2020-02-18 多少可以改变？很多。
晚霞中的beach line非常美，我们一路散步，欣赏惊讶震惊海潮的汹涌，我一看就吓住了，肯定自己不会下去，建议尽头登山坡看日落或者james去游泳，但不适合我们在的中间位置，海浪敲击犹如巨浪滔天，吓死我！James不以为然，自己下去，我在岸上留意他，确实技术不错，可以自己潜入海底在巨浪袭击时候，等我们回去时候说被打击头部，但他身材状态都非常棒，我疑惑自己如何消耗掉残余的能量，james已经折腾差不多了，我游泳池干活！夕阳很美，但落下很快，等我回去已经黑天了，6.30结束，他建议我们meditate together，真是个不错的想法，蜡烛，香，我也可以很快专注。感恩可以一起做如此练习satsang，
晚餐我吃了蛮多的，因为eggplant cheese好吃，papadum也好吃，james吃饭非常专注，没有兴趣谈话，我试图引起话头，都没法继续，就放弃了。J非常能吃，起码buffet我们赚啦。之后我们聊天很久，覆盖很广：
James: are u financial independent on your yearly travel?
Lin: yes, for myself traveling one year I am ok.
James: I inherits some money and withdraw when I want to buy an apartment then did not buy and money is on my account(I thought he is going to offer money to me:+), I can do one year travel.
I was not sure what he means by talking this, either out of what I said dependency of others making me run away or he wants to spend more time with me to travel? Anyhow we will see. We had a good talk and went to the beach, seeing the star very shining and talk about our star experience in Yellowstone park and Egypt. Went back at 9pm to bed having great sex, in one moment I almost can not bear it since it is too stimulating and not sure how long we have been doing so might be one hour I almost fell into sleep and feel so hard to make him come. easy for me!
woke up at 3am and then got up at 4am went to Shala seeing two men sleeping there, I am just quite meditating there, when 5.30 went to beach, still dark, cooler this morning, 22 degrees, saw crab, shell crossing my mat, quite funny, three dogs try to disturb, then rest is great, view is from pinkish to red then suddenly white bright, sun came out as a momentary action, even with quite heavy food last night I was light and feeling great about myself with this spectacular environment, even without swimming in the sea, I am happy.
Back to room locked, then looking for receptionist opening the door, knowing it is typical James without thinking much of me, saw squirrel and frog in the shower room, back to the beach he is in the same spot, we did some movement which is more holistic from him and lying down on the sand, even always want to try and I did not manage to the currents, swam 5 laps in the pool.
excellent breakfast and beautiful view, we do not talk much, seeing James enjoying food. Yesterday I proposed to know each other better by choose a topic, today he said we go with organic way, ok, we did talk on sex that he does not need come and came to this small Shala now he is reciting the Sanskrit I am writing, we talked about our life inspiration a lot, we said both are outliers now together; I am aiming to teach and writing he is same just not in the same field.
organic
kashmir shaivism
did not want to talk previous relationship, not ready for kids and family, maybe future ready
freedom with kids
not bring another life to this world, my past time wanting to have baby: once with BF
Mālinīvijayottara Tantra outlines several major preconditions conferring the authority to practice Yoga:
The Yogin who has mastered posture [and] the mind, controlled the vital energy, subdued the senses, conquered sleep, overcome anger and agitation and who is free from deceit, should practise Yoga in a quiet, pleasant cave or earthen hut free from all obstructions.
Kashmir Shaivism or more accurately Trika Shaivism refers to a nondualist tradition of Śaiva-Śakta Tantra which originated sometime after 850 CE.[1][2] Though this tradition was very influential in Kashmir and is thus often called Kashmir Shaivism, it was actually a pan-Indian movement termed "Trika" by its great exegete Abhinavagupta, which also flourished in Oḍiśā and Mahārāṣṭra.[2][3] Defining features of the Trika tradition is its idealistic and monistic Pratyabhijnā ("Recognition") philosophical system, propounded by Utpaladeva (c. 925–975 CE) and Abhinavagupta (c. 975–1025 CE), and the centrality of the three goddesses Parā, Parāparā, and Aparā.
most learning in Thailand 2008 coming to mysore, visit Kashmir twice, feel comfortable with KS.
we did so many things: interesting how much u can do within a retreat with J!
aerial yoga, he is super friendly, a bit too much but ok la. challenge discomfort, Australian girl with Zimbabwe BF for 3.5 years in Talalla, recommend where to swim, James is into surf, I am NOT. good time in tall Shala he is carrying me on shoulder on squad after handstand patient coaching, I wonder why he wants to teach me so much? then we back...........for quite a long period of time for all kinds of fantasy most wild dreams coming true or beyond imagination.
Dinner talk is never good with him since he is so focusing on eating, my god, then we go to fire place hs is singing, 9.37pm back he is again.............massage is good I was exhausted now knowing how aging can do with woman in such situation, too much.
