Why WAIT TO BE GREAT

Chapter1 There Are Only Two Times in Life: Now and Too Late!

Grief is a necessary part of healing. By wanting Lynn to not feel her grief, I was trying to protect myself from the pain of death. We try so hard to run away from the really painful emotions of life, yet they must be experienced; otherwise, we can’t move on.

Our most painful memories are usually only exacerbated when we try to numb the feeling by running away. I spent many years of my life filled with shame and anger about my past, trying to pretend that it never happened. I too have experienced dark times in which I simply wanted to be able to erase some of those unpleasant, painful memories, and I also spent many of my younger years stuck in that empty hole called “What if?”

小时候爸妈常常吵架，小学时代的我就暗暗下定决心，以后长大了一定要走得远远的。

等到中学，离家寄宿，这个目标迈出了第一步：终于脱离爸妈的“牢笼”了。

于是，我常常以学习为由，一个月才回家一次。而学校和家，不过是不到1个小时的车程。那时候，小车还没有普及，1个小时的车程，不远也不近。

不回家的时候呢，老爸会时不时带好吃的来看我，并反复叮嘱我：身体是革命的本钱，一定要吃好用好。

老妈也偶尔会来，像是统一了口径，和老爸的叮嘱如出一辙：身体是革命的本钱，要吃好用好。

这样的画风，让我更加不愿回家，仿佛只要我不回家，他们就不会吵架。

等到读大学了，我去了更远的城市。这下，眼不见心不烦了吧。我暗自庆幸，又莫名感伤。

我庆幸，我远离了永无休止的争吵。我感伤，我如何能远离？

彼时读大学的我，终于良心发现。我希望，在他们的紧张关系中，能做点什么。

我时不时打电话回去，关心家里的状况。老妈时不时抱怨老爸常常晚归，我便安慰她，放宽心。听得出来，老妈对老爸有无限的依赖。老爸则总是一切安好，让我安心学习，我也时不时提醒老爸工作不要太累，给家人留点时间。在我的左右太极下，爸妈的关系逐渐缓解了。

四年大学时光匆匆而过。很快，我们都面临着择业的向往和迷茫。

我曾誓言要走得远远的。

可是，“父母在，不远游”呐。

我听见老妈在呼唤我回家。

我想，我的心该回家了。

Either Grief or conflict, it is part of our life. Touch it, feel it, till you get over it.