导读:没有人是一座孤岛,我们每个人都彼此连接;孤独也并不可耻,重点是我们要学会与孤独相处,享受孤独,作者认为读书便是一种 不错的选择。
Fortunate owners of working fireplaces in my neighbourhood have their chimneys swept by a father-and-son team of great kindliness and charm. Once every couple of years is enough, they say, unless you keep a fire burning every day. So they were surprised when a new customer called them back after only a month. Had they done something wrong? No, not at all. Eventually they realised that she wanted company so badly she was prepared to pay for quite unnecessary work.
我的邻居很幸运的拥有自己的壁炉,她雇用了一对友好而有魅力的父子为她清扫了烟囱。这对父子说,除非你的壁炉一直生着火,否则这种清扫每两年一次就足够了。所以,当一个新客户在一个月后便再次找到他们,让他们感到非常吃惊。这位客户有什么错误的行为吗?不,完全不是。最终父子俩意识到:她是如此渴望有人陪伴,她已经准备好了为不必要的事项开支。
What have we become? A society in which someone can have hundreds of online friends and yet go for days without human contact. Where the face-to-face encounters that once punctuated daily lives – and gave opportunities for the sort of casual conversation which, no matter how banal or weather-centred, makes real connections between one person and another – have largely been replaced by automaton. We swipe and scan; we click; we text people in the next room instead of speaking to them.
我们变成什么样子了呢?我们生活在这样一个社会:一个人可以有几百个网友,却很多天都没有人与人之间的接触;面对面交流一旦打破日常生活——无论谈话内容多么无聊或者以天气为中心,都会为家常谈话提供机会,能够使人与人之间有真正的接触——而现在这些习惯已经在很大程度上被自动机器取代。我们刷卡和扫描;我们敲击键盘;我们甚至与隔壁的人短信交流,而不是和他们讲话。
Loneliness can be dangerous. Recent research suggests that it may shorten people’s lives and make them more vulnerable to serious illness. It could be said to be a modern plague. It can distort senses of reality and even become an element in the lethal mess that drives a few desperate young men – and yes, they are almost always young men – to open fire on a cinema audience or a classroom full of children. Electronic voices on various devices can be the only ones some people hear. And what those voices say is not always true.
孤独有时是危险的。最近研究表明,孤独可能会缩短人的寿命,使人更容易受到重大疾病的侵袭。可以说,孤独是一种现代瘟疫。它可以扭曲对现实的感知,甚至是导致致命危机的一种元素——在坐满观众的影院、或满是学生的教室开枪。人们只能听到在不同设备上播出的各种电子声音。而且这些声音表达的观点并不总是正确的。
Our sympathy for fictitious can translate into compassion in real life
我们对小说人物的同情可以转化为真实生活中的怜悯
No man is an island, we are frequently reminded – but not to obvious effect. There are those who choose to lead solitary lives, and live them well, but on the whole we are sociable beings and we suffer if we are on our own too much. Human interaction makes us happier, and although virtual relationships can be very positive, ideally they need the counterbalance of actuality.
没有人是一座孤岛,我们经常被想起——但并没有明显的效果。有些人会选择过一种孤独的生活,并且过得很好,但是总的来说我们是社会动物,而且如果我们独处太久,会觉得备受折磨。人际互动使我们更开心,尽管虚拟关系可以是非常积极的,但理想状态是人们还需要现实关系的平衡。
So what could lonely people do to make real friends? An answer, among many, is to read more books. Reading begins alone but becomes a shared activity when a reader, for example, joins a book group, attends a literary festival or signs up for a continuing education course on an aspect of literature that interests them. There’s no shame in turning up to any of these alone, and fellowship is guaranteed. Fellow readers may well turn out be like-minded; it’s a basis for new friendships and sustained relationships. Sharing an understanding of a book is a good way of sharing feelings safely, without the need for painful revelation. Literary characters can be useful as personas.
那么,孤独的人能够做些什么来交到真实的朋友呢?对很多人来说,就是多读书。阅读始于孤独,但当一位读者加入一个读书小组、参加一个文化节或者报名了一个她感兴趣的有关文学的某个方面的继续教育课程,读书会慢慢变成一种分享活动。任何一种形式的孤独都不可耻,而且这种友谊是可以信赖的。书友很可能是志同道合的,而这是一段友谊开始的基础,也是维持一段关系的前提。分享关于一本书的理解,是安全地分享感受的一种很好的方式,不需要痛苦的启示。文学人物可以像人物角色一样有用。
But there is another important reason why everyone should read more books, and in particular fiction. The responsibility to combat loneliness lies with those who do not suffer from it. Lonely people often feel that there is no one out there, no one who understands them or can share their point of view. They need to know that actually there are. That requires everybody else to make the imaginative leap of feeling that connection, and reading fiction helps. It makes people more empathic – sympathy for fictitious characters can translate into compassion in real life.
但是,对于为什么每个人都应该多读书(尤其是小说),还有另外一个重要原因。与孤独斗争的责任存在于那些并不被孤独所苦的人。孤独的人通常认为没有人可以理解他们,没有人可以分享他们的观点。他们需要认识到,这样的人确实存在。这就需要每个不感到孤独的人,发挥自己的想象力去感受那种连接,而阅读对此很有帮助。阅读使人更能设身处地的理解别人的感觉——对虚拟小说人物的同情,可以转化为对现实生活中人物的怜悯。
The stories of strangers reach us through many means: news bulletins, interviews, biography and memoir, but also drama and fiction.
我们可以通过多种方式接触到陌生人的故事:新闻简报、访谈、传记和回忆录,不过戏剧和小说也可以。