad), but I have learnt to appreciate the tremendous value of different perspectives. Your broad and open mindedness have often inspired me and pushed me to put things into perspective, think more thoroughly, ask straight-to-the-point and deeper questions and consider the pros and cons of several options. It is not an easy process, but a journey that has enabled me to draw upon your experience and wisdom and construct my own system of doing things.
For example, ten years ago, I was very good at giving up things the moment I imagined possible hurdles. Yes, you may not believe me, but that was true. I knew myself and I was ashamed of myself to have let go of many opportunities. Doubts, regrets, pains and self-hatred seemed overwhelming at some point of the past decade, but it was you, at least some of you, who have showed me what it was like to step out of my comfort zone, demonstrate a high level of expertise and commitment and more importantly, the driving force to get things done and achieve a target. I have, therefore, found my bearings and learnt to forge ahead, gone the extra mile to become a better version of myself.
With regard to hard and soft skills, I started my career by becoming an English teacher, trying to bring silver lining to students’ struggle in language learning before studying abroad. It was the most rewarding job, emotionally speaking. Some of my former students have
later become good friends. Lucky me, I’ll probably be living in the same city with them in Canada. I then moved on to jobs that helped develop more of my professional skills, say, in project management, partnership building and cross-cultural communication, etc. These roles have, essentially, helped me understand the importance of objectives and set up an effective system to get things done. Yes, I seem to have got the hang of it now and I believe it will certainly pave my way to further develop myself both professionally and personally in the years to come.
For these outstanding reasons, I thank you dearly and I owe you lots of credits. My pending departure serves as a reminder of how precious you are and what your friendship means to me. I must always remember how you have inspired me and have been here witnessing a phenomenal period of my life, from an innocent and silly college graduate to a still premature but somewhat experienced person, from my middle 20s to middle 30s. Thank you for your friendship.
It is sometimes painful to have to make a trade-off between the opportunities work has to offer in Beijing and the new life which may draw me closer to the nature and diversity in Canada. Despite the incredible gratitude for my time in China, I think it is time to call it a decade, say goodbye and steer my way to the next stage of my life. My reflection is that life is not a ladder, but a spreadsheet that contains lots of dots in different dimensions.
I feel lucky that I do not have to start from scratch this time, but having been offered a consultant job from my current employer on a short-term but long-distance basis has made things a lot easier. Meanwhile, my other projects including an online IELTS course are in the pipeline.
I have limited idea of the challenging context in Canada, how daunting it may seem to me, but I am not afraid of it because you have helped me become a much stronger person, a person who will not be put off by challenges, but facing them head-on. Whatever happens, what matters the most is the courage to wage war against difficulties and the wisdom gained from the experience in the battlefield.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7 NIV)
Many thanks, my dear friend! Though we won’t be living in the same city in the future, I would like to hear from you when you have an interesting idea, meet an awesome person, get a new and challenging job, when you feel down or frustrated, move to another place, get married or have kids. I want to be with you in spirit and I will pray for you, pray that you’ll be strong and thankful in every situation, be guarded with a joyful and peaceful heart, pray that you’ll prevail in all circumstances. Please do continue to keep me updated about your movements and changes in life in the future. And I’ll see you around either here or in Canada.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
All best wishes,
Wenyan/Sally
24 December 2018
