这篇文章是我在Toastmaster头马7分钟备稿演讲的英文稿基础上翻译的。
大家好，我很荣幸在这么多新客人面前作备稿演讲。我将成为今晚最佳的备稿演讲，因为我们今晚只有我一个备稿演讲者。
首先，你觉得很难理解你的父母吗？或者，你不知道怎么和他们相处好？
（观众深有同感，表示是的）
今晚，我想分享一些我和我妈妈的故事。
第一个故事是关于一盘炒土豆丝。一天晚上，我弟弟炒了一盘土豆丝。当我妈妈看到土豆丝的颜色如此“平淡”，她的脸变黑了，开始质问我弟：“你没有放酱油吗？不放酱油，味道太淡了。”我试着安慰她，“没关系，都很好。”
后来，她忍不住抱怨起来：“味道太淡了，孩子们都不喜欢。你为什么不放酱油？“那真是让我弟火冒三丈，他尽可能有节制地回答：”如果我不做，你会抱怨我什么都不做。现在我做了，你又抱怨不好。”然后，我妈妈去厨房拿了一瓶酱油，倒了点在土豆丝上。
另一个故事是关于我的面部表情。有一次，我肚子不舒服，我告妈我有点不舒服。几分钟后，当她看到我痛苦的脸，她不满地责骂我。“为什么你的脸看起来像这样？”我有气无力地回答：“我不舒服。”。10分钟后，我越发不舒服，也许我的脸部表情已经扭曲了，妈又用更的声调责骂我：“你为什么又摆出这样的脸色？“那一刻，我忍不住，尽力压抑着愤怒，“我都说了我不舒服。”
最后一个故事是关于猪，我不准备谈猪肉价格飞涨的事。这个故事发生在我父亲葬礼七天后。当然，那时候，我和妈妈还是很伤心。我们在回顾葬礼的安排。我犯的一个错误，但并不是什么大不了的事，只是因为我不知道这方面的传统做法。她对此一脸严肃地评论说：“你真跟猪一样愚蠢。”那一刻我感到很伤心，气得一句话也说不出来。我立刻拿起包走了。我妈还不知道我有多伤心和生气，还在抱怨“我说你的事有问题吗？”今天，回顾这件事，我安慰自己，基于飞涨的猪肉价格，我妈说的是对我的赞扬。----听起来，是不是有点苦涩？！
从这三个故事中，你可以看到，我妈，她非常注重把事情做好。她是一个非常注重结果的人。然而，她对我们的情绪和感受不太在意。她缺乏一定的同情心。是的，我记得，小时候，我很容易被她批评，当我没有达到她的高标准。另一方面，我很少得到她的赞扬。
所以，从我小时候开始，我和妈妈的关系就不那么亲密。现在，我想改变这个，我试着去理解她。也许部分原因是，她的个性与她相伴而生。或者，部分是因为她的成长环境。我试着想象她童年时的情景。
小时候，她是一个贫穷家庭中四个兄弟的姐姐。她的父亲、我的外公在离家很远的地方工作，我的外婆是村里一个安静而胆小的女人。在这样的一个家庭里，她要承担很多，她要做的就是要坚强，承担很多家务和农活。所以，为什么我妈总是把精力放在做事上，这是可以理解的。
一枚硬币有两面。当我和妈妈吵架时，我试着想想她有什么优点。她爱我们。她不求回报为我们做很多事。她也有乐观的一面。她喜欢动物。多亏了她，我小时候有猫和其他动物陪伴。她是个节俭、勤奋、有毅力的人。
好的一面和坏的一面一起出现是很自然的。所以，不要期望改变任何人。
以上这些，是我脑子里分析出来的，这还远远不够。理解是第一步。为了和妈妈有一个更好的关系，我需要回报我的爱，耐心地和她交流，也感受她的快乐和悲伤。感谢她为我们所做的一切，从内心欣赏她身上的闪光点。
最后，试着用智慧和幽默来解决冲突、争吵。例如，在前面的故事里，我可以回答“是的，我是一头蠢猪，但是是一头价格飞涨的猪。”为什么不呢？
这是我今晚的分享。理解，包容，欣赏，有效的沟通，我认为这些都适用于很多亲密的关系，不管是父母，孩子，朋友还是伴侣。
愿你们所有人都能与家人和睦相处。谢谢！
Hello everyone, it’s my honor to give a speech inpresence of so many new guests. I’m gonna to be the best prepared speaker oftonight as we have only one prepared speech.
Do you find it’s hard to understand your parents?Or you don’t know how to get along well with them?
Tonight, I want to share some stories between my mum and I
The first story was about a dish of frying potato shreds.One night, my brother fried a dish of potato shreds. When my mum sawcolor of the fried potato slices look so plain, her face turned dark and beganto question my brother: “you did not put soya source in it? It’s not deliciousat all. The flavor is too plain.” I tried to calm her down, “no worry. It’sfine.”
Later, she couldn’t help herself and scolded at mybrother again, “The taste is so bad that the children dislike it.! Why didn’tyou put soya source?” That really set my brother on the fire, he replied withconstraints “If I don’t cook, you will complain I do nothing. Now I cook, youcomplain it is not good.” Then my mother went to the kitchen to take a bottleof soya source and poured some on the sliced potato.
Another story was about my facial expression. One night, I was not feeling well on my stomach and I told my mum that Iwas sick. Yet few mins later, when she saw my painful face, she scolded at mewith dissatisfaction. “why your face look like this?” I replied without any energies“I am sick”. Then just 10 mins later, I got more sick and maybe my face hadbeen twisted, my mum again scolded at me at a higher tone “why did you showyour face like this?” At that moment, I couldn’t help myself, almost shoutedback “I have said that I am sick.”
The last story is about pig.I’m notgoing to talk about the soaring price of the pork. This story happed after sevendays of my father’s funeral. Of course, my mum and I was still very sad at thatmoment. We talked about the arrangement of the funeral. For one mistake I made,actually, it’s not a very big deal, just because I didn’t know a traditional practiceabout this, she commented that with a serious face “you are as stupid as a pig”.I felt seriously hurt at that moment and was too angry to utter a single word.I immediately picked up my bag and left. My mum did not realize how sad andangry I was, still complaining “Is it a problem that I say sth about you?” Today,Looking back to this story, I console myself it’s a kind of praise from my Mumgiving the high price of pork.
From these three stories, you can see, my mum, she pays a lot attention to get things done and make everything fine. Sheis a very result-oriented person. Yet, she doesn’t t pay much attention to ouremotions, feelings. She lacks of certain compassion. Yes, I remember, I wouldeasily be criticised by her because I didn’t meet her high standard. I rarelygot praise from her for what I had done.
So my relationship with my mum is not so close since my childhood.Now as a child’s Mum, I want to change this, I tried to understand her. Maybepartly, her personality was born with her. Or partly, it is because of hergrowing up environment. I tried to imagine what happened in her childhood.
When she was young, she was the elder sister of 4 brothers in a poor family. Her father, my grandpa worked far away from home and mygrandma was a quiet and timid woman in the village. So what she had to do is tobe strong and bear lots of housework. So it’s understandable why my Mum wouldfocus much on getting things done.
One coin has two sides. When I haveargument with my mum, I try to think about the virtues she has. She loves us.She does lots things for us but for nothing. She also has an optimistic side.She loves animals. Thanks to her, I had cats and other animals accompanied inmy childhood. She is thrifty, hard-working person with perseverance.
It’s natural the good side coming along with a negative one.So, don’t expect to change anyone.
Even though I know that in brain, it’s far from enough. Understanding isthe very first step. To have a betterrelationship with my Mum, I need to give back my love, to communicate with herin patience, also feeling her happiness and sadness. Being thankful for whatshe have done for us, appreciate her shining points from heart.
Lastly, try to learn to solve the conflict withwisdom and humors. For example, in my case, I can reply “yes, I am a stupid pigbut in a soaring price.” Why not?
That’s my sharing of tonight.I think it’s also applying in many close relationships, no matterparents , children, your friend or your partner.
May all of you enjoy good relationships with yourfamilies. Thank you.
