孙悟空被压五指山（二）
两人大战三百多个回合后，二郎神突然施展大神通，化作万丈高巨人，挥动三尖两刃刀，青面獠牙，红发飘扬，气势汹汹向孙悟空劈砍。
孙悟空不甘示弱，摇身一变，也变成万丈高人，模样和二郎神一模一样，挥舞金箍棒迎战。
这一幕吓得马、流二元帅腿软，连旗都不敢摇；崩、芭二将刀都拿不稳。梅山六兄弟带着草头神，驱鹰牵犬，张弓搭箭，直扑水帘洞。
猴子们被冲得乱成一锅粥，四健将被打散，灵怪也被抓了好几千。猴兵丢盔弃甲，哭爹喊娘，有的跑有的藏，乱成了鸟儿被惊飞的夜晚。
孙悟空和二郎神正激战，忽见营内猴兵大乱，心里一紧，急忙收起神通，拔腿就跑。
二郎神喊：“哪里跑？快投降，我还能饶你性命！”孙悟空不理，专心逃命。
跑到洞口，撞上康、张、姚、李四太尉和郭申、直健两将军，六人堵住去路：“泼猴，哪儿跑？”
孙悟空慌了，金箍棒变成绣花针藏耳朵里，一转身变成麻雀，飞上树梢钉住不动。
六兄弟东找西找找不到，正喊“跑了跑了”，二郎神来了。他一眼就认出大圣伎俩，变成鹞鹰扑上去。
孙悟空见状，一扇翅膀变大鸬鹚冲天，二郎神紧追，变大海鹤钻云而下。
孙悟空见形势不妙，扎入水涧变鱼儿。二郎神赶来，也变鱼鹰游水面巡逻。
孙悟空见水面怪鸟游来警觉，打滚游走。二郎神一看鱼儿样怪，猛然明白：“就是你！”张口啄去。
孙悟空赶紧跳出水面，变水蛇钻进岸边草丛。
二郎神扑空，追到岸上见蛇，认出是孙悟空，变灰鹤飞扑。
孙悟空又化花鸨站岸边，二郎神笑道：“泼猴，你变花鸨糊弄我？花鸨最贱没人靠近，我才不上当。”说罢变回原形，取弹弓，“嗖”地一弹，孙悟空借势滚下山崖，变新招：一座土地庙，大嘴当庙门，牙齿当门扇，舌头是菩萨，眼睛是窗户，尾巴成旗杆。
二郎神看着怪庙和怪旗杆，心生疑惑：“哪有庙把旗杆立后头？这猴子想骗我，好来咬我。”挥拳砸窗，踢门板。
庙里孙悟空吓出冷汗：“糟了，窗户是眼睛，门扇是牙齿，他真踢了，我完了！”猛地一跃飞上半空。
二郎神追来未果，正遇四太尉和二将军赶来问：“兄长，捉住泼猴了吗？”
他苦笑：“刚才猴精变庙，我要砸他，他跳了，狡猾得很！”众人愣住，四处张望不见踪影。
二郎神吩咐兄弟留守巡逻，自己驾云上天寻找。
李天王手握照妖镜，和哪吒并肩站在云端。二郎神问：“天王，孙悟空踪迹可见？”李天王答：“他没飞上来，我一直照着呢。”二郎神听完前因后果，笑了：“别找了，那猴精会隐身，早偷偷溜回我灌江口老巢了！”说罢收兵器，急忙赶回灌江口追去。
孙悟空逃回灌江口，摇身一变，变成二郎神模样，落云进庙。鬼判们见“爷爷”来了，纷纷跪拜。他正翻看香火簿，细看众生供品愿文。忽听外头喊：“又来了个爷爷！”众鬼一听，全傻眼。
真二郎神赶来，问：“这里有没有齐天大圣？”鬼判们一脸懵：“没见什么大圣，就见一个爷爷在庙里。”二郎神冲门而入，孙悟空露真身笑说：“真君别吵，这庙归孙家了！”掏出金箍棒，二人开打，边打边吵，一路从庙里打到天上，又冲回花果山。
天兵严阵以待，四太尉和二将军见真君来了，急忙合围，将孙悟空围个水泄不通。
大力鬼王回宫报信，玉皇大帝、观音菩萨、王母娘娘和众仙正商讨，关心二郎神久战无果。观音菩萨提议：“陛下不如亲自出马南天门看看。”玉皇大帝应允，众仙齐出天门。
花果山上，天兵列阵，李天王和哪吒持照妖镜守云端。二郎神和孙悟空激战正酣。
观音菩萨说：“二郎神厉害，可还没拿下他。我来帮一把！”太上老君笑问：“你准备怎么助阵？”观音菩萨答：“我扔个净瓶杨柳，晃晃他的脑袋，不求打死，就让二郎神抓住机会。”
太上老君摇头：“净瓶瓷做的，砸不中还碎，算了，我来！”他从臂上取出“金刚琢”，法力无边，水火不侵，专破法术。“当年我化胡为佛靠它，这次就用它收服妖猴！”
说完，太上老君把金刚琢往孙悟空头顶一扔，正中天灵盖。孙悟空正酣战，猛然被击倒，摔了个大马趴。刚想起身逃跑，被二郎神的细犬咬住腿肚，又一跤。
孙悟空骂：“死狗不咬坏人，偏咬我孙爷爷！”身子不听使唤，被七圣围上，绑得结结实实，琵琶骨被钩穿，动弹不得。
太上老君收回金刚琢，和玉皇大帝、观音菩萨、王母娘娘等回天宫。四大天王和天兵也撤回营地，纷纷向二郎神祝贺。
二郎神谦虚道：“哪里敢居功，这全靠众神合力和玉皇大帝的福荫。”
康、张等太尉建议：“趁热打铁，把猴子押上天审判吧。”二郎神摇头：“你们没领天命，不能擅自去见玉皇大帝，还是我和天王们去领旨。你们留守清理花果山，等我请赏回来一起庆功。”
众人领命。二郎神驾云凯旋，至通明殿。天师高声启奏：“妖猴已擒，请陛下发落。”玉皇大帝即下令：押往斩妖台，碎尸万段！
孙悟空被绑柱上，刀砍斧剁、枪刺剑戳，伤不了分毫。南斗星君放火烧，烧不着；雷公电母雷击，也无效。
大力鬼王奏曰：“万岁，这猴子练了啥神功，刀枪水火全不怕，如何处置？”
玉皇大帝发愁。太上老君道：“猴子吃了仙桃、御酒，还偷我炼的仙丹。五壶丹药生熟齐进了他肚子，用三昧真火炼成金刚之躯，难伤分毫。不如交给我，带去八卦炉炼七七四十九天，把丹药逼出来，他自会灰飞烟灭。”
玉皇大帝允准，六丁六甲押大圣给太上老君。太上老君带回兜率宫，解开绳索，取出穿琵琶骨的钩铁，推他进八卦炉，吩咐道人童子添火猛炼。
孙悟空钻进“巽宫”避火，火烧不到，却熏红了眼睛，从此有了“火眼金睛”。
四十九天后，丹炼成。太上老君开炉取药，只见孙悟空揉红眼，听动静立刻跳出炉口，“呼啦”一声踹翻炉子，飞速逃跑。童子道人拦不住，被撞得一个个跌倒。太上老君追赶，被孙悟空一把拽倒了个倒栽葱。
孙悟空抽出耳中金箍棒，一晃变粗，神威再现，不分青红皂白闹上天宫，把九曜星吓得闭门不出，四大天王也躲得远远的。
孙悟空乱打乱砸，冲进灵霄殿外。守将王灵官挥金鞭挡道：“泼猴，别狂，有我在此！”
孙悟空不理，挥棒猛打，二人打得难分难解。佑圣真君急调雷部三十六将围攻，孙悟空不慌不忙，棒来棒往，攻防有序。
眼见敌多，他变三头六臂，三根金箍棒齐舞，六只手挥舞如风车，打得天兵天将都靠不上！
天宫乱成一团，孙悟空硬是扛住了雷将们的围攻，玉皇大帝急得直跺脚，连忙下令让游奕灵官和翊圣真君火速飞去西方，请佛祖来降服这只泼猴。
二圣领了圣旨，赶到雷音寺，向四大金刚和八位菩萨行礼，请他们转告如来佛祖。传话完，如来佛祖召见二圣，二人跪在佛前恭敬行礼。
如来佛祖问：“玉皇大帝为何请我出山？”
二圣回答：“东胜神洲花果山出了只猴子，七十二变、神通广大。玉皇大帝先封他弼马温，他嫌官小不干；后来封他齐天大圣，他还不安分，偷桃子、偷酒、捣乱大会，连太上老君的仙丹都敢偷，最后大闹天宫，十万天兵都拿不住。二郎神和太上老君勉强才暂时擒住他，放进八卦炉炼了四十九天，他不但没事，反倒更厉害了，又跑上天宫闹事，众神都围着他拿不住。天界危急，特请如来出手。”
如来佛祖点头：“你们先留佛堂，我去降服这妖猴。”带着阿难和迦叶，快步来到天宫外，只听喊杀声震天，三十六雷将正围着孙悟空。
如来佛祖令众神退兵，准备与孙悟空单挑。孙悟空气势汹汹问：“你是哪路神仙，管我闲事？”
如来佛祖笑道：“我是释迦牟尼佛。听说你大闹天宫，自封齐天大圣，哪来的本事？什么时候得的道？为何如此狂妄？”
孙悟空自豪道：“我是天地间的灵猴，花果山水帘洞修炼成仙，学了长生不老、七十二变和筋斗云。下界太小，我理应住天上。英雄自有英雄的位子，凭什么玉皇大帝就能高高在上？”
如来佛祖冷笑：“玉皇大帝修行一千七百多劫，每劫几十万年，才有今日成就。你这猴子不过学了点法术，就想夺他的位？妄想！不悔改，必遭天谴。”
孙悟空顶嘴：“老天也不是他家的！常言道‘皇帝轮流做，明年到我家’，让他让位，我自然不闹。”
如来佛祖说：“既然你有本事，来打个赌。你能跳出我手掌，我马上请玉皇大帝让位；跳不出去，就别再折腾，回凡间重修。”
孙悟空笑：“你真呆！我一筋斗十万八千里，你这手掌哪有一尺，跳不出去算我输。”
如来佛祖伸出右手，掌心像荷叶那么大。孙悟空跳上去，喊一声“我走啦”，筋斗云一飞，跑得天昏地暗。眼见五根红柱撑着青气，以为到头了，拔根毛当笔，在柱子上写了“齐天大圣到此一游”，还撒了泡尿才回头。
回到佛掌，大喊：“我已经到尽头了，还不快把天宫让给我？”
如来佛祖笑骂：“尿猴，还在我手掌里转呢！”
孙悟空不信：“我明明去了，写了字撒了尿，你敢陪我再去？”
如来佛祖说：“不必去了，你自己低头看看。”
孙悟空低头一看，指头上赫然写着“齐天大圣到此一游”，还有股猴尿味，吓得脸色发白：“啥？我明明去了尽头，怎么还在他手掌？”
他气急败坏：“不信我再去！”
孙悟空正准备再跳，如来早已看穿他的心思，反手一掌，五指合拢，变成金、木、水、火、土五座大山，合称“五行山”，轻轻一压，把孙悟空镇在山下。
众雷神和阿难、迦叶合十齐声赞道：“当年他从石头蹦出，立志成仙，千锤百炼，却一时贪念，偷桃偷酒、乱闹天宫，罪孽深重，如今遭报，应得如此。”
如来佛祖制服妖猴，带着阿难、迦叶准备回西天。天蓬元帅和天佑真君匆忙来请如来佛祖稍候，说玉皇大帝亲自来谢恩。
果然，祥云环绕，仙乐悠扬，玉皇大帝驾到，向如来佛祖深深一拜：
“多亏如来降妖有功，特设盛宴，广邀众仙，以表谢意。”
如来佛祖合掌答道：“我只是奉命行事，哪敢居功？降妖除害，靠的是众神福德。”
玉皇大帝下令，召集三清、四御、五老、六司、七元、八极、九曜、十都、千真、万圣共赴盛会，名曰“安天大会”，地点设在玉京金阙，堂上七宝灵台，珍馐美馔应有尽有，场面盛大无比。
不一会儿，元始天尊、灵宝天尊、道德天尊，以及各路星君、天王、哪吒等仙人，携带宝物珍果前来拜谢如来，齐声说道：
“妖猴搅乱三界，幸赖如来法力，三界太平得保。此会当名‘安天大会’。”
如来佛祖点头称是，众仙欢喜鼓掌，仙乐飘飘，香气缭绕，玉液琼浆，玉女起舞，祥云缭绕，祥光万道，场面极其热闹。
这时王母娘娘也带着仙子翩翩起舞，献上亲手采摘的几颗大蟠桃，香气扑鼻，艳丽无比，号称“吃一口，百年不老”。
随后南极寿星也赶来，捧着灵芝、碧藕、金丹，笑着说：
“那猴子当初被太上老君炼丹时，我还以为他服了，没想到又闹起来。如今被如来佛祖镇住，实在让人痛快！”
赤脚大仙也赶来祝贺，献上几枚交梨和火枣，大家对如来佛祖的功德赞不绝口。
如来佛祖谦虚道谢，让阿难和迦叶把仙果宝物一一收好。宴会上仙乐响起，觥筹交错，众神正喝得尽兴，忽然灵官急匆匆跑来报信：
“大圣从山下探头了！”
如来佛祖淡淡一笑：“没关系。”从袖中掏出一张写着“唵嘛呢叭咪吽”的金符，交给阿难，让他贴在五行山顶。
阿难照办，符一贴上，五行山顿时紧紧闭合，孙悟空只能微微喘气，手脚拼命挣扎，却再也出不来了。
如来佛祖这才放心离开，又念了几句真言，吩咐山神土地和五方揭谛看守山头。还说，猴子饿了给他吃铁丸子，渴了给他喝熔铜汁，好让他好好受苦，等着有缘人来救度他。
Sun Wukong Was Imprisoned Beneath the Five Fingers Mountain (II)
After 300 bone-rattling rounds, Erlang Shen suddenly grew into a towering giant—fangs bared, red hair flying, his massive spear whistling through the air. Not to be outdone, Wukong transformed too, matching him size for size, wielding his golden cudgel like a thunderbolt.
The sight was enough to make seasoned generals lose their nerve. Marshals Ma and Liu were too scared to wave their flags. Generals Beng and Ba dropped their swords. Chaos erupted as the Mei brothers led their troops, along with eagle hounds and bowmen, straight toward the Water Curtain Cave.
The monkey army fell apart. Four of Wukong’s elite guards were scattered. Thousands of magical beasts were captured. Monkeys screamed, tossed their weapons, and ran for the hills like birds flushed from the trees.
Wukong, still locked in combat with ErlangShen. When he glanced down at the battlefield, he panicked. He broke off, shrank down, and ran like mad.
“Running won’t save you!” Erlang Shen shouted. “Surrender, and I might spare your life!”
But Wukong wasn’t listening. He bolted for the cave entrance—only to find it blocked by the six Mei brothers.
“Going somewhere, Monkey?”
Wukong didn’t answer. He shrunk his golden cudgel, tucked it behind his ear, and shapeshifted into a sparrow, fluttering up to a tree and freezing in place.
The six brothers looked around, baffled. “He’s gone!”
Erlang Shen arrived and immediately spotted the trick. With a smirk, he transformed into a hawk and dove.
Wukong flapped once and turned into a giant cormorant, soaring through the clouds. Erlang Shen gave chase, morphing into a sea crane.
Wukong dived into a stream and became a fish. ErlangShen dove in after him, now a fish-hunting bird.
Wukong darted and rolled beneath the surface. Erlang Shen studied the fish, then pounced—“Gotcha!”
But Wukong flipped out of the water and turned into a snake, slithering into the grass. ErlangShen transformed again, this time into a gray heron.
Now Wukong shifted into a gaudy river bird, hoping the ugly form would repel his pursuer. But Erlang Shen just scoffed, “Nice try. No one likes a flower pheasant, not even me.” He snapped back to his real form, whipped out a slingshot, and let it fly.
Wukong tumbled off a cliff, rolling and twisting midair, then transformed into a tiny Earth Temple. His wide mouth became the door, teeth the gate, tongue the Bodhisattva, eyes the windows, tail the flagpole.
Erlang Shen arrived and squinted. “Since when do temples put their flags in the back? This monkey’s trying to lure me in so he can bite me!” He punched the window and kicked the gate.
Inside, Wukong broke into a cold sweat. “Uh-oh! Those were my eye and teeth!” With a leap, he shot back into the sky.
Erlang Shen chased him again but missed. His brothers soon caught up.
“Got him?”
“No,” Erlang Shen muttered, rubbing his jaw. “He turned into a temple. Almost had him. Slippery devil.”
“Where is he now?”
“Gone. Again. You guys stay on watch. I’ll hunt from above.”
Meanwhile, Li Jing, holding the demon-revealing mirror, hovered beside Nezha in the clouds.
“See anything?” Erlang Shen asked.
Li Jing shook his head. “He hasn’t flown past. I’ve had the mirror pointed this way the whole time.”
Erlang Shen laughed. “Don’t bother. That monkey turned invisible and probably snuck back to my temple at GuanJiangKou.”
With that, he bolted back home.
Sure enough, Wukong had beaten him there. He disguised himself as Erlang Shen and strolled into the temple like he owned it. The ghost judges all bowed. “Master’s back!”
Wukong casually flipped through the incense registerand read the offerings and wish lists.
Just then, someone shouted, “Wait! Another master just arrived!”
The ghost judges froze. Two ErlangShens?
The real one burst in. “Has anyone seen the Great Sage the Equal of Heaven?”
The confused ghost judges pointed inside. “Just one Master in there, reading the prayer scrolls…”
Erlang Shen stormed in. Wukong dropped the act, flashed a toothy grin, and said, “No need to yell! This temple belongs to me now!”
Out came the golden cudgel.
They fought from the temple to rooftop, from sky to forest, finally clashing back at Mount Huaguo.
This time, the Heavenly army was ready. The Mei brothers and their troops surrounded Wukong. There was nowhere left to run.
Back in Heaven, Jade Emperor and all the gods were growing anxious. News from the front had gone quiet. Guanyin finally suggested, “Your Majesty, why not go to the SouthernHeavenly Gate and see for yourself?”
Jade Emperor agreed. The entire heavenly court followed.
From above Mount Huaguo, the gods watched the chaos unfold. Wukong and ErlangShen were locked in a savage duel.
Guanyin leaned over and said, “ErlangShen’s tough, but he hasn’t caught him yet. Let me give him a little help.”
Taishang Laojun chuckled. “Hoow exactly do you plan to help?”
Guanyin smiled. “I’ll toss my pure vase with willow branches. Just a little bonk on his head. Won’t kill him, but might buy ErlangShen a chance.”
Taishang Laojun shook his head. “That vase? Made of porcelain. One toss, it’ll shatter. No good. I’ll handle this myself.”
From his sleeve, he drew out the diamond snare—a mystical weapon immune to fire, impervious to water, and deadly to illusions. “This baby helped me turn barbarians into Buddhas. It’ll work just fine on a rowdy monkey.”
Without another word, Taishang Laojun hurled the snare. It spun through the air and landed squarely on Sun Wukong’s head.
WHAM!
Wukong dropped like a rock mid-fight, face-first into the dirt. He struggled to get up—only to have Erlang Shen’s divine hunting dog sink its teeth into his calf. Down he went again.
“Stupid mutt!” Wukong cursed. “Can’t bite a real villain, just comes after me!”
Before he could wriggle free, the Seven Saints closed in. They tied him up tight, pierced his shoulder blades with hooks, and left him pinned and helpless.
Taishang Laojun calmly retrieved the snare, then flew back to Heaven with Jade Emperor, Guanyin, the Queen Mother of the West, and the rest of the divine VIPs.
The Four Heavenly Kings and the celestial troops returned to camp, showering Erlang Shen with praise.
But Erlang Shen stayed humble. “Please, I was just doing my part. It was a team effort. Credit goes to all the gods and Jade Emperor’s divine favor, of course.”
Generals Kang, Zhang, and company suggested, “Let’s strike while the iron’s hot. Drag the monkey straight to Heaven for judgment!”
Erlang Shen shook his head. “You don’t have a mandate to meet Jade Emperor. Let me and the Celestial Generals handle the report. You stay behind and secure Mount Huaguo. We’ll share the glory when I return.”
Orders given, he soared off toward the Tongming Palace.
There, the Celestial Master announced, “The rebel monkey is captured. Your Majesty, please issue punishment.”
Jade Emperor wasted no time: “Take him to the Demon Execution Platform! Chop him to bits!”
Wukong was bound to a post. Blades slashed. Axes hacked. Spears stabbed. Swords pierced. Nothing even scratched him.
Then Southern Dipper lit a fire. Still nothing. Thunder gods hurled lightning. No effect.
The Mighty Ghost King stepped forward. “Your Majesty, this monkey’s skin is tougher than dragonhide. Blades, fire, lightning,nothing works. What now?”
Jade Emperor frowned.
Taishang Laojun stepped in again. “He gorged on celestial peaches, divine wine, and my alchemy pills—five batches, raw and cooked. Then roasted himself in his own fire spell. His body’s basically indestructible now. Let me take him. I’ll throw him in my eighttrigrams furnace. Forty-nine days of sacred fire, and those stolen elixirs will be burned right out of him.”
Permission granted. Six Ding and Six Jia escorted Wukong to Taishang Laojun’s palace. Taishang Laojun removed his chains, unhooked his bones, and shoved him into the furnace.
“Turn up the fire!” he told his disciples. “Make it hot!”
Inside, Wukong huddled in the “Wind Palace” quadrant, avoiding the worst of the flames. But the smoke burned his eyes bright red. That’s how he got his legendary fiery golden eyes.
Forty-nine days later, Taishang Laojun opened the furnace, expecting ashes.
Instead—BOOM!
Wukong leapt out, eyes blazing, and kicked the entire furnace over. The disciples tried to stop him. He knocked them flying like bowling pins. Taishang Laojun lunged. Wukong grabbed him by the beard and flipped him head-first into a wall.
Then, from behind his ear, Wukong pulled out his golden cudgel, grew it to its full size, and went wild.
He stormed Heaven, smashing and bashing. The Nine Stars locked their gates in terror. Even the Four Heavenly Kings gave him a wide berth.
Wukong charged straight for the Lingxiao Palace.
The gate guard, General Wang, stepped forward, golden whip in hand. “Hold it, monkey! You’re not going any farther!”
Wukong didn’t even blink. He swung his golden cudgel, and the duel was on.
Soon, reinforcements arrived. 36 Thunder Generals from the Lightning Division. Wukong didn’t flinch. He parried. He struck. His golden cudgel whirled like a cyclone.
Then—poof!—he grew three heads and six arms, each one armed with a golden cudgel. He spun like a windmill, pummeling the heavenly forces so hard they couldn’t get within ten feet.
Heaven descended into chaos.
Jade Emperor stomped in frustration. “Enough! Send word to the Western Paradise. Bring Tathagata Buddha!”
Two divine envoys flew west, arriving at the Leiyin Temple. They bowed before the Four Great Vajras and Eight Great Bodhisattvas.
“Please inform Tathagata Buddha,” they said, “that Heaven needs his help.”
Soon, the envoys were kneeling before Tathagata Buddha himself.
“What brings you to me?” Tathagata Buddha asked.
They explained, “A monkey from Mount Huaguo has thrown all Heaven into disarray. He’s mastered seventy-two transformations, somersault clouds, and immortality. We offered him a post asthe supervisor of heavenly stables. Hewas dissatisfied with the low rank of this position and left on his own. Later, he was made to the Great Sage the Equal of Heaven. He’s still not satisfied. He’s stolen peaches, wine, and pills. Finally, he went on a rampage in Heaven. Even ten thousand celestial soldiers couldn’t hole him back. Erlang Shen and Taishang Laojun joined forces and managed to temporarily capture him. First, the monkey was brought to the demon execution platform to chop off his head, but it didn’t work. Then, Taishang Laojun put him in the eight trigrams furnace for 49 days. Not only was he unharmed, but he became even more powerful. After coming out of the furnace, he ran to Heaven to cause trouble. No one can stop him. Please, Tathagata Buddha, only you can subdue him.”
Tathagata Buddha nodded. “Stay here. I’ll handle this myself.”
With disciples Ananda and Kasyapa at his side,Tathagata Buddha flew to the edge of Heaven, where the battle still raged.
“Everyone, stand back,” Tathagata Buddha commanded. “Let me deal with him.”
Wukong, wild-eyed and glowing with fury, pointed his golden cudgel. “Who the heck are you?”
Tathagata Buddha smiled. “I am Shakyamuni Buddha. I’ve heard that you’ve crowned yourself Great Sagethe Equal of Earth and started a celestial riot. Care to explain?”
Wukong puffed up with pride. “I’m born of Heaven and Earth, trained in the Water Curtain Cave, mastered every art and transformation under the sun. I deserve to live in Heaven! Why should Jade Emperor sit on a throne while I sit on a cloud?”
Tathagata Buddha chuckled. “Jade Emperor has cultivated virtue for over 1,700 kalpas, millions of years of devotion. You, monkey, have dabbled in a few tricks and think you’re ready to rule? Your arrogance will be your downfall.”
Wukong snorted. “Heaven isn’t his birthright. There’s an old saying—‘Even emperors take turns.’ His turn is over. Mine’s just beginning.”
Tathagata Buddha raised an eyebrow. “Then let’s make a wager. If you can jump out of my palm, I’ll ask Jade Emperor to hand you the throne. But if you can’t, you’ll return to Earth, and stop all this nonsense. Deal?”
Wukong laughed. “Deal? That’s not a deal, it’s a joke! I can somersault across 108,000 miles. Your palm’s barely a foot wide. I’ll be out before you blink.”
Tathagata Buddha stretched out his right handand his palm was wide as a lotus leaf.
“See ya!” cried Wukong, leaping onto it. In a blink, he somersaulted off on his cloud, flying so fast the sky blurred. He soared through wind and mist until he spotted five towering red pillars piercing the green haze. Thinking he’d reached the edge of the world, he plucked a hair, turned it into a brush, and scrawled on one of the pillars:
“Great Sage the Equal of Heaven was here.”
To top it off, he relieved himself at the base, then zipped back, triumphant.
Landing back in Tathagata Buddha’s palm, he declared, “I made it to the end! Now hand over Heaven already!”
Tathagata Buddha chuckled. “You cheeky monkey. You never left my hand.”
Wukong scowled. “What? I saw the edge of the world! I wrote on it! I even took a leak! Don’t believe me? Let’s go back!”
“No need,” said Tathagata Buddha calmly. “Just look down.”
Wukong glanced at Tathagat Buddha’s middle finger and froze. There it was: his graffiti. And the unmistakable scent of monkey pee. His smug face turned pale.
“What?! That can’t be right. I went all the way to the edge!”
“I’ll go again!” he growled, fists clenched, preparing to jump.
But Tathagata Buddha was one step ahead. With a gentle flip of his hand, his five fingers closed in, transforming into five mighty peaks—Gold, Wood, Water, Fire, and Earth—the legendary Five Elements Mountain.
Boom.
He pinned Wukong beneath them like squashing a fly under a stone.
The Thunder Gods and disciples Ananda and Kasyapa pressed their palms together and chanted in unison:
“Born from stone, he sought immortality. After centuries of training, he gained power, but gave in to pride. He stole peaches, drank the divine wine, and wreaked havoc in Heaven. Now his karma has caught up with him. Justice is served.”
Tathagata Buddha nodded, satisfied, and turned to leave with his disciples.
Just then, Marshal Tianpeng and True Lord Tianyou rushed up in a panic.
“Please wait, Tathagat Buddha! Jade Emperor himself wishes to thank you!”
Moments later, celestial music rang out. Clouds swirled. Jade Emperor descended in full regalia. Bowing deeply, he said:
“Gratitude beyond words for subduing the demon monkey. I’ve arranged a grand banquet in your honor. Please come, all the immortals are invited.”
Tathagata Buddha returned the bow. “I was merely fulfilling my duty. It was the collective virtue of the gods that made it possible.”
Jade Emperor summoned every divine being, including Three Pure Ones, Four Sovereigns, Five Elders, Six Ministries, Seven Star Lords, Eight Directions, Nine Stars, Ten Officials, the Thousand Truthful Ones, and the Ten Thousand Saints, to gather at the Jade Palace for what was called the Heaven-Stabilizing Assembly.
The halls sparkled with jewels. The tables overflowed with heavenly delicacies. The air was thick with incense and music.
Soon, Yuanshi Tianzun, Lingbao Tianzun, Daode Tianzun, the Star Lords, Heavenly Kings, Nezha, and many others arrived with rare treasures and fruits, bowing to the Buddha:
“That demon monkey disturbed the Three Realms. Thanks to your divine power, peace has returned. Let this be known as the Heaven-Stabilizing Assembly.”
Tathagata Buddha smiled and agreed. Applause thundered through the halls. Flutes and zithers played. Divine wine flowed. Celestial maidens danced. Clouds swirled with golden light. It was a feast unlike any other.
The Queen Mother of the West herself arrived with a troop of fairy maidens, performing a graceful dance as she offered a few bright, fragrant Flat Peaches of Immortality.
“Just one bite,” she said with a wink, “and you won’t age for a hundred years.”
Old Man of the South Pole appeared next, carrying lingzhi mushrooms, jade lotuses, and golden elixirs. Laughing, he said:
“I thought that monkey would learn his lesson after being cooked in Taishang Laojun’s alchemy furnace, but nope, he caused even more chaos! Good riddance he’s finally pinned down. That’s a relief!”
Even Barefoot Immortal showed up to celebrate, bringing rare fire dates and divine pears. Praise for Tathagata Buddha’s virtue filled the air.
Tathagata Buddha offered a modest bow. “I only did what needed to be done.” He instructed Ananda and Kasyapa to carefully store the gifts.
The feast rolled on, wine cups clinking, laughter echoing. But just then, a celestial guard burst in:
“Great Sage! He’s poked his head out from under the mountain!”
Tathagata Buddha smiled. “No problem.”
From his sleeve, he pulled out a golden talisman, inscribed with the sacred mantra: Om Mani Padme Hum.
“Stick this to the mountain,” he told Ananda.
Ananda did as told. The moment the talisman touched the mountain, the Five ElementsMountain locked tight. Wukong could only gasp for air, his limbs flailing, but he was going nowhere.
Tathagata Buddha, now fully at ease, recited a few final mantras and commanded the local mountain gods and Five Gates of the Five Elements Mountain to stand watch.
“If the monkey gets hungry, feed him iron pellets. If he’s thirsty, give him molten copper. Let him suffer a while until someone fated comes to save him.”
本章完，感谢阅读！
