Stan 讲故事
Hello! Travller.I see your car broke down on this lonesome country roads, place so remote that no one can hear your screams....Pretend I didn't say that.Come in,If you enter you may be subjected to my tales.Tales designed to sell my merchandise .
Sorry,I was thinking of something funny I heard earlier.
You've come to the mystery Shack after-hours 闭馆后，a time only when our creepiest and most cursed objects are for sale, like that thing there.No? not a fan, too many orifices.
All right.I can tell you what you're looking for is this disembodied hand.Why is it so expensive?Well,that's quite a tale.And it's called Hands off ! No seriously Hands off not for sale.
"hands off" story
swap meet 跳蚤市场
Bobbly-heads 腰头娃娃 They agreed all things I say.
Look at these faux-gold beauties,They're mob-boss quality.黑帮老大的范
All right kids, prepare to watch the delicate art of the deal.
.......Wow someone needs to work on their social skills....and their observation skills.
I can't survive in this market.
Is this curse ugly or normal ugly? Looks like I got off scot-free.
The old crone should apologize to me for denying my right to buy cheap junk. I don't need hand.I'v got self-respect.See ,hands are overrated.I'm ready to take on the day.
according to the swap meet pamphlet.the hand witch live in a horrible hand witch lair on Hand witch mountain.
No wait! don't go, you're right.I was just making all that stuff up, just trying to get something going, you know.so hard to meet people these day.
so this was just a ploy to get a date?
I'm desperate, ok?But everytime I bring someone back here without keeping their hands hostage.They just ran away.
Hey! I just lost in these mountains.Could I crash here for the night?
That's fake advertising I can get behind.这种假广告我还是能识破的。
Mabel,could you just knock it off? I'm trying to solve this intelligence puzzle, but it seems impossible.
Mabel you are just in time to behold our greatest achievement.The smart accelerator! Solving that puzzle was just the tip of the iceberg.With this, waddle will be able to solve all the greatest puzzle of universe.
I'm sorry Dipper,In my last 8 seconds of consciousness,I want you to know that science is a horizon to search for, not a prize to hold in your hand.Also,I miss getting my tummy tickled.
定格漫画与恐惧
But perhaps I could interest you in something else like these, spooky movies! Movies are great! You watch the movie, you scare the girl, the girl snuggles up next to you .Next you know, you got raise a child, your life falls apart.Forget the last part.
Well,that's just put 90 minute closer to death.It's time your kids learn to watch the classics from my day.
-ooh,old people movies.Get ready for references we don't understand and words we can't repeat.
Look!Your sister is broken!Oh Grunkle Stan,I should have told you before that Mabel has childhood terror of old-timey stop-motion animation. It's like her no.1 fear since we were kids.
-Come on, those hokey old things, how scared could she be?
-The cyclops, his face is made of nightmares!
-Why did you have to show her that tape?
-There's got be a way to get her over this.
-All right, if we can just get the director to show her the models are fake, maybe she'll finally calm down.
-I don't know dude.According to the Internet special effects Harryclaymore is kind of recluse.
Man wants his privacy,I can respect that.
You see Mabel,those Monsters are just tiny clay fingers moved around one frame at a time by an antisocial shut-in.Those people are called animators.
MY effects are more special than you know.Do you really believe someone moves these fingers one frame at a time? I'm not a masochist 受虐狂 I used black magic to make them animate themselves.
"computer animation invented, stop motion declared dead."
Now they are out of work, they went mad and enslaved me!
-Mabel,you did it,So you are not scared anymore. -Oh I'm scared twice as much now, but I know it's rational.
.
What if he wants to get back together?
I wouldn't get your hopes up,Mabel.
Too late,Hopes are way way up.
If it's any consolation, my summer mission isn't any huge success, either.
I can't get that terrible song out of my head
It's the catchiest song in the summer.
.
For the past year,I have been work as an assistant for a visiting researcher.He has been cataloguing his findings about Gravity Falls in a series of journals.I helped him build a machine which he believed had the potential to benefit all mankind, but something went wrong.I decided to quit the project.But I lie awake at night, haunted by the thoughts of I've down.I believe I have invented a machine that can permanently erase these memories from my head.
-You known likes bad memories, but maybe it's better to remember the bad things and learn from them to go all denial crazy trying to forget.
.
Well,birthday are supposed to be spent with the people who care about you.But you know what the dude didn't care me enough to visit me once, let alone fight monsters through time space like you dudes.I mean you had a gladiator fight to make me happy.I've been being ridiculous this whole time. Whoever my dad wash could take a hike靠边站.I know who my family is now, and it's you dudes.Thanks for giving me the best birthday ever.
.
You have been had, boy.你中招了
You remind me of me 150 years ago. 150 years ago this day, the Northweast asked us lumber folk to build a mansion atop the hill.We were told it would be a service to the town that once a year they would throw a grand party, and all would share in the bounty.It took years of back-breaking劳累至极 labor and sacrifice, but when it was time for grand party, they refused to let us in.With the trees gone, the mudslides began. while they partied and laughed,I was swept away by the storm.
And so I said with final breath,150years I'll return from death,And if the gates still closed to town, wealthy blood will stain the ground.A curse passed down until this day.
-So wait a minute.The Northwest knew this haunting was coming, and they tricked me into helping them to avoid ghost justice?
You lied to metal you did.All you had to do was let the towns folk into the party, and you could have broken the curse but you made me do your dirty work instead.
Look at who you're talking to boy.I'm hosting the most powerful people in the world,You think they'd come if they had to rub elbows with your kind?
I was right about you all along.You are as bad as your parents.Another link in the world's worst chain.
panic room 避难所
Wanna know why this room was locked up?This is what I found in here.A painted record every horrible thing that my family's ever down.Lying,Cheating and than.There's me.I lied just because I'm too scared to talk back to my stupid parents.You were right about me.I'm just another link in world's worst chain.
I'm sorry what I said earlier, but just because you're their daughter doesn't mean you have to be like them.
I guess we shouldn't sold her short.看扁她
Give me whatever you got that comes with a free toy.
Mysterious,boarded-up cave,It might be filled with lost. prehistoric life forms or Mesomerican gold.
Dude ,it's the ultimate Oregon road trip adventure, more like revenge trip.
Every year, my tourist trap competitors prank the mystery shack.Last year,those hooligan duct taped soon to the ceiling, well,no more.This year we'll visiting every tourist trap along the redwood high way.And I'm gonna prank back every single one.
Time to let the road dawgs bark. 公路姐妹团
DAWG directed acyclic word graph. 工作小组，俚语（关系很好的朋友）
It's time for truth or dare or don't!
Everything up until now has been a walk in a park compared to our next attraction.Mystry mountain, five times the size of the mystery shack, and what's worse, she has real attractions.Even their made-up legends are better than ours.Today the mountains falls.
You win this round, but mark my words.As long as there's men like out there with their dumb one-liners 俏皮话 pick up moves.I'll never run out of prey.
