It is the spring time, everything is sprouting.Three weeks ago I went the Bijiashan Park with a friend of mine, at then I was anxious, in want of some inspiration about my worries over this year's business because of the budget change. During the talk, hardly that we noticed that it was last year we met for the last time although living in the same city. As we approached deeper into the park onto the mountain, I saw fields of flowers at the night thriving and blossoming in the darkness. The scene was so alive that I thought to myself, I should come to see them during the day time before they are gone. That night, we catched up after one year later. I felt as if nothing had changed.
Back to this spring festival, I spent more time with family. A spicy sour rice noodle as night snack, home-made dishes anytime as meals made by my mother, a fine movie "Call Me By Your Name", adorable younger generations to play stupid with and a doze-off-any-time easy life style during one of the world's busiest migration. I asked myself, what does one man desire for more? I mean, what could I possibly desire for more?
At this time of the year, thousands of cherry trees in my hometown are embracing the vernal season in full bloom. Sometimes at night, I dreamed of all the petals falling in the traditional Chinese yard that I live vivdly, in my dreams, I remember the tenderness of the white and pink petal; I could smell the light earth and the scent of the wet clay after the thunder rain; I longed to see so desperately the rainbow arching across the sky as I ran into my grandmother's arms when I was little. The reunion with my family was almost the same as last year, even my nose gallic acid and my red eyes were the same at the reunion and at the departure. The intense emotions stayed the same, but all the wrinkles on my mother's face, the heavy steps of my grandmother's feet, my nephew's fifth-year birthday, my uncle's illness and the great changes that are taking places in the city I grew up, every little dot reminds me that, something, and maybe a lot of things are never going to be the same. It is an overwhelming realization that I am truly and really an adult already.
The Tomb Sweeping Day is coming, it will be soon be the tenth anniversary of my grandfather's death, and the second anniversary of my biological grandmother's death. Even after years of their physically bodies gone, I still remember so clearly about them. Every part of the nature, each yellowish dim light in the city, old bicycle along the alley, the purple mountain slop at the dawn... ... everything I see and meet reminds me of mygrandpa.Years later, I realize that my grandfather is alive not only in my heart but everywhere, along with his righteousness, courageousness, kindness, and genuineness.
I used to believe that all people crave for the depth of all things, I was wrong. But the intense hatred of shadowness and the firm belief of profoundness somehow are my understandings of human emotions and love. I love my grandparents so deeply that I feel the love will never cease. It will not cease because I carry the depth of love on with my life which is not my own but is rather bounded to others.
In the days spent with you, the students and the parents I have found joy. In the work that I am doing, I have found values. Epicurus believes that death is not to be feared, he also claims that it is of greater importance to remember the happiness that we once experience than pursuing the never-ending desires. I know that I have gone seperate ways with a lot of people in the past thirty year's of my life already, and I will bid goodbyes to a lot of more people in the coming years. Today, I need to say goodbye to you as well.
But your sincerity, efficient work, respectable effort, genuineness, patience, kindness, generosity, integrity, support, resilience, greater spectrum and all other beautiful qualities that were shown, given to me and to the AG community, I am grateful and fortunate to have fought with you so closely last year. On behalf of the students and the parents, I will keep what you have given to us with me and move forward with this ever-green spirit that you so generously share with me, all back at you. Ere this sad departure, I have also found meanings, a new challenge which gives birth to new opportunities bridging two countires with a global citizen perspective.
In Tang Dynasty, a Chinese poet Gaoshi wrote this line to his friend he left, "Fear nothing ahead of you, fear no friends will part with you, because who wouldn't want a friend like you?" At the closure of this page, I wish you the same.
I will see you when I see you friend.
Affectionately,
Ivy Zhou
