我活着，却不活在自己里
--圣十架约翰（雪辰译）
我活着却不活在自己里
在岁月的流逝中等待着
死去，因为我不会死
我不再活在自己里面
没有上主，我不能活着
若我不能够将自己交付他
那么活着意味着什么呢？
一千种苦痛中的死
在岁月的流逝中等待着
死去，因为我不会死
我在自己里的此生
我看是强盗的人生，
因此是不断的死，没有出路
直到你与我同在
上主啊，求聆听我，我所说的是真实的：
我不想要我自己的人生
死去，因为我不会死
若是生命远离你
我要在这里度过怎样的人生
死是如此丑陋和严峻
比任何形式的苦痛更糟糕
我无比自怜--然而我的命运确是
我必须守着这个谎言
死去，因为我不会死
鱼从海里被打捞上来，
并不是毫无指望
他会在短时间死去
并将永获释放
但有什么能够比拟我的苦痛人生
它将是怎样在重复的阵痛中死去
活得越久，死的经验越多
我的上主，请将我从死亡中救赎
赐予我生命；可是现在
你用绳子将我严严困锁
我祈求你松开绳索
看我是怎样在死中见到你，我的上主
我在地上粉身碎骨
死去，因为我不会死
当我开始感到释放
因在圣事中见到你
我却落进更深的不满足
失去了你甜蜜的同在
诸事都在挤压着我的悲伤：
我渴望 -- 却不能够 --靠近你
死去，因为我不会死
主啊，我虽找到自己的喜乐，
就是盼望有一天会见到你
但又发觉我会失去你
这使我的痛苦加倍地严酷
因此我住在最黑暗的恐惧里面
在岁月的流逝里期盼等待
死去，因为我不会死
死神将激动我哭泣
我也为自己的生命悲哀：
有一天我会偏离正路
跌倒并不断犯罪
哦天父上帝，当这一切发生时
我会诚实无伪地说：
我活着，因为我不会死
I Live yet do not Live in Me
--by St. John of the Cross
I live yet do not live in me,
am waiting as my life goes by,
and die because I do not die.
No longer do I live in me,
and without God I cannot live;
to him or me I cannot give
myself, so what can living be?
A thousand deaths my agony
waiting as my life goes by,
dying because I do not die.
This life I live alone I view
as robbery of life, and so
it is a constant death — with no
way out until I live with you.
God, hear me, what I say is true:
I do not want this life of mine,
and die because I do not die.
Being so removed from you I say
what kind of life can I have here
but death so ugly and severe
and worse than any form of pain?
I pity me — and yet my fate
is that I must keep up this lie,
and die because I do not die.
The fish taken out of the sea
is not without a consolation:
his dying is of brief duration
and ultimately brings relief.
Yet what convulsive death can be
as bad as my pathetic life?
The more I live the more I die.
When I begin to feel relief
on seeing you in the sacrament,
I sink in deeper discontent,
deprived of your sweet company.
Now everything compels my grief:
I want — yet can’t — see you nearby,
and die because I do not die.
Although I find my pleasure, Sir,
in hope of someday seeing you,
I see that I can lose you too,
which makes my pain doubly severe,
and so I live in darkest fear,
and hope, wait as life goes by,
dying because I do not die.
Deliver me from death, my God,
and give me life; now you have wound
a rope about me; harshly bound
I ask you to release the cord.
See how I die to see you, Lord,
and I am shattered where I lie,
dying because I do not die.
My death will trigger tears in me,
and I shall mourn my life: a day
annihilated by the way
I fail and sin relentlessly.
O Father God, when will it be
that I can say without a lie:
I live because I do not die?
说明：以上是英译版，原文是西班牙语
