The Psychological of Love
One of the most important human emotions is love.
However, there are many different kinds of love.
Romantic love is certainly one of the most interesting kinds of love.
It can be beautiful, wonderful, and heartbreaking, sometimes all at the same time.
Romantic love can make our lives full and meaningful, but it can also be an escape from loneliness and suffering.
Besides romantic love, another kind of love is between parents and children.
If romantic love has a purpose, neither psychology nor biology has discovered it.
However, throughout history, philosophers have offered opinions about it.
The Greek philosopher, Plato, said love makes us complete.
He relates a comic story in which humans originally had 4 arms, 4 legs and 2 faces.
Then, when they angered the Gods, they were cut in half.
Since then every person has been searching for their soulmate, the other half of his or her self.
Another philosopher believed that love is an illusion.
In his view, people fall in love because they believe the other person can make them happy.
But in fact, this is just an illusion designed to make us have children.
Once we have children, we are right back to where we were, still searching for happiness.
For nature this is a success, because we have children to maintain our species.
But it leaves us still searching for something more.
According to this philosopher what is the real purpose of love? It's designed to maintain our species.
If something is an illusion, it isn’t what it seems to be.
Some people say love can be a disguise for our sexual desires or a biological trick to make us to have children.
In Buddhism, romantic love is seen as an attempt to satisfy our desires.
These desires are a defect, something we need to overcome.
The way to free ourselves from suffering is to remove desires.
Once free of desires we can reach a state of peace and wisdom.
This state of being is called nirvana.
According to Buddhism how can we free ourselves from suffering? overcome our desires
Other kinds of love include the love between a parent and child.
In one of China's greatest classical novels, Dream of the Red Chamber, love is presented as a state of foolishness.
A young man falls in love with a beautiful woman who tricks and makes a fool of him.
This results in conflicting emotions of love and hate which tear him apart.
To cure him, a priest gives him a magic mirror.
The priest tells him to look into the reverse side of the mirror, but never to look in the front side.
What side of the mirror is he supposed to look into? the reverse side
When the young man looks into the mirror, he doesn't like what he sees, so he looks into the forbidden side, the front side.
There he sees the lovely image of his love, who invites him into the mirror to be with her.
He does this several times until he is finally dragged away in chains.
He dies while looking into the mirror.
Perhaps the point of the story is that all such attachments should be avoided.
Why does the young man look into the forbidden side of the mirror ? he doesn't like what he sees in the mirror.
What finally happens to the young man? He is dragged away in chains and dies.
He enters the mirror to be with his love and satisfy his desires.
The way to free ourselves from suffering is to remove desires.
He is dragged away in chains and dies while looking into the mirror.
The priest tells him to look into the reverse side of the mirror, but never to look in the front side.
A famous French writer, Simone de Beauvoir has another point of view.
For her, love is the desire to integrate with another, like in a great friendship.
However, it is important what lovers not become too dependent on the other person.
Becoming dependent on another person can lead to boredom or power games.
Lovers should support each other in discovering themselves and developing their potentials.
In this way, romantic love can enrich the world.
According to this writer, lovers should avoid becoming too dependent on the other person.
Falling in love can be exciting and frightening.
Maybe we lose ourselves and maybe we find ourselves.
Will you dare to find out?
