在你说话之前,让你的话语通过三道门!
~ 苏菲谚语
Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates.
At the first gate, ask yourself ‘Is it true?’
At the second gate ask, ‘Is it necessary?’
At the third gate ask, ‘Is it kind?’
在你说话之前,让你的话语通过三道门:
第一道门,问你自己「是真的吗?」
第二道门问说:「是必要的吗?」
第三道门问说:「是友善的吗?」
只在心存善意时说话
摘录自《生活的艺术》
~艾匹克提塔斯(Epictetus 55~135)
So much attention is given to the moral importance of our deeds and their effects. Those who seek to live higher life also come to understand the oft-ignored moral power of our words.
在心理上,我们都非常重视我们的行为及其影响。那些寻求高等生活的人也会了解常被忽视的语言心理力量。
One of the clearest marks of the moral life is right speech. Perfect our speech is one of the keystones of an authentic spiritual program.
正确的言词是心理生活最清楚的标记之一。改善我们说话的能力是一项实实在在的基本心灵课程。
First and foremost, think before you speak to make sure you are speaking with good purpose. Glib talk disrespects others. Breezy self-disclosure disrespects yourself. So many people feel compelled to give voice to any passing feeling, thought, or impression they have. They randomly dump the contents of their minds without regard to the consequences. This is practically and morally dangerous. If we babble about every idea that occur to us-big and small-we can easily fritter away in the trivial currents of mindless talk ideas that have true merit. Unchecked speech is like a vehicle wildly lurching out of control and destined for a ditch.
首先,说话之前先想一想你是否心存善意。伶牙俐齿的说话并不是尊重别人的表现,轻易自我暴露则是不尊重自己。有太多的人不由自主说出任何一个心头浮现的感觉、想法或印象,他们不顾后果地任意倾倒脑子里面的东西。这在现实上以及心理上都同样危险。如果我们随口说出每一个偶发的大大小小的念头,我们就会在不用大脑的琐碎谈话乱流中轻易就将有价值的点子一点一滴地浪费掉。未经检视过的言谈就像失控的车子横冲直撞,最后注定要掉进壕沟里。
If need be, be mostly silent or speak sparingly. Speech itself is neither good nor evil, but it is so commonly used carelessly that you need to be on your guard. Frivolous talk is hurtful talk; besides, it is unbecoming to be chatterbox.
如果需要,最好保持静默或言简意赅。谈话本身并无所谓善恶,但由于粗心大意的交谈实在太普遍,你不得不时时警惕自己。轻浮的谈话是有害的;而且,做一个喋喋不休的人实在很不体面。
Enter into discussion when social or professional occasion calls for it, but be cautious that the spirit and intent of the discussion and its content remain worthy. Prattle is seductive. Stay out of its clutches.
当社交或职业场合要求加入讨论时你才加入,不过要谨慎使讨论的灵性、意图以及内容都要保持有价值。闲聊打屁很诱人,别被它抓住。
It’s not necessary to restrict yourself to lofty subjects or philosophy all the time, but be aware that the common babbling that passes for worthwhile discussion has a corrosive effect on your higher purpose. When we blather about trivial things, we ourselves become trivial, for our attention gets taken up with trivialities. You become what you give your attention to.
并不需要限制自己时时刻刻都一定要谈崇高的或哲学的话题,但要留意被认为值得讨论的常见的胡扯会腐蚀掉你的更高意图。当我们胡乱谈论琐碎的事情时,我们自己就变得琐碎,因为我们的注意力甘于琐碎。你会变成你的注意力所关注的东西。
We become small-minded if we engage in discussion about other people. In particular, avoid blaming, praising, or comparing people.
如果我们热衷于谈论别人,我们就会变得心胸狭小。尤其要避免谴责、称赞或比较人们。
Try whenever possible, if you notice the conversation around you decaying into palaver, to see if you can subtly lead the conversation back to more constructive subjects. If, however, you find yourself among indifferent strangers, you can simply remain silent.
如果你发现在你周遭的谈话已经退化成闲聊的时候,尽你所能将谈话导回到更有建设性的话题上。然而,如果你发现你是在一群无关紧要的陌生人当中,你可以就只是保持沈默。
Be of good humor and enjoy a good laugh when it is apt, but avoid the kind of unrestrained barroom laughter that easily degenerates into vulgarity or malevolence. Laugh with, but never laugh at.
做个有幽默感的人,在适当的时候就尽情地笑,但要避免那种容易变质成为恶意的不受控制的酒馆式的狂笑。与人一起欢笑,但永不嘲笑别人。
If you can, avoid making idle promises whenever possible.
如果可以的话,尽可能避免做出空洞的承诺。