耿直质朴的美国人民，你们变了！这本一发行就viral疯传起来的奇书 “100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings: How to Get By Without Even Trying”（中文应该翻译成《100个开会装逼小技能：混的自然才装逼于无形》），深入浅出、招招致命。小天精选了其中最厉害的大招，请大家一起仔细阅读一遍，同时自行脑补老板，哈哈哈简直神了，条条都中的说的就是……嘘，小天才不会吐槽自家老板呢（机智）。
话说回来，既然从美国到中国，老板们都在用，那么小天怀着深度学习的心情，仔细整理成了这份神奇的指南，指南分成四个部分：日常基础系列、电话会议系列和戏精学院加戏需谨慎系列。准备好了吗？我们也一起学习起来吧，年底升职加薪就靠它啦！
日常基础系列
“Nod continuously while pretending to take notes”
用纸笔记笔记，并不时点头
“Always bring a notepad with you. Your rejection of technology will be revered. Take notes by simply writing down one word from every sentence that you hear. Nod continuously while doing so.”
为什么一定是纸笔呢，这么说吧，小天有幸参与过某BAT内部高层会议，四个VP都在用纸质的本子，还都是MOLESKINE牌子的！以为互联网公司就是应该无纸办公的，你们too young too simple啦，你们猜Evernote印象笔记的高管开会用什么？还是MOLESKINE！是MOLESKINE跟Evernote的合作限量款！
“Translate percentage metrics into fractions”
把百分比转化成分数形式，再说一遍
“If someone says, “About 25 percent of all users click on this button,” jump in with, “So about one in four,” and make a note of it. Everyone will nod their heads in agreement, secretly impressed and envious of your quick math skills.”
不要以为在电商打折活动，把每个人都训练成精于计算的数学家的中国，这招就不灵了。事实是，这是展现你在深度思考的小妙招，别人会觉得你心里有一个别的更大的picture。这种搞法还有一个更狠的，我们放在电话会议系列再讲。
Encourage everyone to “take a step back”
“大家冷静一下，我们从头捋捋”
“There comes a point in most meetings where everyone is chiming in, except you. This is a great point to go, “Guys, guys, guys, can we take a step back here?” Everyone will turn their heads toward you, amazed at your ability to silence the fray.
开会总有人人都讨论的热火朝天、只有你被left out的时候，这时就要咸鱼翻身的来一句“大家冷静一下，我们从头捋捋”，然后再跟一句“我们要解决的问题说到底究竟是什么？”，好啦，全场当然你最有大局观啦，enjoy。
Ask “Will this scale?” no matter what it is
追问“你这个模式能复制吗？”
“It’s important to find out whether things will scale no matter what it is you’re discussing. No one even really knows what that means, but it’s a good catchall question that generally applies and drives engineers nuts.”
你这个模式能复制吗？成长性怎么样？这真的是万能金句，无论什么内容、无论说给谁听，都是一招制敌。每一个创业者如果没有听过2万次，我都只能说你还不够努力啊！
Ask the presenter to go back a slide
“稍等，我能再看一下上一页PPT吗？”
“Sorry, could you go back a slide?” They’re the seven words no presenter wants to hear. It doesn’t matter where in the presentation you shout this out; it’ll immediately make you look like you’re paying closer attention than everyone else is, because clearly they missed the thing that you’re about to brilliantly point out.
是不是说完立刻全场身份最高！如果看了上一页却没什么想要补充的？完全没关系，你只需要盯着屏幕几秒钟，然后从容的说“嗯，好的可以了。”
电话会议系列
Ask if everyone’s here
问“是不是大家都在了？”
虽然看着像是废话，但是你一秒就变成了会议host有没有？
Stop the meeting to pull up the data
中途停下会议，提醒大家打开excel表格看数据
就你最心怀天下啦，等大家都乖乖打开excel啊PDF啊这些文件之后呢，你就 “OK, we can go ahead now,” then go back to reading sports or celebrity news。
Take the call using some “cutting-edge” technology
你有黑科技吗？有就晒出来
智能手表智能耳机，随便什么智能的新玩具，赶紧用出来，每个团队都需要一个“有趣的灵魂”担当，你就不要客气啦。
When someone mentions a large number, put it in terms of a city or country
遇到大数字，立刻转化成具像化的人口
“新季度要2500万单的业绩增长吗？也就是说全上海人人手一个喽。”真的厉害死你啦，全场你最聪明。这就是关于数字，最大的招啊。小天还贴心的给大家打个小抄：成都人口1600万，香港人口740万，台北市人口270万，回龙观常住人口50万。
戏精学院加戏需谨慎系列
Say you’re just wrapping something up
做会议室的boss
“Get to the meeting early and start reading e-mail. When your coworker arrives, he’ll get the sense that he’s coming into your office. After greeting him warmly, say you’re just wrapping something up and ask him to wait a minute.
早点到会议室，然后开始看邮件，别的与会者进来的时候呢，就会产生他走进了你的办公室的错觉，主场优势妥妥的。你还可以日理万机的说“就快好了”，会议室boss诞生！
Sit next to the person leading the meeting
挨着老板坐
“Sit next to the person leading the meeting. Act as if you are conferring with him about the agenda and backing him up at the appropriate times.
这个，呵呵，原来美国戏精也是这么给自己加戏了啊。
Ask someone else to control the slides
请别人帮你给PPT翻页
是不是特别自然、特别smooth的就当上了你同事的上级！
“When someone asks for a business card, say you might have one left”
当别人问你要名片的时候，说“哦，我可能还剩下一张”。
“Always make it seem like you might have just given your last business card away but then finally find one. ”
戏要上全套，还要摸口袋寻找这“最后一张名片”，全场最红就是你啦。
“As the meeting is ending, ask a few people to hang back to talk about a separate issue”
会议结束时说，“某某某，请留一下”
“When you ask one or two people to stay a few extra minutes, it makes the rest of the group wonder what you’ll be discussing, why they weren’t invited, and what top secret project you’ve got brewing up your sleeve.”
留下聊什么根本不重要，戏才重要，因为这会让其他同事无限地羡慕嫉妒。你们大可以留下聊聊晚上去哪喝一杯，或者谁有好牙医介绍吗。
好啦，从硅谷到华尔街，全美国都在用的开会装逼指南都在这啦，不知道你家老板中了几个？还意犹未尽想购买原版书籍的，这本书美国亚马逊在售，请支持正版图书。不过小天也提醒你，装逼需谨慎，出来混，迟早是要还哒。虽说Karma is a bitch，不过适度装逼，也是职场必备技能，愿大家都可以年底升职加薪，换房换车不换爱人哦。
