-Denzel,the most important thing in civil war reenactment  is historical accuracy.

-Just because you are big baby ,you deprived me of a grandmother.The one person whose job it is to spoil me.

-You forgot to dust ou plant when you were little.That's why your father left.

-Spank me

-We'll just call that strike one, don't be silly boy.

I was thrown out of the nursing home.Apparantly,when your roommate cheats at bingo, you're not allowed to cut her feeding tube.So I'm moving here forever.

Insurance adjuster is telling us the smartest thing to do would be to set fire to this building.Even the soil [ on which] the building stands has been rendered barren for generations to come.So short answer, there will be no taping, not for you, not ever, please go.

Witnesses report seeing  some sort of giant orange sea cow in the vicinity.

-Who are you?

-Name's Buzz Buzzer.I'm a professional game show "host-age".

-How often are popular game show hosts held hostage?

-More than you think.

2012,Family Feud,You think Richard died of natural causes?

2006 <Pess your luck> You think Peter retired?

Dick was kidnapped and killed on 7 separate occasions.

We had to keep tracking down look-alive.By the Time he had the stroke.We were on our 10th Dick.

That woman's never going to stop treating you like a child unless you stand up for yourself.Be a man,I raised you better than that.

Woody put on his lookout duty in the fire tower 20 years ago, and forgot to relieve him.

So he spent 2 decades by himself in a small tower?

He's lucking he didn't go nuts.

-So you really think the bartender just gave you a free drink because he's sweetheart?

-Yeah!why else?

-Because your pants are so tight I can read the mileage on your vagina.

-That is so sexist .I don't get preferential treat because of my looks.He gives out drinks because he's a nice guy.

Woody ,after 2 years hard work,My sanctuary for orphan baby animals is almost complete, will you throw me a big grand opening party?

shoot a recruitment video

Hey Steve I doing my match.com profile and I need a polite way to say "no Amenians".

Now do you think they'll take hint if I say I don't like uni-brows or should I also throw in"no white BMWs"

You are jeopardizing an endangered species for your stupid birthday party

(put sth. sb into a situation in which danger of loss,harm or failure)

Hey all the great leaders throw themselves extravagant parties .Hussien ,Gaddafi ,Kim Jongil .We all took a page from Hitler's playbook."Self-aggradizement" is how we reinforce our dominance.

Backup plan

We are marooned (陷入孤立无援的) on a uncharted desert island.

Aw,you don't have to say that shit to woody anymore,His tyrant days are over.

(a person who has complete power in a country and uses it in a cruel and unfair way)

I'm not saying it because I have to,I'm saying it because I want to.Yes he's a cruel ,inconsiderate  racist ass wipe.But deep down I consider him to be "almost not a complete lowlife piece of shit"