ibad emotions filled up my body like waste bubbles,alongside my organs,upper and upper.
actually,i felt more relax that i found wrtiting,thinking and tallking in english instead of chinese.
the situtation just like what my trainer of the colleage military said"i hate this city because all the baddest things happend here."given that,i can say i hate my mother language cause of all of the bad things i ever met with it.
oh it's a lot of help to relax.i finnally can express myself without bricks.there was a long time not to see me in word.and it actually a long time that i'm not used to using my mother language after my junior high school at grade 7 to 8.
today i watched a series play called NEVER HAVE I EVER. the charcters in it just living like my dreams. they do things bravely,frankly,have the courage to face the mistakes they did ago,the guys they kissed,dated and fired csn be friends,receive blank love from familys which i don't owe. how can be so handsome they live! every time i saw them i want to say NEVER HAVE I EVER ！？things like they are the cool guys i look forward,wnt to be,and missed though we met and won't know forever. yeah i have to admit that i have battery for social and life,neverless i'm 18 and enter to the collage. but the thoughts,emotions,memorys,things i don't except still alive in my life. the things i know that is i was in a hard time and hurted form my famliys for several times even in that time when really need help. the lowest ways of them passed (influenced) me.i don't believe the word from them. how dare you let someone insecurity with money,theselves,partner and even the world to teach you just believe them and how to be security?
in facts,i was aways jealess of other…………
yesterday stay up too late.
