我们来理解一下婚姻问题。婚姻意味着性关系、相爱、相伴、心心交融。显然，如果没有爱，婚姻就成了羞耻，成了纯粹的满足感。爱，是最难的事，不是吗？只有自我消泯，爱才能产生，才能存在。如果没有爱，关系就成了痛苦；不论多么令人愉悦，或仅是泛泛之交，关系终将走向厌倦乏味、例行公事、循规蹈矩。此时性问题就变得头等重要了。

在思考婚姻时，先不论婚姻是否人之必需，我们首先应当明白何谓爱。无疑，爱是纯洁无瑕的；若心里没有爱，你不可能纯洁。或许你修持禁欲，不论你是男是女，但如果心中没有爱，则禁欲修持中没有纯洁。如果你以贞洁为理想，梦想变得纯洁无瑕，但这理想中也没有爱，因为那只是一种欲望，你自以为能让你高贵，能帮助你发现实相，但其实根本没有爱。放纵会导致堕落与痛苦，绝非纯洁，而追逐理想也不是纯洁；这两种状态都驱散了爱，都意味着追逐与沉溺，所以你的“自我”变得更重要了。凡“自我”强化的场合，爱就消失了。

——克里希那穆提《生命书：365观心日课》（The Book of Life: Daily Meditations with Krishnamurti）

In Considering Marriage

We are trying to understand the problem of marriage, in which is implied sexual relationship, love, companionship, communion. Obviously if there is no love, marriage becomes a disgrace, does it not? Then it becomes mere gratification. To love is one of the most difficult things, is it not? Love can come into being, can exist only when the self is absent. Without love, relationship is a pain; however gratifying, or however superficial, it leads to boredom, to routine, to habit with all its implications. Then, sexual problems become all important.

In considering marriage, whether it is necessary or not, one must first comprehend love. Surely, love is chaste, without love you cannot be chaste; you may be a celibate, whether a man or a woman, but that is not being chaste, that is not being pure, if there is no love. If you have an ideal of chastity, that is if you want to become chaste, there is no love in it either because it is merely the desire to become something which you think is noble, which you think will help you to find reality; there is no love there at all. Licentiousness is not chaste, it leads only to degradation, to misery. So does the pursuit of an ideal. Both exclude love, both imply becoming something, indulging in something; and therefore you become important, and where you are important, love is not.

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