我们都是复杂的人。爱情也是复杂的。有时候我们都需要简单一点，珍惜这一刻，用心去感受。
Hugh's Views and News
Not only do I say those three important words ‘I Love You’ but I also show love in many other ways like looking after, holding hands, buying gifts, even ironing his shirts. For me, I knew it was love and that feeling doesn’t happen very often. It develops into another kind of love which is just as important as those first feelings of love when passion also plays a major part. I believe love comes in different forms, Mabel, and that each is very important to say and show. Without love, our souls would be hollow, and so would we as people.
我不仅会说“我爱你”这三个重要的字，我还会用很多其他方式来表达爱，比如照顾他、牵他的手、给他买礼物、帮他熨衬衫。对我来说，我知道这就是爱，这种感觉并不经常发生。它发展成另一种爱情，这种爱情和初恋一样重要，激情也在其中起了重要作用。我相信爱有不同的形式，梅布尔，每一种表达方式很都重要。如果没有爱，我们的灵魂将是空虚的，我们作为人也将是空虚的。
Not only do I say those three important words ‘I Love You’ but I also show love in many other ways like looking after, holding hands, buying gifts, even ironing his shirts. For me, I knew it was love and that feeling doesn’t happen very often. It develops into another kind of love which is just as important as those first feelings of love when passion also plays a major part. I believe love comes in different forms, Mabel, and that each is very important to say and show. Without love, our souls would be hollow, and so would we as people.
我不仅会说“我爱你”这三个重要的字，我还会用很多其他方式来表达爱，比如照顾他、牵他的手、给他买礼物、帮他熨衬衫。对我来说，我知道这就是爱，这种感觉并不经常发生。它发展成另一种爱情，这种爱情和初恋一样重要，激情也在其中起了重要作用。我相信爱有不同的形式，梅布尔，每一种表达方式很都重要。如果没有爱，我们的灵魂将是空虚的，我们作为人也将是空虚的。
Mabel Kwong
You explained love very well, Hugh. I hope your man appreciates you ironing his shirt. To me, ironing is such a chore and it takes me ages It is nice that you remember those first feelings. Hope he does some sweet things for you too
你把爱解释得很好。我希望你的男人会感激你为他熨衬衫。对我来说，熨衣服是件苦差事，还要花很多时间。你能记住那些最初的感觉真是太好了。希望他也能为你做些甜蜜的事
You explained love very well, Hugh. I hope your man appreciates you ironing his shirt. To me, ironing is such a chore and it takes me ages It is nice that you remember those first feelings. Hope he does some sweet things for you too
你把爱解释得很好。我希望你的男人会感激你为他熨衬衫。对我来说，熨衣服是件苦差事，还要花很多时间。你能记住那些最初的感觉真是太好了。希望他也能为你做些甜蜜的事
Hugh's Views and News
He does, Mabel, and I appreciate him doing all the gardening. We show our love in different ways.
是的，梅布尔，我也很感激他做的所有园艺工作。我们用不同的方式表达爱意。
He does, Mabel, and I appreciate him doing all the gardening. We show our love in different ways.
是的，梅布尔，我也很感激他做的所有园艺工作。我们用不同的方式表达爱意。
Mabel Kwong
Ah, I hope he makes the garden nice and tidy
啊，我希望他能把花园弄得又漂亮又整洁。
Ah, I hope he makes the garden nice and tidy
啊，我希望他能把花园弄得又漂亮又整洁。
Parul Thakur
You are absolutely right that Asians are too shy to share those three words openly. It’s weird cos sometimes I think, what’s wrong. It’s not that they are open in private too. My Papa never said to Mum, I guess And my husband has never . The fact that they believe in showing via actions is the key to this in my opinion.
你说的完全正确，亚洲人太害羞了，不敢公开说出这三个字。这很奇怪，有时候我会想，说我爱你怎么了？这并不是说他们私底下也总是这么说。我爸爸从来没有对妈妈说过我爱你，我猜我丈夫也从来没有这样做过。在我看来，他们相信通过行动来表达才是关键所在。
You are absolutely right that Asians are too shy to share those three words openly. It’s weird cos sometimes I think, what’s wrong. It’s not that they are open in private too. My Papa never said to Mum, I guess And my husband has never . The fact that they believe in showing via actions is the key to this in my opinion.
你说的完全正确，亚洲人太害羞了，不敢公开说出这三个字。这很奇怪，有时候我会想，说我爱你怎么了？这并不是说他们私底下也总是这么说。我爸爸从来没有对妈妈说过我爱你，我猜我丈夫也从来没有这样做过。在我看来，他们相信通过行动来表达才是关键所在。
Mabel Kwong
Actions always speak louder than words. Love is the strongest when you feel for each other and you don’t have to say anything to each other. Sounds like that’s the way between your parents, and you and your husband
行动胜于雄辩。当你们彼此感同身受时，这时的爱才是最强烈，你们不必对彼此说任何话。这就是你父母，你和你丈夫之间的方式。
Actions always speak louder than words. Love is the strongest when you feel for each other and you don’t have to say anything to each other. Sounds like that’s the way between your parents, and you and your husband
行动胜于雄辩。当你们彼此感同身受时，这时的爱才是最强烈，你们不必对彼此说任何话。这就是你父母，你和你丈夫之间的方式。
nvh
you are asian, maybe you are understand, the words i love you is the treasure, we keep in mind and only say that with the right person who we really respect or really love.
你是亚洲人，也许你明白，“我爱你”这句话是我们的财富，我们牢记在心，只会对我们真正尊重或者真正爱的人说这句话。
you are asian, maybe you are understand, the words i love you is the treasure, we keep in mind and only say that with the right person who we really respect or really love.
你是亚洲人，也许你明白，“我爱你”这句话是我们的财富，我们牢记在心，只会对我们真正尊重或者真正爱的人说这句话。
Mabel Kwong
So agree with you. Love and ‘I love you’ are very important words, and some of us say it only when we mean it.
我同意你的观点。爱和‘我爱你’是非常重要的词语，我们中的一些人只有在真心实意的时候才会说出来。
So agree with you. Love and ‘I love you’ are very important words, and some of us say it only when we mean it.
我同意你的观点。爱和‘我爱你’是非常重要的词语，我们中的一些人只有在真心实意的时候才会说出来。
Mabel Kwong
Also so agree with you that love is a word that so many of us flirt with these days. In other words, love has many layers and it is often the unspoken layers of love that keeps such a great feeling going.
我也非常同意你的观点，现在很多人都在用爱这个词来调情。换句话说，爱情有很多层面，通常是那些不言而喻的层面才会让这种美好的感觉持续下去。
Also so agree with you that love is a word that so many of us flirt with these days. In other words, love has many layers and it is often the unspoken layers of love that keeps such a great feeling going.
我也非常同意你的观点，现在很多人都在用爱这个词来调情。换句话说，爱情有很多层面，通常是那些不言而喻的层面才会让这种美好的感觉持续下去。
Mabel Kwong
There is a certain danger about love, and I think you are right in saying that loving someone deeply comes with responsibility.
爱有一定的风险，我认为你这样说是对的，深爱一个人会伴随着责任。
There is a certain danger about love, and I think you are right in saying that loving someone deeply comes with responsibility.
爱有一定的风险，我认为你这样说是对的，深爱一个人会伴随着责任。
autumnashbough
When you talk as much as I do, nothing says “I love you” as much as listening.When you are as laconic as my Chinese-American husband, nothing says “I love you,” like simply saying, “I love you.”
当你像我一样话唠时，没有什么比倾听更能表达“我爱你”了。当你像我的华裔美国丈夫一样沉默寡言时，没有什么比简单地说“我爱你”更能表达“我爱你”了
When you talk as much as I do, nothing says “I love you” as much as listening.When you are as laconic as my Chinese-American husband, nothing says “I love you,” like simply saying, “I love you.”
当你像我一样话唠时，没有什么比倾听更能表达“我爱你”了。当你像我的华裔美国丈夫一样沉默寡言时，没有什么比简单地说“我爱你”更能表达“我爱你”了
Peace.Love.Veggies
I appreciate the Asian cultural way of showing love rather than telling it. Actions do speak louder than words. I think it is nice. It is more the American/Western society that has romanticised love and made it very Hollywood. This can lead to unrealistic expectations in day to day life when we realise life is not a movie and people are very real and human.
我很欣赏亚洲文化中表达爱的方式，而不是把爱说出来。行动胜于雄辩。我觉得这样很好。美国/西方社会将爱情浪漫化，使之变得非常好莱坞化。当我们意识到生活不是一部电影，人是非常真实和人性化时，这会导致我们对日常生活产生不切实际的期望。
I appreciate the Asian cultural way of showing love rather than telling it. Actions do speak louder than words. I think it is nice. It is more the American/Western society that has romanticised love and made it very Hollywood. This can lead to unrealistic expectations in day to day life when we realise life is not a movie and people are very real and human.
我很欣赏亚洲文化中表达爱的方式，而不是把爱说出来。行动胜于雄辩。我觉得这样很好。美国/西方社会将爱情浪漫化，使之变得非常好莱坞化。当我们意识到生活不是一部电影，人是非常真实和人性化时，这会导致我们对日常生活产生不切实际的期望。
Mabel Kwong
Unrealistic expectations will only lead to disappointment. It is when we respect each other and try our best to make each other tick that a relationship will work.
不切实际的期望只会导致失望。只有当我们彼此尊重，并尽最大努力让对方活跃起来，这段感情才会维持下去。
Unrealistic expectations will only lead to disappointment. It is when we respect each other and try our best to make each other tick that a relationship will work.
不切实际的期望只会导致失望。只有当我们彼此尊重，并尽最大努力让对方活跃起来，这段感情才会维持下去。
Mabel Kwong
It doesn’t matter how many relationships any of us have been in. It’s about how we feel towards each other that matters, and at the end of the day, love comes in many different forms.
不管我们有过多少次恋爱。重要的是我们对彼此的感觉，在一天结束的时候，爱会以不同的形式出现。
It doesn’t matter how many relationships any of us have been in. It’s about how we feel towards each other that matters, and at the end of the day, love comes in many different forms.
不管我们有过多少次恋爱。重要的是我们对彼此的感觉，在一天结束的时候，爱会以不同的形式出现。
Love is completely unconditional: Love has no conditions. When we truly love someone, we cannot stop loving them, regardless of what they do or say. If our love is dependent upon the other person acting and speaking the way we want, then this love is completely conditional. We often confuse this to be love, but this is just positive thoughts about someone. This is just loving what a person says or does, not loving them.
爱是完全无条件的。当我们真正爱一个人的时候，我们不能停止爱他们，不管他们做什么或说什么。如果我们的爱是依赖于对方的行为和说话的方式，这种爱是完全有条件的。我们经常把这个混淆为爱，但这只是对某人的积极想法。这只是爱一个人的言行，而不是爱他们本身。
爱是完全无条件的。当我们真正爱一个人的时候，我们不能停止爱他们，不管他们做什么或说什么。如果我们的爱是依赖于对方的行为和说话的方式，这种爱是完全有条件的。我们经常把这个混淆为爱，但这只是对某人的积极想法。这只是爱一个人的言行，而不是爱他们本身。
Love is selfless: True love does not want anything in return, because there is nothing it needs. We just love for the sake of love. When we love someone, we do not look for them to fill our needs, love us back, and all those things. If that is what we are looking for, then we are just using the other person. What is true love? It is profound affection for things or beings that is completely selfless.
爱是无私的，真爱不需要任何回报，它不需要任何东西。我们只是为了爱而爱。当我们爱一个人的时候，我们不会期待他们来满足我们的需求，来回报我们的爱。如果这就是我们想要的，我们就是在利用对方。什么是真爱？它是对事物或生命的深刻感情，是完全无私的。
爱是无私的，真爱不需要任何回报，它不需要任何东西。我们只是为了爱而爱。当我们爱一个人的时候，我们不会期待他们来满足我们的需求，来回报我们的爱。如果这就是我们想要的，我们就是在利用对方。什么是真爱？它是对事物或生命的深刻感情，是完全无私的。
Mabel Kwong
Such a philosophical commentj. Very deep and meaningful thoughts on love there. Agree with you love comes from within. If we can’t love ourselves, we won’t be able to share love and love someone else.
真是个哲学的评论。这是非常深刻和有意义的观点。我同意你的观点，爱来自内心。如果我们不能爱自己，我们就不能分享爱和爱别人。
Such a philosophical commentj. Very deep and meaningful thoughts on love there. Agree with you love comes from within. If we can’t love ourselves, we won’t be able to share love and love someone else.
真是个哲学的评论。这是非常深刻和有意义的观点。我同意你的观点，爱来自内心。如果我们不能爱自己，我们就不能分享爱和爱别人。
Alok Singhal
I’ve hardly said those words to my wife (let alone before marriage) since our cultural upbringing didn’t stress on the usage. It is more of being forthcoming and flirting that we associate it with.
On the other hand, saying it doesn’t necessarily mean you want to make out. Asians are very emotional…it would be a serious matter to say these words for me.Those 3 words is more of a western concept, but young Asians are indeed accepting it now.
我很少对我的妻子说这些话(更不用说婚前)，我们的文化教育并不强调这个做法。我们更多地把它与坦率和调情联系在一起。 另一方面，说出来并不一定意味着你想亲热。亚洲人非常情绪化，我认为对我来说这些话是很严肃的事情。这三个词更多的是西方概念，但亚洲的年轻人现在确实接受了这个概念。
I’ve hardly said those words to my wife (let alone before marriage) since our cultural upbringing didn’t stress on the usage. It is more of being forthcoming and flirting that we associate it with.
On the other hand, saying it doesn’t necessarily mean you want to make out. Asians are very emotional…it would be a serious matter to say these words for me.Those 3 words is more of a western concept, but young Asians are indeed accepting it now.
我很少对我的妻子说这些话(更不用说婚前)，我们的文化教育并不强调这个做法。我们更多地把它与坦率和调情联系在一起。 另一方面，说出来并不一定意味着你想亲热。亚洲人非常情绪化，我认为对我来说这些话是很严肃的事情。这三个词更多的是西方概念，但亚洲的年轻人现在确实接受了这个概念。
Mabel Kwong
I think we are all emotional, just that some of us would rather express it in ways other than making out…ways that are goofy and so we make each other laugh and feel loved.
我认为我们都是情绪化的，只是我们中的一些人宁愿用别的方式来表达，而不是用一些愚蠢的方式，这样我们就能让彼此感受到爱。
I think we are all emotional, just that some of us would rather express it in ways other than making out…ways that are goofy and so we make each other laugh and feel loved.
我认为我们都是情绪化的，只是我们中的一些人宁愿用别的方式来表达，而不是用一些愚蠢的方式，这样我们就能让彼此感受到爱。
Mabel Kwong
Thanks, Peta. Interesting to hear of your encounter with the young chap there in Sri Lanka. He sounds like the kind who will work hard to make his girlfriend feel like the most special and most valued person in the world on many levels. I wish them the best.
谢谢你，佩塔。很高兴听到你在斯里兰卡遇到那个年轻人的故事。他听起来像是那种会努力工作，让他的女朋友在很多层面上感觉自己是世界上最特别、最有价值的人。我祝愿他们一切顺利。
Thanks, Peta. Interesting to hear of your encounter with the young chap there in Sri Lanka. He sounds like the kind who will work hard to make his girlfriend feel like the most special and most valued person in the world on many levels. I wish them the best.
谢谢你，佩塔。很高兴听到你在斯里兰卡遇到那个年轻人的故事。他听起来像是那种会努力工作，让他的女朋友在很多层面上感觉自己是世界上最特别、最有价值的人。我祝愿他们一切顺利。
Mary P
If receiving love from someone else had the power to make us feel good, then anyone’s love would give us the same good feeling. When we love someone, we do not look for them to fill our needs, love us back.
如果接受别人的爱能让我们感觉良好，那么任何人的爱都会给我们同样的感觉。当我们爱一个人的时候，我们不会期待他们来满足我们的需求，回报我们的爱。
If receiving love from someone else had the power to make us feel good, then anyone’s love would give us the same good feeling. When we love someone, we do not look for them to fill our needs, love us back.
如果接受别人的爱能让我们感觉良好，那么任何人的爱都会给我们同样的感觉。当我们爱一个人的时候，我们不会期待他们来满足我们的需求，回报我们的爱。
lexklein
I think expressing love differs not only by culture but by individual personality, no matter the cultural or family background. I do agree that some cultures are more open and expressive, but going by stereotypes alone, I should be half warm, gregarious, and openly expressive and half sober and austere on the feelings front. And yet, my parents, siblings, and I all have different approaches to our love lives and our ability to express love publicly and otherwise. You are right that it is a complex subject!
On another topic, I really enjoyed all those night scenes!
我认为表达爱的方式不仅因文化不同，也因个人性格而异，无论文化背景或家庭背景如何。我同意一些文化更加开放和张扬，按照老套的说法，我应该在感情方面半热情、半合群、半开放、半清醒、半严肃。然而，我的父母、兄弟姐妹和我对我们的爱情生活都有不同的态度，我们公开表达爱意的方式也不尽相同。你说得对，这是一个复杂的问题！
I think expressing love differs not only by culture but by individual personality, no matter the cultural or family background. I do agree that some cultures are more open and expressive, but going by stereotypes alone, I should be half warm, gregarious, and openly expressive and half sober and austere on the feelings front. And yet, my parents, siblings, and I all have different approaches to our love lives and our ability to express love publicly and otherwise. You are right that it is a complex subject!
On another topic, I really enjoyed all those night scenes!
我认为表达爱的方式不仅因文化不同，也因个人性格而异，无论文化背景或家庭背景如何。我同意一些文化更加开放和张扬，按照老套的说法，我应该在感情方面半热情、半合群、半开放、半清醒、半严肃。然而，我的父母、兄弟姐妹和我对我们的爱情生活都有不同的态度，我们公开表达爱意的方式也不尽相同。你说得对，这是一个复杂的问题！
Mabel Kwong
So true. We all have different approaches and feelings towards love, some of us more louder and some quieter than others. What works for someone doesn’t work for another.
说的太对了。我们对爱有不同的态度和感觉，有些人更激进，有些人更保守。对某人起作用的东西对另一个人不起作用。
So true. We all have different approaches and feelings towards love, some of us more louder and some quieter than others. What works for someone doesn’t work for another.
说的太对了。我们对爱有不同的态度和感觉，有些人更激进，有些人更保守。对某人起作用的东西对另一个人不起作用。
Maniparna Sengupta Majumder
Absolutely true, Mabel. Asian culture, especially that of the Indian subcontinent, China and Malaysia, does restrain us from saying “I Love you” loudly and repeatedly all the time. It’s a feeling we have deep inside our hearts, as you’ve said, it’s an emotional attachment rather than physical. I’ve no problem with people saying “I love you” loudly…that’s also a form of love, undoubtedly. But, simply, our culture believes in whispering it personally or even without uttering it, we can touch the chords of each other’s heart. Love is a complex feeling, an incurable insanity, and we like to tender it personally than saying it loud.
太对了，梅布尔。亚洲文化，尤其是印度、中国和马来西亚的文化，确实让我们无法一直大声重复地说“我爱你”。这是一种我们内心深处的感觉，就像你说的，这是一种情感上的依恋，而不是身体上的。我不反对人们大声说“我爱你”，毫无疑问，这也是爱的一种形式。但简单地说，我们的文化相信私下交谈，甚至不说出来，可以更触动彼此的心弦。爱情是一种复杂的情感，我们喜欢亲自去表达它，而不是大声说出来。
Absolutely true, Mabel. Asian culture, especially that of the Indian subcontinent, China and Malaysia, does restrain us from saying “I Love you” loudly and repeatedly all the time. It’s a feeling we have deep inside our hearts, as you’ve said, it’s an emotional attachment rather than physical. I’ve no problem with people saying “I love you” loudly…that’s also a form of love, undoubtedly. But, simply, our culture believes in whispering it personally or even without uttering it, we can touch the chords of each other’s heart. Love is a complex feeling, an incurable insanity, and we like to tender it personally than saying it loud.
太对了，梅布尔。亚洲文化，尤其是印度、中国和马来西亚的文化，确实让我们无法一直大声重复地说“我爱你”。这是一种我们内心深处的感觉，就像你说的，这是一种情感上的依恋，而不是身体上的。我不反对人们大声说“我爱你”，毫无疑问，这也是爱的一种形式。但简单地说，我们的文化相信私下交谈，甚至不说出来，可以更触动彼此的心弦。爱情是一种复杂的情感，我们喜欢亲自去表达它，而不是大声说出来。
Mabel Kwong
It is fascinating how Indian culture is so similar to Chinese culture. Whispering it is a nice way to put it. Agree with you that love is also ‘an incurable insanity’ – love how you say it The good kind of love will make us always be there for someone, but too much of it can turn destructive.
印度文化与中国文化很相似，真是令人着迷。私下交谈是个不错的表达方式。我同意你的看法，用你的话说这就是爱，爱让我们永远在某人身边，但太多的爱会产生毁灭性的后果。
It is fascinating how Indian culture is so similar to Chinese culture. Whispering it is a nice way to put it. Agree with you that love is also ‘an incurable insanity’ – love how you say it The good kind of love will make us always be there for someone, but too much of it can turn destructive.
印度文化与中国文化很相似，真是令人着迷。私下交谈是个不错的表达方式。我同意你的看法，用你的话说这就是爱，爱让我们永远在某人身边，但太多的爱会产生毁灭性的后果。
Maniparna Sengupta Majumder
Right..too much love can make one extremely possessive and just like any other feeling and emotion, love also demands space. True love, perhaps, is an impeccable concoction of trust, friendship and mutual respect…
对。太多的爱会让人产生极强的占有欲，就像其他感情一样，爱也需要空间。也许，真正的爱情是信任、友谊和相互尊重的完美组合。
Right..too much love can make one extremely possessive and just like any other feeling and emotion, love also demands space. True love, perhaps, is an impeccable concoction of trust, friendship and mutual respect…
对。太多的爱会让人产生极强的占有欲，就像其他感情一样，爱也需要空间。也许，真正的爱情是信任、友谊和相互尊重的完美组合。
TheresaBarker
Mabel: I really liked this: “what is love? Love is complex.” Thank you again for a wonderfully detailed look at another aspect of culture I had never read about before. It made me reflect on my husband’s and my relationship, and that he really demonstrates his love for me by doing things for me, such as managing finances, going grocery shopping when needed, kid-care, little house repair tasks, etc. He also says, “I love you” – we are both American from Northern European heritage .But the outward rah-rah support isn’t his style. And your article made me think about that a little more. It’s not that I am sad he isn’t more outwardly enthusiastic
梅布尔: 我真的很喜欢这句话: “什么是爱？爱是复杂的”。再次感谢你精彩而详细地介绍了我以前从未感受过的文化的另一面。这让我反思了我丈夫和我的关系，他真正地通过为我做一些事情来表达他对我的爱，比如理财，必要时陪我去杂货店购物，帮忙照顾孩子，修理小房子等等。他也会说：“我爱你”。我们都是来自北欧的美国人。但表面上的支持并不是他的风格。你的文章让我对此有了更多的思考。当他没有表现出更多的热情时，我不会难过了。
Mabel: I really liked this: “what is love? Love is complex.” Thank you again for a wonderfully detailed look at another aspect of culture I had never read about before. It made me reflect on my husband’s and my relationship, and that he really demonstrates his love for me by doing things for me, such as managing finances, going grocery shopping when needed, kid-care, little house repair tasks, etc. He also says, “I love you” – we are both American from Northern European heritage .But the outward rah-rah support isn’t his style. And your article made me think about that a little more. It’s not that I am sad he isn’t more outwardly enthusiastic
梅布尔: 我真的很喜欢这句话: “什么是爱？爱是复杂的”。再次感谢你精彩而详细地介绍了我以前从未感受过的文化的另一面。这让我反思了我丈夫和我的关系，他真正地通过为我做一些事情来表达他对我的爱，比如理财，必要时陪我去杂货店购物，帮忙照顾孩子，修理小房子等等。他也会说：“我爱你”。我们都是来自北欧的美国人。但表面上的支持并不是他的风格。你的文章让我对此有了更多的思考。当他没有表现出更多的热情时，我不会难过了。
Mabel Kwong
Thank you so much for sharing you and you husband’s relationship, Theresa. It does sound like a very solid one, and he sounds like the kind who can do anything if he just gets up and try and be there – which is what he brings to your relationship
非常感谢你分享你和你丈夫的关系。你的丈夫确实是一个非常可靠的人，他听起来像是那种只要站起来，就试着努力做任何事情的人——这就是他给你们的关系带来的东西
Thank you so much for sharing you and you husband’s relationship, Theresa. It does sound like a very solid one, and he sounds like the kind who can do anything if he just gets up and try and be there – which is what he brings to your relationship
非常感谢你分享你和你丈夫的关系。你的丈夫确实是一个非常可靠的人，他听起来像是那种只要站起来，就试着努力做任何事情的人——这就是他给你们的关系带来的东西
Tina Schell
As always a thoughtful and insightful post Mabel. I would rather the Asian approach of showing vs verbalizing love than the American approach which tends to use the phrase far too often and easily, causing it to lose its meaning.
你的帖子总是深思熟虑和富有洞察力。我宁愿用亚洲人的方式来表达爱，而不是美国人的方式，美国人的方式往往过于频繁和轻易地使用这个短语，导致它失去了意义。
As always a thoughtful and insightful post Mabel. I would rather the Asian approach of showing vs verbalizing love than the American approach which tends to use the phrase far too often and easily, causing it to lose its meaning.
你的帖子总是深思熟虑和富有洞察力。我宁愿用亚洲人的方式来表达爱，而不是美国人的方式，美国人的方式往往过于频繁和轻易地使用这个短语，导致它失去了意义。
Mabel Kwong
Thanks, Tina. Agree that saying and showing love out loud too often can become mundane after a while.
谢谢你。过多地大声说出和展示爱会在一段时间后变得麻木。
Thanks, Tina. Agree that saying and showing love out loud too often can become mundane after a while.
谢谢你。过多地大声说出和展示爱会在一段时间后变得麻木。
dgkaye
This hesitancy to be able to say those 3 little (big) words goes beyond culture, but you’ve explained your views on culture beautifully here, But in my heart of hearts I will say that although love is not always learned from our upbringings, things can change that in a moment. My upbringing never consisted of those words either. The thought of saying those words would have felt embarrassing because unfamiliar. But gratefully, I found my best friend at age 20, who opened up a whole new world of learning what love was and learning how to say those words.
为了能说出那三个大字而犹豫不决，这超出了文化的范畴，你已经在这里很好地解释了你对这种文化的观点，但在我的内心深处，我要说的是，爱并不总是从我们的成长中学到的，有些事情可以在瞬间发生改变。在我的成长过程中，这些话也从未出现过。一想到要说这些话就会让我感到尴尬，因为我不习惯。我心存感激的是，我在20岁的时候找到了我最好的朋友，她为我开启了一个全新的世界，让我学会了什么是爱，学会了如何说出这些话。
This hesitancy to be able to say those 3 little (big) words goes beyond culture, but you’ve explained your views on culture beautifully here, But in my heart of hearts I will say that although love is not always learned from our upbringings, things can change that in a moment. My upbringing never consisted of those words either. The thought of saying those words would have felt embarrassing because unfamiliar. But gratefully, I found my best friend at age 20, who opened up a whole new world of learning what love was and learning how to say those words.
为了能说出那三个大字而犹豫不决，这超出了文化的范畴，你已经在这里很好地解释了你对这种文化的观点，但在我的内心深处，我要说的是，爱并不总是从我们的成长中学到的，有些事情可以在瞬间发生改变。在我的成长过程中，这些话也从未出现过。一想到要说这些话就会让我感到尴尬，因为我不习惯。我心存感激的是，我在20岁的时候找到了我最好的朋友，她为我开启了一个全新的世界，让我学会了什么是爱，学会了如何说出这些话。
Mabel Kwong
Love is love and if we feel it, we will feel the need to express it. You are right in that things can change in the moment, so you are very honest when you say you say ‘I love you’ when you feel like it
爱就是爱，如果我们感觉到了，我们就会觉得有必要表达出来。你是对的，事情在一瞬间就会发生改变，但当你说‘我爱你’时，你是非常真诚的
Love is love and if we feel it, we will feel the need to express it. You are right in that things can change in the moment, so you are very honest when you say you say ‘I love you’ when you feel like it
爱就是爱，如果我们感觉到了，我们就会觉得有必要表达出来。你是对的，事情在一瞬间就会发生改变，但当你说‘我爱你’时，你是非常真诚的
AmyRose
It is universal regardless of culture that the human desire for closeness is there. It’s just a part of our hardwiring. Some people have an easier time of touching and being close then others, but deep inside the desire is there. (discounting mental disease) As for love, those three words (I love you) to me are sacred and I don’t say them too often but when I do, I really mean them. I am seeing in some people, how glib and how easily those words are said leaving me question …. But you don’t even know so how can you possibly say “I love you” to me? Hmmmm …. Being human is very complex and love all by itself is a very complex part of being human.
无论文化如何，人类对亲密的渴望都是普遍存在的，这是我们生活的一部分。有些人比其他人更容易接触和亲近，内心深处的欲望更强。至于爱情，那三个字(我爱你)对我来说是神圣的，我不常说，但当我说时，我是非常认真的。我看到有些人说这些话时多么油嘴滑舌，这很容易让我产生疑问。疑问是你不知道什么是爱，你怎么可能对我说“我爱你”？作为人类是非常复杂的，而爱本身就是人类非常复杂的一部分。
It is universal regardless of culture that the human desire for closeness is there. It’s just a part of our hardwiring. Some people have an easier time of touching and being close then others, but deep inside the desire is there. (discounting mental disease) As for love, those three words (I love you) to me are sacred and I don’t say them too often but when I do, I really mean them. I am seeing in some people, how glib and how easily those words are said leaving me question …. But you don’t even know so how can you possibly say “I love you” to me? Hmmmm …. Being human is very complex and love all by itself is a very complex part of being human.
无论文化如何，人类对亲密的渴望都是普遍存在的，这是我们生活的一部分。有些人比其他人更容易接触和亲近，内心深处的欲望更强。至于爱情，那三个字(我爱你)对我来说是神圣的，我不常说，但当我说时，我是非常认真的。我看到有些人说这些话时多么油嘴滑舌，这很容易让我产生疑问。疑问是你不知道什么是爱，你怎么可能对我说“我爱你”？作为人类是非常复杂的，而爱本身就是人类非常复杂的一部分。
Mabel Kwong
Agree. We are all complex people. Love is complex. Sometimes we all need to be a bit simple and appreciate the moment and just let ourselves feel and be.
我同意。我们都是复杂的人。爱情也是复杂的。有时候我们都需要简单一点，珍惜这一刻，用心去感受。
Agree. We are all complex people. Love is complex. Sometimes we all need to be a bit simple and appreciate the moment and just let ourselves feel and be.
我同意。我们都是复杂的人。爱情也是复杂的。有时候我们都需要简单一点，珍惜这一刻，用心去感受。
Behind the Story
You picked a huge subject, Mabel, and did a good job with it.
When I was dating my husband, the first words he taught me in Mandarin were I love you. It wasn’t exactly the same as telling me he loved me. It seemed more like a language lesson that also hinted at his feelings. I don’t think we told each other “I love you” until we were thinking about marriage. Then we said it more frequently. There’s so much more to love than those three little words. We show our love in our physical closeness, by our actions in caring for each other, and by sharing our thoughts and our lives with each other.
梅布尔，你选了一个重要的话题，写得很好。当我和我丈夫约会时，他用普通话教我的第一句话就是我爱你。这和告诉我他爱我完全不一样。这似乎更像是一堂语言课，但暗示了他对我的感受。我想在我们考虑结婚之前，我们会告诉对方“我爱你”。后来我们说得更频繁了。但除了这三个字，还有很多东西值得去爱。我们通过亲密的身体接触，相互关心的行动，以及与他人分享我们的思想和生活来表达我们的爱。
You picked a huge subject, Mabel, and did a good job with it.
When I was dating my husband, the first words he taught me in Mandarin were I love you. It wasn’t exactly the same as telling me he loved me. It seemed more like a language lesson that also hinted at his feelings. I don’t think we told each other “I love you” until we were thinking about marriage. Then we said it more frequently. There’s so much more to love than those three little words. We show our love in our physical closeness, by our actions in caring for each other, and by sharing our thoughts and our lives with each other.
梅布尔，你选了一个重要的话题，写得很好。当我和我丈夫约会时，他用普通话教我的第一句话就是我爱你。这和告诉我他爱我完全不一样。这似乎更像是一堂语言课，但暗示了他对我的感受。我想在我们考虑结婚之前，我们会告诉对方“我爱你”。后来我们说得更频繁了。但除了这三个字，还有很多东西值得去爱。我们通过亲密的身体接触，相互关心的行动，以及与他人分享我们的思想和生活来表达我们的爱。
