昨天，偶遇一棵很美的树，宁静而美好。当阳光轻晃树影，我正读到“ 请保持内心的沉静。心静，则可光达”。 我猜想这是一种对我的启示。虽然当时我并不很懂这个启示是什么。到了晚上，正做着饭的我突然灵光一现，原来这棵树想要告诉我的是： “专注”。
近日来，我一直被一些思绪所困扰。时常感觉到一直看书，理性思考的状态，很容易让我陷入劳累中。我清晰感觉到我需要一些感性的情绪，来滋养自己的生命。但当我刷着歌曲，掠过电视剧，浏览各种心灵鸡汤，我感受到的是自己渐渐陷入情绪的沼泽。有人抚摸我的伤口，但却无法治疗我的伤口，于是我的伤口在反复抚摸中发炎化脓。我知道我的状态出了问题，但我不知道该如何去解决这个问题。
“专注” 是那个解决之道吗？
我决定尝试专注在每个当下的生活。专注意味着在同一时间里做减法。过去，我一边吃饭一边刷手机。现在我只静静地吃饭。我体会到了不同菜品完全不同的味道，有些菜完全无法入口，有些菜却因为酱料搭配合适，非常美味。我体会到我过去很喜欢的辣味，我不断持续地吃一道很辣的菜，每一口竟是为了压制前面一口所带来的浓重的刺激感，这才是我无法自控地一口接一口的原因。过去，我喜欢听流行音乐，因为那些歌词很轻易地就能将我带入伤感的气氛中，自怨自艾，伤心难过，无法自拔。现在，我看着天上云层中忽明忽暗的月亮，淡淡的古典音乐飘入耳际，我竟感到一种无以伦比的享受。那是一个超越个人儿女情长的更大世界。那个世界足够广大，包容了渺小的我。过去，我感觉到劳累，麻木，不舒服时，为了迅速摆脱这种难受的感觉，我会通过转移注意力的办法来逃离这样的感觉，结果越来越难受。现在，我愿意静静地陪着自己，呆在这样的情绪里，不否认也不逃离。我就这样体会着这样的情绪在我身体里各种反应，不控制它，不驱散它。也许它会愿意告诉我关于我隐藏的秘密，也许它什么也不会说，只是需要我和自己一起。但我清楚，它自己会来，自己也会离开，我无需控制。
然后，我就偶遇了一门课，洞察系统的秘密。因为心灵得到了充分的休息和滋养，我完全投入到这门课的学习中。我不只是在阅读文字，更在结合工作中、生活中的实例进行思考，验证，质疑。是的，我在真正的学习和提升。
因为明白了专注，所以我不再对周围环境有过多的要求。因为我的心开始足够沉静，我可以在任何环境，任何时间，全情投入到我想要做的事情中。
我知道，这只是一个小小的开始，开始这种完全不同的生活方式。但一旦开始，我将进入另一个世界！
Yesterday , I ran into a very beautiful and quiet tree . Whenthe sunlight sightly pass though the treetops, I read :” please keep the heartcalm . If your heart is calm , the lightwill reach.” I guess this is a kind of revelation to me . Although I didn’t quite understand very whatthe revelation was at the time. At night, when I was cooking , I suddenly had an inspiration. It turned out that what the tree wants totell is “focus “.
Recent days , I have been troubled by some thoughts. I oftenfelt the state of keeping reading and thinking rationally make me tired easily.I clearly feel I need some emotions to nourish my life. But when I listened to some pop music , watched TV shows and browsed all kinds ofspiritual chicken soup , what I felt isthat I gradually fell into a swamp of emotions . It seems like someone touchesmy wound but he can’t treat my wound . So my wound became inflamed and purulent during the repeated touches. Iknow there is something wrong with my state. But I don’t know how to solve theproblem .
Is “focus ” thesolution ?
I decided to try to focus on every current life.Concentration means doing subtraction at the same time. In the past, I staredat my mobile phone while eating. Now I only eat quietly. I have experienced thecompletely different tastes of different dishes. Some dishes are completelyinaccessible, but some dishes are very delicious because of the proper sauce. Icontinue to eat a very spicy dish. Each bite is actually to suppress the strongstimulation brought by the previous bite. This is why I cannot control one biteafter another. In the past, I liked tolisten to pop music, because those lyrics could easily bring me into a sadatmosphere, self-pity, sadness, unableto extricate myself. Now, when I look at the moon in the clouds in the sky, andthe faint classical music floating in my ears, I actually feel an incomparableenjoyment. That is a larger world that transcends the love of individualemotion. That world is large enough to contain the small me. In the past, whenI felt tired, numb, or uncomfortable, in order to quickly get rid of thisuncomfortable feeling, I would divert my attention to escape from this feeling.And the result is that I became more and more uncomfortable. Now, I am willingto accompany myself quietly, staying in this emotion, neither denying norfleeing. In this way, I experienced the various reactions of this kind ofemotion in my body, without controlling it or dispelling it. Maybe it will bewilling to tell me about my hidden secrets, maybe it won't say anything, itjust needs me to be with myself. But I know that it will come and leave byitself, and I don't need to control it.
Then, I came across a course to gain insight into the secretsof the system. Because my soul was fully rested and nourished, I was completelyinvolved in the study of this course. I'm not just reading text, but alsothinking, verifying, and questioning based on examples from work and life. Yes,I am really learning and improving.
Because I understand concentration, I no longer have too manydemands on the surrounding environment. Because my heart started to be quietenough, I can devote myself to what I want to do in any environment, at anytime.
I know that this is just a small beginning, starting thiscompletely different lifestyle. But once it starts, I will enter another world!
