早已过了某个年龄阶段了,所以我并不奢望从《高效能人士的七个习惯》中发现成为高效能人士的快捷方式。在我看来,一个普通人能坚持一两个好习惯就足以受用终身了。书只看到一半,略述些许所思。
书中第二部分习惯一〔积极主动(二)〕中有讲到“关注圈”和“影响圈”的概念。关注圈就是我们每个人在关注的事物,比如世界局势,健康,事业,家庭等,其中我们可以掌控的内容就是影响圈。关注圈和影响圈应该是包含和被包含的关系。本书倡导我们用心扩大影响圈,不要太关注影响圈外的问题。
1.
消极被动的人全神贯注在“关注圈”,时刻不忘环境的种种限制、他人的缺缺失失,徒为无法改变的状况担忧。结果怨天尤人,畏畏缩缩,受迫害的感觉日益强烈。
反省己身,发现自己的生活太“杂”了。去掉杂音,会发现“世界”能清静很多。曾经有一阶段,为了备考雅思,我关闭了微信朋友圈的功能,因为“它”太费时费精力了。你看她“海边度假”,看她晒自拍美照,电影美食,伤春悲秋,或者又看他秀恩爱晒幸福,事业有成,鸡汤励志,然后羡慕、感慨、怨叹、自哀。突然明白朋友圈就是我们的关注圈,有些情绪太没必要被扯动。
我们往往太过关注和在意别人的生活而过不好自己的生活。每一个“自己的生活”都值得一心一意的投入,只跟自己较量,怀着雕塑师那般的“匠心”专注打磨自己的生活,也许才能活得纯粹精致和更有力量。
2.
着重于“影响圈”的人,脚踏实地,不好高骛远,把心力投注于自己能有所作为的事情,所获成就将使影响圈逐步扩大。
也曾幻想成为指点江山的“大人物”,如今却体会到现实很现实,我们可以有理想,对生活却不能太理想主义。此处不如意,那处又磕碰,于是一味抱怨环境,推诿责任,人之劣性有此。摔了些跟头终于明白事情的顺序应该从自身开始。
我可以更耐心,更明智,更体贴……
最后以英国威斯敏斯特教堂墓志铭自勉:
When I was young and free and my imagination had no limits, I dreamed of changing the world. As I grew older and wiser, I discovered the world would not change, so I shortened my sights somewhat and decided to change only my country. But it, too, seemed immovable.As I grew into my twilight years, in one last desperate attempt, I settled for changing only my family, those closest to me, but alas, they would have none of it.
And now, as I lie on my deathbed, I suddenly realize: If I had only changed myself first, then by example I would have changed my family.From their inspiration an d encouragement, I would then have been able to better my country, and who knows, I may have even changed the world.
2017.04.23