各位头马小伙伴儿们，大家晚上好！我是宋文佳，一个结婚近四年的两个孩子的妈妈，我想做过妈妈的各位一定能体会到这些年我经历了些什么，夫妻关系则是我比较熟悉的话题。
首先请大家跟我想象这样一个画面，一屋两人三餐四季，我想这就是婚姻中最理想的状态，但现实往往是：五天六吵七荤八素。其实只要夫妻二人共同努力，达到理想状态也未尝不可。经过这几年的磨合，我从中也悟出几点小妙招与大家分享：
1） 包容、忍让、爱护。
萨尔丹曾说过：爱是无限的宽容。我先生跟我讲过一个故事：
一对结婚不久的夫妻，丈夫请妻子帮忙缝扣子妻子不会，丈夫火冒三丈训斥到：你是怎么做女人的？竟然连扣子都不会缝！妻
子看到气头上的丈夫，默默的回了一句：“我不会可以学”。
又过了很多年，妻子生病卧床，请丈夫做碗面条，丈夫不会。妻子悠悠的回道：你是怎么做男人的，连顿面条都不会做。这时丈夫瞬间想起多年之前对妻子说过的话，顿时自惭形愧。
故事讲完先生问我有何见解，我说：“君子报仇，十年不晚”。他汗颜道：“女性思维就是和男人不一样，这就是我为何不跟你
吵架的原因。思维不同，吵不到一个频道上”。 其实我知道，故事也好，不跟我吵架也好，都是包容和忍让的表现。在适当的时候指出对方的错误，更容易让人接受。出于爱，忍一时风平浪静，退一步海阔天空。
2）相互尊重，彼此成就
列昂尼多娃有句名言，婚姻的基础是爱情，是依恋，是尊重。
孙先生性格稳重，不善言辞，我总嫌他不会甜言蜜语，尤其在一些节日、纪念日的时候缺乏仪式感。于此他跟我分享他的座右铭“己所不欲勿施于人，已所欲亦勿施于人”。不管你喜不喜欢，都不要把自己的想法强加在他人身上。
他是处女座，特别注重细节。比如吃饭时用过的纸巾要马上丢进垃圾桶，而不能摆在桌子上；比如沙发靠背必须拉链朝下摆放；再比如地板上永远捡不完的头发等…而他总是默默把它们变成自己喜欢的样子，而不是对我提出要求。就像摩路瓦说过的“在幸福的婚姻中，每个人应尊重对方的趣味与爱好。以为两个人可有同样的思想，同样的判断，同样的欲愿，最最荒唐的念头。”于是我开始改变策略，尊重他的喜好并加以肯定，事实证明这种做法很受用，他也开始在意我的喜好，偶尔给我制造些小惊喜：在特殊日子里会准备小礼物或是定束鲜花…我们的感情也从最初的矛盾不断渐渐磨合到越来越好。
好了，以上就是我对夫妻相处所做的个人总结，希望能对大家有所帮助。近年来离婚率居高不下，相守白头仿佛变成一种奢侈，让人不得不相信婚姻的确是需要用心来经营的。我相信，对你的爱人做到包容、尊重和体谅，你们的婚姻生活一定会春暖花开，四季常春！
最后，祝愿大家家和万事兴！我的演讲到此结束，感谢各位聆听。
Small talk-Ways to get along between couples
Hello everyone! I am Song Wenjia, a mother of two children. I have been married for nearly four years. As a mother, I think all of you surely feel what I’ve experienced in these years, so the couple relationship is a familiar topic for me.
First of all, please imagine such a picture with me. One house, two people, breakfast, lunch and dinner during four seasons, I think this is the most ideal state of marriage, but the ideal is always far from the reality: quarrel every day. In fact, it is not difficult to achieve the ideal state as long as the couples work well. After several - year of life together, I have summarized a few clever moves to share with you here:
1) Tolerance and Love
Saldan once said that Love is infinite tolerance. My husband ever told me a story:
A couple who just got married, the husband asked his wife to help to sew the button, the wife didn’t know how to do, then the husband was angry and scolded “ how can you be a woman? You even can't sew a button! ” The wife saw her angry husband and silently answered, “But I can learn.”
After many years, the wife was sick and stayed in bed, she asked her husband to make noodles, but the husband didn’t know how to do. The wife leisurely replies,” How can you be a man, you even can't make noodles.” At this moment, the husband suddenly reminded what he had said to his wife many years ago, and now he felt so ashamed.
My husband asked me what my opinion was when he finished the story. I said: “It is not too late to revenge a gentleman for ten years." He was speechless: "Women’s thought is totally different from men’s, that's why I don’t quarrel with you. Different thoughts can't quarrel on the same channel. “Actually I see, either the stories or peace with me, all is the expressions of tolerance. It is more acceptable to point out other's mistakes at the right time. Out of love, if you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.
2) Respect and Achievement
A famous saying by Leonidova goes, the foundation of a marriage is love, attachment and respect.
Mr. Sun is a steady and ineloquent. I always complain that he can't say sound words, especially on some festivals or anniversaries. As for this, he shared his motto with me "Do not do what you don't want to do to others, also do not do what you want to do to others". Whatever you like it or not, don't impose your ideas on others.
As a Virgo, he pays much attention to the details. For example, the napkins should be thrown into the trash immediately instead of on the table; the sofa pillow must be zipped up to down, the hair that can never be finished picking up on the floor etc. He always silently becomes the one he liked, rather than request what I should do. As Moriva said, "In a happy marriage, everyone should respect each other's interests and hobbies. If you think two people have the same thought, the same judgment, and the same desire, that's the most ridiculous idea.”So I began to change my strategy, respect his preferences and affirm them. It proved to be very useful. He also began to care about my preferences and occasionally made some surprises for me: preparing small gifts or sending a bunch of flowers on special days. Our feelings are also gradually blending in from the initial contradictions to become better and better.
All right, that's my personal method summary to get along between couples. I hope it will be helpful to you all. In recent years, the divorce rate remains high, spend a lifetime seems to become a luxury, but we have to believe that marriage really needs to be carefully managed. I believe that if you are tolerant, respectful and considerate for your lover, your marriage will surely blossom in spring and spring all the year round！
Finally, I wish you a happy family and everything goes well. That's all. Thank you for your listening.
