原文：Teach girls bravery, not perfection
来源：TED Talk
翻译：叫我NANA就好了
When I was a little girl, I loved getting attention – not the little girl’s type of attention, but the type of attention to prove that I could do things better than others, such as solving the hardest math problems (at 3rd grade), or having unique ideas on certain topics and expressing them in literature classes. I favored those accomplishments and enjoyed the attention.
当我还是一个小女孩的时候，我喜欢得到关注，但不是那种简单的小女孩式的关注，而是可以证明我可以把事情做的比其他人更好的那种。例如解决最难的数学问题（在第三年级的时候），或者在某些主题上有独特的想法，并在文学课上表达他们。我非常喜欢那些成就，并享受这种关注。
However, this personality didn’t last long and quickly turned out to be disliked by my peers, both boys and girls. The reasons were obvious - boys didn’t like to lose, and girls thought I was a show-off. What’s even worse, in Asian cultures, showing off what you are capable is socialized as totally undesirable, and this dramatically facilitated the deliberate downplay of my behavior. In order to be accepted by my peers, as a result, I started constantly pressing myself down to turn off the inner-attention-craving system and tried to stay quiet like a normal, “perfect” girl.
然而，这种个性并没有持续很长的时间，而且很快就被我的同龄人不喜欢了，不论是男孩还是女孩。理由很简单,男孩子不喜欢输的感觉，而女孩子则认为我是在炫耀。更糟糕的是，在亚洲文化中，炫耀你的能力是完全不受欢迎的一种行为，而这一点，大大促进了一些故意贬低我的行为。为了被我的同龄人接受，我开始不断地向自己施压，以关闭内心的“注意力渴求系统”，然后像一个正常的“完美女孩”一样保持安静。
This kind of experience in my early age inevitably developed the mind-set that I was wrong and I needed to change. In the following 20 years, I’ve been taking my personality as a forever “need-to-be-corrected” trait. Deep in my heart, I never strived to be brave or stand out; instead, I always secretly stopped myself and said “shhh, you’re doing it again.”
这种早期的经历，不可避免的影响了我对自己的看法：我是错的，我需要改变。在接下来的20年里，我一直把我的个性作为一个永远的“需要纠正”的特性。在我的内心深处，我从来没有想过要努力勇敢或脱颖而出，相反，我总是偷偷地停了下来，对自己说：“嘘，你又来了”。
Fast forward to August 2015, I had left my previous company and intended to take a break. When most of my friends and colleagues heard about it, this resignation certainly climbed onto their list of “2015 most brave behaviors”, and I was being recognized as a brave young professional who is willing to take risks.
很快的到了2015年的八月，我离开了我以前的公司，打算休息一下。当我大部分的朋友和同事听说这件事的时候，我的这个举动无疑被列入了他们的“2015最勇敢的行为”的名单，而我也被认为是一个勇敢的年轻的专业人士，因为我愿意去承担风险。
However, I was not the brave one. My husband was actually encouraging me behind the scenes by telling me every single day, “don’t be afraid, take a break and figure out what you want to do.” His encouragement not only demonstrated a great supportive lifetime partner, but more importantly, it showed me the difference on how we take risks, between men and women.
其实，我并不是一个勇敢的人。我的丈夫实际上每天都在背后鼓励我并告诉我：不要害怕，让自己好好休息一下，想清楚自己想要做的事情。他的鼓励不仅表现出一个终身伴侣的伟大支持，更重要的是，他让我看到了在看待冒险的问题上，男人和女人之间的差异。
The past 6 months was indeed a luxury break, and this process of self-identification enabled me to truly explore myself and build my personal brand. It actually feels fantastic to be brave, and more importantly, remain true to myself. I finally realized that all of my “wrong” behaviors were actually essentials to me as an individual, and I’ve never been as comfortable being myself ever before.I could be the little girl who wants to stand out,voice her opinions,and shouw her abilities.That's something I should advertise,instead of hiding for decades.
过去的6个月的确是一个宝贵的突破。在这个自我认同的过程，使我能够真正地探索自己，建立起我的个人品牌。勇敢的感觉真的棒极了，更重要的是，能够保持真实的自己。我终于意识到，那些所谓的“错误”的行为正是我作为一个独特个体的必需品，而我也从来没有像这样这么舒服的做自己。我可以做那个想站出来，发表自己的意见，并展示她的能力的小女孩，这才是我应该做的事，而不是隐藏了几十年。
