Last Friday, I had a conversation with an colleague who is around 10 years older than me. She is not quite talkative sometimes. But that day, she said lots of meaningful things to me.
“Hazel, you are too hot-headed these days. You wanted to build a TM club in our office and that's a good thing. But you don't know what other colleges think. Don't be too persuasive every time you are in the office.”
All of a sudden, my heart sank. I could see some colleagues' repugnant faces while gossiping behind me.
At the same time, I knew it's the reality.
I worked in this company for 3 years and i started to promote TM club ever since last year when I just joined Toastmasters. I have learned a lot at Toastmasters and would really like to invite more people to grow together, my colleagues in particular. I love Toastmasters atmosphere and hope somehow we could have that in the company I worked for. It's a supportive and learning environment, an open and caring environment.
Imagine that, after lunch, colleagues walk into the meeting room in twos and threes. to e. njoy an inspiring TM meeting, making speeches, getting to know more team members' stories while letting yourself being heard. So after one year since the failure of promotion last time, I moved forward again.
With the confidence i gathered at Toastmasters, I reached out to HRD directly this time. She was interested in it. And i finally started to present at management meetings and all team meetings. It was exciting to present in front of all team members although it's online meeting.
Then it comes to next step-DEMO meeting arrangement.
Before long i realized how hard it's to move forward.
No budget is available even for club charter fee.
The L&D colleague i worked with always took it as some kind of training and worried about workload.
HR colleague even discouraged me from promoting the idea of building a corporate club.
I knew it's called reality.
So why?
Why did I start all this?
Why did I spend time and energy to do extra work in the office?
Helping colleagues is helping myself to learn and grow, to create win-win.
But I know, some colleagues don’t want to grow, they are content with their current status. If you tried to help them grow, it means breaking their comfort zone. It causes pain.
They knew public speaking is a good thing but at the same time, they don’t think it’s their priority now and they don’t want somebody else push them from behind.
Why I felt the hardships?
According to Karpman’s drama triangle, people may easily get inside drama triangle. Looking back of my case, I was “rescuer” at the beginning, aiming to help everyone who would like to grow. This is no problem actually. But then I got challenges and I felt uncertainties and started to worry about what other react. Then I became the “victim” but meanwhile, I also felt that the colleagues are no good.
Now I am at the status of “I am ok, you are not ok.” But under this statement, I couldn’t move forward lightly. Now my job is to go to the quadrant “I am ok, you are ok. ”
Understand the company structure and it’s limitations, still keep moving forward. This applies to everything at work and in life.
To promote an open and learnning experience.
Why do I do this?
Why do I devote so much time at Toastmasters? It's non-profit.
Why do I lead a English learning group? It's non-profit.
Why do I promote TM club in my company? It's non-profit.
