【赏析者】姓名
Hans has been going through a difficult period. He has a teacher who is very hard on him and whom he doesn’t like. When he is most unhappy with himself and most down in the dumps (usually when he is taking the school pressures out on us at home), he calls himself “stupid,” feels no one likes him because he is stupid, says he is the “stupid” of his class, and so on.
【段落大意】
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On one of these nights my husband sat down with him, with all the concern in the world:
FRANK: (gently) Hans, you’re not stupid.
HANS: I am too stupid. I’m a stupid stupid.
FRANK: But, Hans, you’re not stupid. Why, you’re one of the smartest eight-year-olds I know.
HANS: I am not. I’m stupid.
FRANK: (still gently) You’re not stupid.
HANS: I am too stupid.
【段落大意】
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On and on it went. I didn’t want to butt in and I couldn’t bear to listen, so I left the room. To his credit Frank never lost his temper, but Hans went to bed still saying he was stupid, still down in the dumps.
I went in to him. I had had a horrendous day with him. He had devoted most of the afternoon and evening to aggravating me, and I didn’t think I had it in me to cope with much more. But there he was lying in bed, miserably saying he was stupid and everyone hated him, so I went in. I didn’t even know what I had left in me to say. I just sat on the edge of the bed, exhausted. Then a phrase we used in class came to me and I said it almost mechanically: “Those are rough feelings to have.”
【段落大意】
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Hans stopped saying he was stupid and was silent for a minute. Then he said, “Yeah.” That somehow gave me the strength to go on. I just began talking randomly then about some of the nice or special things he’d said or done over the years. He listened for a while and then began participating with some of his own memories. He said, “Remember when you couldn’t find your car keys and you were looking all over the house and I said to look in the car and they were there.” After about ten minutes of this, I was able to kiss a boy good night who had restored his faith in himself.
【段落大意】
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Some parents were very comfortable with the idea of granting their children in fantasy what they couldn’t give them in reality. It was so much easier for these parents to say, “You wish you had . . .” than to have an all-out battle over who was right and why.
【段落大意】
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DAVID: (ten) I need a new telescope.
FATHER: A new telescope? Why? There’s nothing wrong with the one you already have.
DAVID: (heatedly) It’s a kid’s telescope!
FATHER: It’s perfectly adequate for a boy your age.
DAVID: No, it isn’t. I need a 200-power telescope.
FATHER: (I could see we were headed for a big fight. I decided to try to shift gears.) So you’d really like a 200-power telescope.
DAVID: Yeah, ’cause then I could see into the craters.
FATHER: You want to get a really close look at them.
DAVID: That’s right!
FATHER: You know what I wish? I wish I had enough money to buy you that telescope. No, with your interest in astronomy, I wish I had enough money to buy you a 400-power telescope.
DAVID: A 600-power telescope.
FATHER: An 800-power telescope.
DAVID: (getting enthusiastic) A 1,000-power telescope!
FATHER: A . . . A . . .
DAVID: (excitedly) I know . . . I know . . . If you could, you’d buy me the one at Mount Palomar!
【段落大意】
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As we both laughed, I realized what made the difference. One of the keys to giving in fantasy was to really let yourself go, to be “far out” fantastic. Even though David knew it wasn’t going to happen, he seemed to appreciate it that I took his longing so seriously.
【段落大意】
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