Maybe five years have been gone since the first time I took part in the CET-6.
It's really significant and hard for me that during these exams I have to learn to understand myself better step by step. Actually we don't know ourselves, or at least no as well as we think we do. Compared with the college entrance examination or the graduate entrance examination, it costs me more time and exerts an imperceptibly influence on my life.
At first, I didn't care it at all. But I understand the gap of English language proficiency between me and my roommate who got nearly six hundred scores without any preparation while I only got half of his with some ineffective review.
It's true, I did not care it that time. Long ago I decided the future to work hard in order to pursue what I really want, to love who I love. However when I really needed it, I spent too much time on part time jobs. I still remember the tears on the childish face in that autumn. There is not any regret in life. Without comparing different results of a choice, we will never know which one is better or best for future. There is not right or wrong on the earth at all. We just hope to make a better decision which maybe unreasonable and will be explained after that.
During those happy time, I hadn't been struggled for what I hate. Just because I forgot my name, I didn't have to look in a mirror thereby didn't know my unpleasant face. Until I found them here all the time again. I tried to change and failed.
In retrospect, the hardest part is to accept myself, to accept the name which is just a word of lab or a string of characters. More important thing is to change what I am in charge, to enjoy the rest of my short life which is becoming less and less.
My baby, I am so sorry for that I didn't see you for last time when you left the world, now I miss you so much when meet a dog who looks like you so much.
